hi got the idea from hayley, tell a joke to try and cheer everyone up. here is my sad effort. While i was driving down the A13 today (going a little faster than i should have been). i passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun lying in wait. the copper pulled me over, walked up to the car and with that classic patronising smirk asked: Runway too short? To which i replied, "i am late for work" To which he asked "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher" i responded the copper was surprised and confused, "A what, A rectum stretcher, and just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "well" i said, "i start by inserting one finger then i work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until i can get both hands in, and then i slowly but surely stretch the hole, until its about 6 feet." then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "and just what do you do with a six foot arsehole?" To which i politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge." Speeding ticket £105.00 Penalty points: 3 Court costs: £45 Look on coppers face: Priceless x