A Bit Of Politeness Perhaps?!

[dannii87]

I am probably on my own here, and taking a huge risk - but I have read a few posts lately that have irritated me a little with regard to being very insensitive towards people's feelings...

My mum once taught me, if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

I just think that if someone posts a thread such as "names decided" etc, they have decided and therefore not asking for an opinion so anything that can be taken in a bad way can be hurtful.

This forum is a place of support and offering advice and opinions (in a nice way!!) and I just think that we should all think before we post...

Sorry to nag...

I'm expecting quite a response ... Hopefully this is taken in a good way xx

 

[muppetmummy]

I think it's not so much what people say but how they say it, sometimes things could be put a bit more tactfully. I think even if someone's decided on a name they still want feedback, otherwise they wouldn't post in this section.
I have to say though I don't think I've ever come across anyone be really nasty about a name on this forum, there are other forums I've come across where some people have been shockingly rude!

 

[dannii87]

I agree, some comments could be said more tactfully, that was what I meant.

I don't think anyone has been outright evil don't get me wrong! I just think some should think before they post about how their comments could be perceived..

And when I said that some people have already decided, I meant that a lot aren't directly asking for an opinion and so in that case, IMO, we shouldn't post anything if we can't say anything nice...?!

That's just my opinion. I did expect to hear a varied response, which is good!

Thanks for posting though, I was a little nervous opening the page lol

xx

 

[muppetmummy]

 

[Krystal]

I hadn't really noticed anything wrong with any of the posts and after having a good look through previous posts I can only find 1 or 2 that say name decided, the rest do ask for peoples opinion. Although I do agree people should have some tact when telling people they don't like the name. In fact I have only noticed 1 comment I thought was rude and if thats one your also thinking about maybe a PM would have been more appropriate? I just think setting posts up like this on a forum is bound to get people arguing their point, if things were getting too bad with people being rude about name choices i'm sure the mods would step in

 

[Sherlock]

I think if people choose to post here about names then they are to some extent looking for others opinions or validation for them. If not, then I'd think they are maybe better off waiting till their LO is born and annoucing the name then. Posting here is bound to get some feedback and opinions. If you don't want other people to comment, then holding off and not telling people is maybe a possibility to consider. It's whatever each person feels comfortable doing.

Taste is subjective. Not everyone is going to comment with a positive and say they like a name, same as not everyone is going to reply and say they love it. If people have a list of names they are usually looking to see what others feel the best pick out of those. It's a bit hit and miss I always think, as even if one name is way out in front, it might still be the name that the parents like the least and vice versa. Not everyone is going to like the same thing, that's the beauty of it.

I like to think my replies are always considered and well thought out. I don't just say 'I hate it' or 'That's flipping awful' but if I honestly don't rate a name, then I am not going to lie about it. But I will be polite.

I personally don't feel anyone has been out of order by way of a reply. One or two comments possibly were a bit lacking in tact, but then maybe that is simply how the person making the post is, straight to the point and not worrying about being as tactful as others. It's not a terrible reflection on a persons choice of name, just a somewhat blunt reply. Forums have a way of bringing together people from all walks of life and of differing personalities. Sometimes not everyone is going to see eye to eye and sometimes feelings might be a little hurt, but at the end of the day, a blunt comment can be forgotten about easily enough. It's not something I would lose sleep over anyways. People are likely to do the same in real life face to face also, only there you also have the facial expressions and so on to go on. So someone in real life may balk at a name chosen or say they don't like it.

I try to consider people's personalities when I read their posts. You can often gauge to some degree how people are in how they write, so if someone does maybe offend/annoy me a little by being blunt/tactless but honest, then how can I be cross at them for being themselves? Posting anything on a forum can elicit a response, how others reading it interpret things, that's down to the individual. And how they then choose to react by way of reply or rebuke and so on....

Now my brain is thinking about this too much I'll stop otherwise I could be analysing this for hours

Anyways, my thoughts are all there Hoping I've expressed myself in a considered manner

 

[Penstraze]

I think this can be a tricky one, I tend to avoid posting on name threads unless I love the name as I don't feel comfortable writing I don't like it especially if its a name I really dislike, I guess I was brought on in the 'if you have nothing good to say dont say anything at all' school However I do think people generally post names in here asking for opinions and if only people that like the name reply they wont be getting a honest impression of peoples opinions which I know when we start thinking about names I will want people to be honest with me if they don't like it. I agree tact is the most important thing and if people aren't asking for an opinion but saying they have 100% decided on a name then perhaps any negative opinions would not be appreciated so are perhaps best not given.

 

[Suzie and Faith]

My thoughts are that if I really don't like a name i wouldn't say so - purely because it's personal choice and not my child so i've no need to worry about it!
I'd always just try and offer advice - if say on spelling or hyphenating (sp?) and combinations.
I don't think people are intentionally rude, just opinionated. Lol.

 

[bellybump]

lol, ive not been around long, fair enough lol, but i havent come across any posts that are mean in any way lol. I know when my sister posted on a forum once that she was definately naming her child Reanna, she got such hurtful comments back about how it looked ugly and whatnot, that 'reanna' is now Brooke lol. I also think sometimes things can be read wrong. So in advance, before i get cranky and maybe take it out on someone, i apologise for being a b!tch lol

 

[dannii87]

Oh of course! I am all for having opinions and different views, I think it's great and please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying anyone has been intentionally rude or anything... I was just raising the point that I personally believe (and I knew not everyone would agree) that a little more tact should go into posting before actually posting it sometimes.

I've asked for opinions before so I'm not against the idea! I've just read a few comments where I thought "if that was me that started that post, I'd have preferred for some people to word that differently because it's a little outright and straight".

I agree Bee, personally, if I'm not keen on a name I won't post. This goes back to my view on - If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. This is JUST my opinion though. Mainly because as lot of people do reply with honesty and I don't want to be the person with a negative.

God I post some essays don't I lol. Sweetcheeks, I didn't set this post up for an argument or anything lol it's my opinion and I'm not directly pointing anyone out. It's not my place to PM someone and say "I didn't like your post" - I thought if I generalise the post to everyone, it would just hopefully make everyone think before posting.

Anyway, there aren't nasty posts being sent out daily where people are really affected, it's just a little something that I (and possibly a few others) feel uncomfortable with when I read certain replies.

to all x

 

[debecca]

Tact is not one of my strong points although I am trying!

Sorry if I've managed to offend anyone. Genuinely though, with some names, I really do have a strong opinion and want to relate that opinion - there is maybe then an argument for just leaving well alone even if someone has asked for advice?

 

[Lou]

I'm a reader and runner in the baby names section. I only comment now and again...because most of the names are so awful.


Joking!!!! I just don't come in this section very often

 

[Sherlock]

I'm a reader and runner in the baby names section. I only comment now and again...because most of the names are so awful.

Joking!!!! I just don't come in this section very often

Hehe I must admit there are some sections of the forum I don't venture into much either.

My big leave alone is the Announcing new arrivals section. Not that I don't like to know who has had their baby, but I really try to avoid reading birth stories as tbh, I've found them a bit overwhelming and scary on more than one occasion. Not anyones fault, its how it happened so they tell it, but it makes me so reluctant to venture near a hospital for example, I can't begin to tell you.

So I read and run in there, as soon as there is a sniff of a birth/labour post I am gone

No doubt I'll post mine there once I give birth. As to how good or bad it is experience wise.....

 

[dannii87]

lol lou...

I'm starting to become one of those too! x