A bit worried and confused (BF)

[widowwadman]

Today we had the second visit from a community midwife (a different one from our usual one). Mills is now 5 days old and weighed roughly 300g less than her birth weight (down to 3180 g from 3485g). We had a bad night on the second night at home and most of the following day (yesterday) where she struggled latching on due to my boobs having engorged so much and then getting frustrated, and me getting nervous etc, but we overcame that obstacle in the afternoon, when I gave in and expressed. She not only wolfed down 2oz out of the bottle, but kept drinking from the boob all evening. I was really proud of her (and me). As I was told before that demand feeding is the way to go, I never noted down the times. Her nappies are always wet and most of the time also pooey, so I thought we're doing ok.

The MW now told me to go for 4 hourly feeds and waking Mills if she doesn't ask for one herself and now I'm back to the frazzled state I was in before expressing, as I'm not sure anymore whether I'm doing it right and whether my daughter is getting enough. She was very sleepy today and kept falling asleep both at breast and bottle, and I can never properly wake her up for long when she feeds and she doesn't always manage to latch properly. I wasn't really told off by th MW, but it kind of knocked my confidence, which transfers to Mills and I really don't know whether I need to worry or not. This all isn't helped by a dose of baby blues.

How much should she drink in a feed? Sometimes I only get her on for 5 minutes (sometimes longer, but with breaks, so I'm not sure what the actual feeding time is).

How do I stop her from falling asleep?

In general, how much sleep per day is ok, and when is it too much?

Please help!

 

[Tasha20]

For feck sake what is wrong with these friggin hvs!!!


Hun what you were doing is EXACTLY what you should be doing!

Feeding on demand and following your babies lead is the only way to successfully breastfeed!

When your babies hungry and wants more you will know, when shes had enough, youll know.

It isnt a case of how much (measurements) thats just not how breastfeeding is, its only ever something that was made to feel like it was important because of bottle feeding.

Breastfeeding is nothing like bottlefeeding, how much (measurements) are not important, following you babies lead is the only way, and the only way you will know that your babies is getting exactly what she needs because she will let you know


Ignore this silly hag, she is wrong! if you left your baby to feed every 4 hours your child would loose weight, will cry alot and your milk supply will suffer and then eventualy (well very quickly) your breastfeeding relationship will be over.

I cant believe there are still some pushing this advise, I suggest that you report her to someone higher up than her, as this information she is giving you is wrong!

Newborns sleep alot, be greatful she is ! trust me it wont last long when that growth spurt kicks in!

Newborns do fall asleep at the boob, shes in her mommies arms! so comfortable and so safe , they have very little tummys and can only handle a very small amount at this age and because its breastmilk it is also easily digested because its perfect for her, made exactly right, so it then isnt long before she wants more.

And when she wakes and wants more you just do that.

Your body is more than capable, have faith in yourself and your ability to breastfeed your child.

Its what your boobies are there for and by following your little girl, she will show you the way

 

[Tasha20]

Oh and as for her walfing down the expressed milk it is because its easier to get out, they have to work at the breast to get milk out (which helps build your supply) so its really not reccomended you do this too much in the early stages as it can effect your supply

 

[Tasha20]

Oh and just realised you said midwife! I am even more shocked!

Id report her to head of midwifery

 

[widowwadman]

Well, she said 4 hourly as in I shouldn't allow Mills to go longer than 4 hours without feed, more often is ok, too.But I always had waited for her to demand. I wouldn't be so worried if she hadn't lost so much weight.

 

[Tasha20]

Olivia lost more than that from what I remember, it is normal to loose weight.

Im am sure with the demand feeding she will put it back on, and I am sorry I read your post wrong
I thought you meant she told you to go 4 hours

How often does she feed? it is normal only to feed for 5 mins or so. I was lucky to Olivia to feed for more than 5 mins even when she was 2 months old.

 

[widowwadman]

It depends, sometimes every half hour, sometimes there's a 1 hour, 2 hour or even longer break. She managed to sleep 5 hours in 1 sitting before, and I wasn't worried about it until the midwife visit today.

 

[Tasha20]

Yes that sounnds very normal, In the begining there is no pattern, I found toward 5/6 months she had more of a pattern but as soon as a growth spurt came in that was out the window!

I suggest you take a look at the god of all breastfeeding sites!



http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing.html

A 5-7% weight loss during the first 3-4 days after birth is normal. A 10% weight loss is sometimes considered normal, but this amount of weight loss is a sign that the breastfeeding needs to be evaluated. It's a good idea to have a routine weight check at 5 days (baby should be gaining rather than losing weight by day 5), so that any developing problems can be caught and remedied early.

Baby should regain birth weight by 10 days to 2 weeks. If your baby lost a good bit of weight in the early days, or if your baby is sick or premature, it may take longer to regain birth weight. If baby does not regain birth weight by two weeks, this is a sign that the breastfeeding needs to be evaluated.

Quote from this section http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/gr ... -gain.html

I am sure she will regain her brith weight by 2 weeks, as you said you had a few problems, i had the same but my midwife wasnt too worried and by the second week she had regained + more ( I was shatterd though )

 

[Tasha20]

But bare in mind you had her weight check at 5 days, by next week she should be gaining. and your midwife wasn't reallt that concerned if she was she would be demanding you feed formula (as they usualy do!) but she what she said was a suggestion to see if it help get her weight up quicker, but as it says in the site you cant overfeed and if she doesnt want it she wont, when she does want ti she will ask.

I bet by next week she would of gained, i can understand how worrrying it is but your doing a grand job

 

[widowwadman]

Thanks a lot, this is very reassuring.

 

[Tasha20]

No problem, your doing great!

Oh you make me feel all excited about breastfeeding again!! I cant wait! i did it for over a year and would of gone longer!

Well done hun! if there is any problems feel free to pm me

 

[Sherlock]

Hiya

Firstly, its not really a good idea to be weighing LO after only 5 days as newborns drop weight in the first week and usually have gained it back by 10-14 days. My understanding was that they only normally weigh newborns around 10 days and not before. At 5 days its not a good indication of weight gain etc. Wet nappies are a good sign.

Babies are born with an extra layer of fat stored for this first week or so, so she is not starving.

I'd personally be offering the boob often and letting her demand feed. Tummy is the size of a walnut so it doesn't take much to fill it hence liitle and often. I'd not let her go too long between feeds if it were me because she could get more tired and have less energy due to not feeding enough, hence starting a bit of a vicious circle as she'll be too tired to want to feed properly. I'd say to offer your boob every couple of hours at least. Often my LO would just feed for what seemed like hours but often it was just comfort sucking and him doing what came naturally and trying to build my supply up and get it going by sucking on my boobs.

Why not have a read of the breastfeeding FAQ over in 3rd tri? It has loads of info you may find useful.

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=104775

Also avoid expressing if you can help it. Your supply is not fully in yet and your LO really does need to demand feed. Babies are far more efficient at getting milk from you than any pump. Also baby won't have to work so hard to get milk from a bottle and may start to prefer it and therefore get lazy on the boob and again this can make BF'ing successfully harder. Stick with the boob and give it a chance to work.

I'd go spend a couple of days in bed, watch TV, read a book, lots of skin on skin with baby and cuddles and let her feed as often as possible. Just having her close to your boob, being able to smell you and the milk and so on should encourage her. Gently rubbing your nipple on her cheek will help her to root. As will squeezing a few drops of milk out before feeding. Relax, give it time to work and don't panic if things don't seem to happen straight away. It can take both of you a few days or longer to figure it out. If you feel there is a problem with the latch seek advice from a BF counsellor as it really can make a HUGE difference.

Keep trying with your boob and go with little and often while still this small. Let your baby guide you.

My LO never went longer than 2 hours between feeds in the early weeks. He only went longer once at about 2 days old and got jaundiced. I then had to feed him regardless every 2 hours to help it go away He more or less lived on my boobs then for the next 6 months Big lad, always been a hungry baby.

 

[valentine]

Hi widowman,

I've only skimmed your post due to lack of time, but it sounds like you are doing EVERYTHING PERFECTLY and just suffering from dented confidence. I absolutely agree with Tasha, follow your baby's lead - that's really not a HUGE amount of weight to lose and any m/w or hv worth her salt should be encouraging you to continue breastfeeding, doing what you're doing and not making you feel like you've done anything wrong.

I'd like to bet that if you let your baby feed as much and as often as she wants for the next five days, she'll be up to her birth weight and more. My DD was (and continues to be now on solids) a lazy feeder (she can take or leave milk or food and very rarely appears hungry), she would sleep for hours - being born can be traumatic and very tiring for baby and they need to sleep - I probably wouldn't leave her much more than 4 hours during the day, but I would overnight! She'll be absolutely fine, I promise you - well done with persevering so far, you're doing an amazing job.

Love

Valentine Xxx

 

[babynumbertwo]

Was there a reason baby was weighed on day 5?
I think they are usually weighed on day 10 (unless there is a concern) and then discharged by midwife providing they are same or above birthweight. It is normal to loose up to 10 % of birthweight and unless there are other problems they are usually given up to about age 2 weeks to regain it.
Having said that, if baby had not regained birthweight by 2 weeks then the advice about not going more than 4 hrs would probably be correct and the mother would be encouraged to let baby feed regularly and have lots of skin to skin contact to build up milk supply.
You could also refer yourself to a breastfeeding counsellor either by asking your midwife/HV where a local one is based or by contacting la leche league (who through my own experience of BF I think are fantastic)! Good luck with it. If you're unsure about following the advice of your midwife please ask her to explain again so hopefully you can feel confident with her advice - she's the one who knows your personal situation x

 

[widowwadman]

Thank you so much again, all of you. Much calmer now, and actually managed quite a few good feeds.

I don't know why she was weighed on day five, I assumed it was normal. We had some latching probs on the first day in hospital, but I was only discharged after a good feed (on the evening of day two - She was born 20/12 at 23:28 h, and we were home on 22/12 at 8 PM)

A midwife gave me a call this morning to ask how we were doing and whether I wanted a visit today, or would be happy to wait until the next scheduled one tomorrow. I went for the latter option as the night went really well: We did 15 minutes at midnight, 5 minutes each at 2 AM, 2:30 AM, 3 AM, 3:30 AM and 4 AM. Then she slept until 8:15, when I took her into our bed and we had 45 minutes of cuddling and on and off feeding.

She has shown impressive projectile pooing skills today (yuck! Why does she always wait for me to take the nappy off first?), so I feel much better. Possibly I might crumble again tomorrow, seeing how fragile I feel at the moment, but at the moment all three of us are happy and calm, and your postings contributed to us calming down. So thanks. You've no idea how brilliant you are.

 

[LisaJ1986]

I've nothing to add except Angel was also weighed at 5 days! She dropped from 8lb 3oz to 7lb 10oz and apparently that was fantastic considering i was breastfeeding. Most babies lose so much more due to the early battles!

Sounds like you are doing so incredibly well! A knock of confidence and the baby blues are not the best of mix, but what everyone else has said is pretty much all i'd say.

Motherhood is a tough job in itself, then add the second battle of breastfeeding.

 

[heles7]

Ignore this silly hag, she is wrong! if you left your baby to feed every 4 hours your child would loose weight, will cry alot and your milk supply will suffer and then eventualy (well very quickly) your breastfeeding relationship will be over.

it's true... i followed this advice and james lost weight and we had a lot of trouble continuing breastfeeding although we did manage.

start feeding on demand and take no notice of silly mw!!

good luck