a little joke

[weestar21]

While I was driving down the M$ the other day, (going a little faster than I thought) I passed under a bridge only to see a policeman in the other side with a radar gun, The policeman pulled me over, walked up th the car and, with that classic look, patronising smirk, asked:
'Runway too short?'
To which I replied, 'I'm late for work.'
To which he asked, 'What do you do?'
'I'm a rectum stretcher.' I responded.
The policeman was surprised and confused.
'A what? A rectum stretcher? and just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
'Well,' I said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then I work with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet.'
Then the policeman asked questioningly and cautiously, 'And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?'
To which I politely replied, 'You give it a radar gun and park it behind a bridge...'

Speeding ticket: £105.00

Court Costs: £45.00

Look on copper's face: Priceless...

 

[sophie]

 

[Dreamer]

 

[Lauz_1601]

hehe thats brill!

 

[Urchin]

Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side
"When I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got
home was
take off my trousers," he said. "I gave them to your mother and
told her to put
them on.

When she did, they were enormous on her and she said to me that
she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too large.
"I told her, "of course they're too big. I wear the trousers in
this family and I always will." Ever since that day, we have never
had a
single problem."

Jack took his father's advice and as soon as he got Jill alone
after the wedding, he did the same thing; took off his trousers,
gave them to
Jill and told her to put them on. Jill said that the trousers were
too big
and she couldn't possibly wear them. "Exactly, "replied Jack.
"I wear the trousers in this relationship and I always will. I
don't want you to forget that."

Jill paused and removed her knickers and gave them to Jack. "Try
these on," she said, so he tried them on but they were too small.

"I can't possibly get into your knickers," said Jack. "Exactly,"
replied Jill.

"And if you don't change your f*cking attitude, you never will."

 

[weestar21]

lmao omg that is brill

will have to tell that to OH if he dont stop looking at filth then he aint ever getting back into mine...pmsl

 

[pips]

*very suitable for a pg forum:*

an old woman is going through her attic trying to clean it when she finds an old lamp. she rubs it to get the dust off and out pops a genie!!

the genie says: you have freed me, i will now grant you 3 wishes.
the old lady, feeling luck on her side, says: turn me into a beautiful young lady! >>>and puff! she becomes something vaguely resembling monica belluci.

then the old lady says: give me all the gold i will ever need! >>>and puff! her attic fills up with jewellery, coins and golden bars.

the old lady then stops to think what her last wish could be, when her cat walks past... she cries: and turn my cat into prince charming!
>>>the cat transforms quickly into a most handsome young man, starts to laugh, turns to the now stunning young lady and says: NOW you're going to regret having had me castrated!!!!!!!!

 

[weestar21]