A bit of a rant, think its my hormones but feel very wound up.

[katiejane]

I've had an awful couple of days and right now am really wound up about my midwife! So forgive me for the forthcoming rant, probably hormones, but here it is. Monday was my first day back at work after almost 3 months off, as i've had a few complications with this pregnancy and 4 mc in the past.

I left work monday early for midwife appointment. Normally she's running about 40 in late which is a bit annoying, but she was 2 hours late on monday which was frustrating. I've seen her a few times now and i always feel she doesn't actually remember me or my history. I always have lots of questions and new concerns which she often just dismisses and says i'm a worrier!

Tuesday didn't make it into work as couldn't get car out due to snow, Yesterday all the cars still stuck on the street, so I decided to go down to the local train station and attempt to get two trains to get into work. BIG MISTAKE. Long story short, its ice under alot of the snow, the pathway to station not been gritted and i slipped down a flight of icy steps down to the train station, falling and pulling myself as i tried to grab onto the rail and not fall. Felt very angry wit myself for risking it, should have stayed at home and was very upset. Also had lower abdominal pains and back pain. Was very upset and worried so rang midwife, she was very dismissive and seemed to ask alot of questions just to establish who i was and where she normally see's me. She said without blood the hospital wouldn't see me, but if i wanted to i could go there four hours later for her to find the heartbeat.

The pain got worse so i got a second opinion and ended up at a&e, was taken to a ward and checked out. Me and baby fine, LO heartbeats strong and most likely i just pulled a muscle.

Been resting today, but whats wound me up tonight is my midwife saw my mother in the carpark at the doctors this evening and apperently had a discussion about what a worrier i am. Which is amazing seen as she doesn't seem to know who i am half the time. My mums met her before when OH unable to come with me, so my mum saw her and said hi, then mentioned about me getting checked out at hospital which is why i didn't go see her. MW said oh yes, knew she was fine, she's a worrier. Am i wrong to think this is really dismissive and unproffesional. I think i have right to worry after everything and don't like the thought of being talked about in a car park!

Sorry for going on, hope someone can be bothered reading my essay

 

[megsmeadow]

Em, patient confidentiality??? I know your mum brought it up, even so.......

 

[Mervs Mum]

That was really unprofessional of her regardless of if she thinks you're a 'worrier'. She shouldnt be discussing you with ANYONE! I'd complain and ask for a different MW.

 

[katiejane]

That what i said, i think it's out of order, but not sure if i'm overreacting. I'm annoyed at my mum, but mostly the midwife and seriously thinking if i should change midwife. When I rang her yesterday i found her dismissive, which is how i ended up going to a minor injury unit locally who sent me to a&e.

 

[titch]

Sorry to hear about your fall! Hope you're looking after yourself now, and I hope your work are appreciative of your dedication!!

I think I would be angry too! But then again Im always angry these days. I am a health care professional and she should know that you should NEVER discuss a patient's case in public. I work with children and have bumped into their parents in supermarkets on occasions, I never say hello unless they do first and never ask questions, just say, how are you, nice to see you bye! I dont want to put anyone in a situation where someone says "who was that? why do you see her?"

On occasion Ive had a few parents desparate to tell me every update about their child in public, and Im still really careful to just say 'mmmm' 'oh I see' so that I dont add any information.

Im amazed that she would discuss you without you there, with your mother in a carpark. I'd complain. Its a breach of confidentiality and its taken really seriously in the NHS. Could get you a new midwife who wears a watch too!

Wow, I think Ive just ranted back, we could make this a really long thread!

 

[katiejane]

Tiny you always make me laugh, i'm still amused about you OH and the chicken incident, lol. Thank you for that though you've reassured me that i'm not overreacting. I wonder how i go about find a new midwife, is it too late to change or will cause more trouble than its worth.

 

[Sam's Mum]

She sounds totally unprofessional! And as a midwife surely she should know that everyone worries about everything throughout their pregnancy whether there's any reason for it in their history or not - I'd be absolutely fuming that she said that to your mum!

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

*SLAP* thats so bad, that would make me feel like a child. Can you change midwife? She should know not to discuss you with anyone, even your mother!

 

[FebMum2Be]

Thats what a bloody midwife is there for.. To reassure when little worries and anything else you feel like talking about pops up Sounds like she's in the wrong job! I would definitly ask for a different midwife and complain about how she treated you.. Glad everythings okay after the fall x

 

[Toonlass]

Sometimes i wonder why some midwives are in the profesion when some clearly couldn't give a toss! Does my head in!!! Pregnancy is a wonderful but scary time and the MW should understand this and be supportive in all ways. Its people like that miserable wench that make me wanna be a MW myself, then at least i could make just a few woman happy when it matters.

I think you did the right thing going to A&E hun, hope your feeling ok today xx

 

[ToffeePop]

I was disgusted at this and had to refrain from writing (as usual, until someone more qualified/experienced with midwives in particular replied). It is totally and utterly a breach of confidentiality that this woman discussed YOUR personal health details outside of speaking with you. I don't care if it was your partner or your mother that she spoke to, it is NOT allowed. I would not only change midwife immediately, but also log a complaint against her.

It's precisely what grips my sh.. about the medical profession and why I am now currently so overjoyed at having a doctor that doesn't make me feel like an eejit - it shouldn't be that I'm "happy to have found" a decent doctor, nor should it be that you have to change midwife due to her unprofessional behaviour. You're not being ANYTHING - you're a first-time, pregnant woman whose body is going through changes and everything that you have never experienced before - and even if you had, ffs, each one is different! - and if you have health concerns, a little reassurance costs sod all.

I honestly and truly would get rid of her. Why people go into jobs that they become so numb to that they don't seem to care anymore is beyond me...perhaps you should suggest that due to her personality, she should reconsider her choice of career as there's not much "caring" going on there.

Rant head off. Jeesh....

 

[katiejane]

Thank you for everyone's reply's. How much more am i likely to see her? I have no idea how easy it is to change midwifes. My mother says i'm overreacting and hyper sensitive at the moment, i told her she sounded almost as patronising as the MW. You've all reassured me that i'm not overreacting and that it is out of order. Toonlass i'm feeling a bit better today, backs not as sore and I don't feel angry today, hormones much be having a quiet day lol x

 

[titch]

Tiny you always make me laugh, i'm still amused about you OH and the chicken incident, lol. Thank you for that though you've reassured me that i'm not overreacting. I wonder how i go about find a new midwife, is it too late to change or will cause more trouble than its worth.

Ahh the chicken incident, I think we'll have to call it chicken gate. Got myself so worked up I was sick. I can see the funny side through the anger and I know its my hormones, I dont think my OH would survive this pregnancy if I couldnt come on here and rant!

Each NHS trust has a complaints officer who deals with any complaint. You could just ring your GP surgery and say to the receptionist that you would like to make a complaint, we all have to sit through boring training courses to follow the correct procedure, she should advise you to put your complaint in writing and give the name and address to send it to. They then have to investigate what happened and write back to you within a certian time frame, I think its 2 weeks but it might vary between trusts. You wont have to do anything else, the complaints manager is defiantely on the patients side so dont worry about it affecting your treatment. Most likely they will assign a new midwife to make you feel more comfortable. And they will probably give your midwife a formal warning for breach of confidentiality, that'll scare her into never doing it again!

You might be able to find the complaints policy in google.

Good luck!

 

[joanna0110]

I would definately make a complaint in writing and ask for a change of mw - it is your right as it is with a doctor. The way you have to look at it is you have have had numerous bad experiences with her adding to your stress and the next poor lady to be assigned her will probably get the same treatment.

Complaining is not my favourite thing to do but if it saves someone else being treated the way you have i would do it. Hope you get another mw who is more supportive and positive - oh and on time (there really is no need for that)

 

[Pudds86]

If I was you, I wouldn't worry about how long it is going to take to change midwives. You simply should phone the surgery, ask to speak to the head nurse/ midwife there and tell that that under no circumstance do you wish to see that same midwife again and with immediate effect you would like to be given a new one. They are not allowed to have you see her again once you request not to, so it will take as long as when your next appointment is.

If they ask why explain your confidentiality has been breached and that she is lucky not to have a grievance raised against her.

xx

 

[Mamafy]

Sorry to hear you fell hun

Last time I opted for Hospital/consultant care as I was sick of nosey b@tches Not all Mw's are the same I hasten to add but at my surgery they talked that loud with everyone patient you could hear what colour the patients knickers were! So no thank you

 

[scaredmum2be]

If i knew someone like that i would demand another MW aswell as she knew youve had miscarriages in the past she should of got you sorted by now.
glad everything is ok of hearing hearbeat x