Actually can't stand my 'friends'

[prettypenguin]

Grrr big fat rant!!!!


I basically have these two friends who since I found out I was pregnant in feb have met up with me a few times and made horrid comments just picking at everything they can, such as my house, my bump('omg you're massive you're gonna get stretchmarks'- I haven't got any so far, and I wouldn't be that fussed if I did as I've expected to have them)the fact I can't fit into normal clothes because of the bump, my OH, my new puppy, my issue with breastfeeding(I have a phobia of people touching my boobs and I will try to overcome this when the baby is born, but that's not good enough for them I'm still a bad person for not definitely doing it yet) and just generally everything... If I went on you'd be reading for about an hour.

So I've distanced myself from them loads as I've never said anything to them as I try and think that maybe they don't realise they're doing it or maybe it's just me taking things the wrong way and being too sensitive....anyway one of them is coming round tonight which I was nervous about anyway and now she wants the other one to come round and even though it's my house I feel obliged...the latter one is the worst for making digs and she's not even seen my house, dog etc so when she sees them I know I'll get really peed off and end up arguing if she makes comments. And just the fact it's two against one lol.

I just can't be bothered with the pair of them really I'm only inviting them as they pretty much invited themselves, and i haven't seen them for over a month if not more... however I don't have the heart to say anything to them, I hate confrontation and I was just generally hoping if I distanced myself they'd leave me to it but not yet, and I've ran out of excuses as to why they can't come round

Does anyone else have any friends like these or am I the lucky one?

 

[lisey27]

Hi prettypenguin,

I dont have any friends like this and I'm quite glad that I don't...I'm sorry to hear they are treating you like this, friends are supposed to be supportive, kind and excited for new babies etc but they sound like they could be jealous? and they sound like bullies...
I dont think you are being overly sensitive at all, anyone would be hurt by it, I honestly wouldnt have them round, your house, your dog, your bump and everything else shouldnt be judged.
I got quite annoyed reading it as I hate when people 'gang' up on another, esp when its two against one. Just say something back to them, I know you don't like confrontation but you could say something back in a jokey kind of way maybe.
I really hope they behave and are nice tonight and that you get to enjoy your eve.
Sorry for my rant back, you come across as a nice person and you deserve to have good friends around you xx

 

[prettypenguin]

Aww thank you, well in the end I invited the other one but she has plans already with her family (luckily!) so it's just the one coming round tonight. My OH will be here too but I'm guessing he will leave us to it and just do stuff around the house, which makes me think maybe she won't be as bad tonight if he's here. I just hope they're not nasty about the baby when he arrives because I think I will get quite defensive then...and the one that's coming tonight has said in the past it isn't fair as she wanted a family etc since high school and she has the opposite life to me- no children, no house of her own and she has only recently just gotten into a relationship. I do feel bad for her as I know she'd be such a great mum but I can't control what happens in our lives, I just happen to have gotten lucky with my choice of man and how life has turned out

Oh well, if she's mean again I'll probably just make out that I'm tired and send her on her way thanks for reading anyway xxx

 

[stargirl]

Hope it goes well for you and that she was nice and not mean to you! I have friends who I have issues with, they can't understand how my priorities have changed since my OH and I got together. I've distanced myself from them slightly and they are slowly getting the picture. But please, if she or the other one does say something to upset you don't just make excuses, tell them how you feel, other wise they'll always do it! They sound jealous when what they should be is happy for you!

Don't let them stress you out! Think of what you have got and how bright your future is!

 

[lisey27]

Well thats good, hopefully she will be better tonight.
You will be defensive, I have a son and if anyone says anything about him that I think is out of line then I make it clear that they have crossed a line. Your whole life changes once LO arrives and the things you will tolerate will prob change.
I sincerely hope that she is lovely to you and your bubbs as thats what friends are for. It seems that she may be a little jealous as you say, she says it not fair as she wanted it for years. Like you said, its life and you can't control what happens, you can't put your life on hold because she wanted it first.
yeah, if she annoys you, yawn away and say how tired you are lol

Take care and hope you have a lovely eve xx

 

[prettypenguin]

hey guys thanks for your comments she was actually okay with me, she did say some things for instance she said how she thinks its good we have the dog as it gives us more responsibility and we can practice on the dog, to which she added it would probably make me be better with the baby as I don't seem to be amazing with kids....so it was a compliment with a dig on lol, but I just let it go.

She did keep wanting to feel my tummy and kept saying she would do anything to be pregnant right now it's all she's ever wanted, which made me a bit awkward. (I thought later on that she seems so desperate to have kids and I'm thinking it's for the wrong reasons) plus we're both only 22 and when I found out I was pregnant I kept thinking how young I felt to be having a child.

I know what you mean about priorities too, before I got really big but still had a bump most of my friends were inviting me on nights out clubbing and didn't really understand that I didn't want to. They would say things like 'well you don't have to be boring just come out and drink coke or something' which wasn't the point, the point was I didn't want to have someone fall into me or me fall over, plus I'd be falling asleep as soon as I got out but I guess sometimes people don't fully understand unless they've been in that situation.

xxx

 

[Geminiblue]

ok Im sorry but 'FRIENDS' ???? er no theyre not friends making comments like that. You say she wasnt too bad, Id have kicked her arse right out my door, you need to have a chat with yourself about priorities and self esteem to allow these people into your life when they are quite obviously a waste of time and just downing you coz they feel crap about themselves. Makes themselves feel better about their situation to make someone feel bad about theirs. Dont waste your time on dislikeable people. I only hope they dont come round and criticise your parenting when you have your baby or even your baby..... coz thats when you are most vulnerable and I for one was hard on myself enough let alone with disgusting vipers like that. Be kind to yourself, your partner and your child to be, get rid of em theyre not worth your breath even talking about them ggggrrrrr people like this make me so mad

 

[pixie17]

yup i think they are jealous too! ive been in this situation before with 'friends' and it took me a while to realise that they were just jealous and not real friends (i didnt like confrontation either). real friends shouldnt make you feel like that. BTW i have a similat phobia about breastfeeding too, you are not doing anything wrong by not doing it. (its a real pet hate of mine the pressure that women are put under to breastfeed. women should get the support they need either way)

 

[meggymum]

regarding your phobia, im sure that once you have your LO it will be so natural for you to want to feed them you probably wont even think about it as it is such a special feeling

regarding your 'friends', i would keep my distance as they are clearly upsetting you and real friends dont do that.

hugs xx

 

[Daisy2011]

Well maybe the lady who is trying for a baby is finding it hard to watch you and bump grow when she feels like its never going to happen and maybe the digs are defensive and a bit jealous.

If it was me i would talk to her about it and tell her how her comments make you feel and ask her how she is really feeling. It might be that you can get a bit closer.

But thing is it really is better to be happy by yourself than to be around people who make you feel rubbish about yourself. So if thats how you feel about them then find some new freinds. But tell them how they are making you feel becuase maybe they dont know and maybe you are feeling a bit sensitive to.
Good luck
xDaisy