Absolutely fuming!!!!!!!!!!!! rant needed + advice needed

[Scarletts.Mummy]

hey ladies!!

Arghhhh

I have a 4 year old stepson that comes over at weekends who I love to bits ........however his mother is a different story , she has made our lifes hell (mine and OH) for the past two years, attacking him, me, making a mess of our cars etc etc she has been charged with all sorts now and has also cost us £5000 in lawyers fees just so we can see wee man at weekends!

So anyways my parents live abroad and once Scarlett comes me and OH are going to take her to malta to meet them (they are paying for the flights as we cant really afford it) now its middle of winter and when we visit its never a "holiday occasion" in fact the last eight times Iv been over Iv not once used a swimming pool or went and done tourist stuff.

Now my stepsons mum has decided that we are putting the baby before him because we arent taking him I mean WTF is she on about im visiting my parents for christ sake! and to make it better she has taken it upon herself to tell her four year old son that "Daddy and Natalie are taking the baby on an aeroplane but they dont want to take you"

what kind of complete idiot would tell a four year old child that?!?!

We have been really involving him in getting ready for the baby, he picks out clothes, wants to feed her etc and is dead protective of my tummy but I feel like I am fighting a losing battle! I sat with him last night and explained that nothing will change how much we love him and that no one will treat him different from his baby sister and that although he can visit his mummy and daddy by getting the bus or walking I have to get a plane to see mines

How in the hell do I compete with his own mum telling him stuff like this

sorry girls rant over!

 

[~*Leanne*~]

sorry your having a hard time with her!!

unfortunately there are alot of people out there like that!!!

 

[Scarletts.Mummy]

thanks hun.

I can completely understand she is pissed / jealous cos we are becoming a family and con probably talks about his baby sister at home but I would rather she took it out on me or OH than say things like that to him it will only confuse him

 

[~*Leanne*~]

Yeah i know what you mean!

the thing is, she is causing heartache to her own child, rather than to you or your partner!

My mum and dad split when i was young, my mum remarried and they had my half-brother, at no point in my life has my dad EVER tried to say anything nasty about my mum/brother etc etc - things happen in life and she should be happy that her son is going to have a little sister!!!!

 

[Scarletts.Mummy]

the thing is she has been trying to fill his head with crap for ages and all I can do is keep telling him the opposite but I dont want to confuse him

Iv bookmarked a few sites this morning to teach him a bit more about what happens when she comes and show him pics etc and also getting him a pressie from her when she comes. I just dont want him to resent the baby and it terrifies me thats whats gonna happen!

 

[Noor~ul~Usman]

My former best friend had to go through something very similar. The ex wife shared custody of the 3 kids her hubby already had and everything was a competition
My friend and the ex both had baby girls a few months apart and the ex insisted on trying to be 'involved' with the other child but all she ever did was compare them and make sly digs at my friend

It never actually got any better....well, during the time I still saw my friend. The ex did all sorts of crazy things like breaking into the house and stealing just the perfume and a few favourite items of jewllery to 'P' her off
Every meeting was an on going struggle and she used to fill the 4 & 5 year old brains with racist rubbish about their step mum.

Maybe things are better now, but the last time we spoke the husband was trying to get full custody of all the kids. The stupid thing is people like this are so bitter and selfish! Her children were always looking scruffy and/or getting sick and yet rather than care for them properly she'd use them as leverage and blackmail her ex

Don't know if there's anyway you guys can try and do the same thing but unfortunately it's not one of those things that easily fixed

 

[~*Leanne*~]

Yeah the present is a good idea, that's what my mum did when she had my brother, bought me a present and labelled it from my brother!

All you can do hunny is do what your doing now, keep telling him you love him, and he wont be pushed out. involve him as much as you can and he will see that his mum is wrong

 

[ninjawomble]

God what a bitch

You sound like a brilliant and loving stepmummy, and he's lucky to have you

 

[kerryp]

i would stick with what youre doing & keep him involved & the present idea is a good one (labelled from his sister... maybe for looking after you & her?). Sounds to me like the ex is jealous in all honesty. Or maybe the little lad has been talking about his new sister too much at hers & she doesnt like how much hes looking forward to the baby?!

 

[Chelle]

You poor thing Sounds like you are a great step-mum and are doing all the right things, so just carry on as you are. The way that woman is behaving is terrible. I can't believe she would say things to her own son that would be so upsetting for him. She should be helping to make him feel excited and happy not the opposite
Just keep on doing what you are doing hun

 

[Scarletts.Mummy]

thanks ladies

I could just do without it especially with five weeks to go

thanks for the words of support

 

[Morganuk]

To tell her son that he is not wanted because of whatever reasons is discusting and she should be dam right ashamed of herself.

Ignore her and tell her to grow up hun.

 

[lea m]

OMG she sounds like my OH's ex! Shes not so bad these days but she used to be like that! Fill their head with crap! Its disgusting and not fair at all! Your visiting your parents? I went to see my dad in January in Spain! Of course we took HIS grandchildren but not all Joes other children and JKoe had to explain to them that it was visiting my dad! Joseph, Dillon and Lucy ae just lucky that their other grandad lives in Spain and unfortunatly theirs doesnt etc! But then they are a lot older and understand a bit better regardless of what crap she fills their heads with! Women like her make me sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mad!!