....

[helsekia]

I miss my mum and dad soooooo much.i just really needed to get it off my chest and out in the open.my mum passed away in 1996 and my dad in 2002,but i still miss them.everyday i think about them and the fact theyre missing out on my wonderful kids.my mum never saw either of them,my dad saw kiara and if i could have them here i would.im sat sobbing typing this but ive been thinking lke this since before caden was born,its just not fair.and to be honest i think thats why i dont get on with my inlaws cos i resent them being here and my parents arent.my inlaws get to spend time with the kids my parents dont and it annoys me my inlaws dont appreciate what time with the kids they have.i cant talk to anyone face to face about this cos i just fall into a crying mess .my hubby has no idea how i feel he just thinks i hate his parents.i rreally just needed to get it off my chest.thanx

 

[LisaJ1986]

I don't have anything to say so all i can offer you are hugs and an ear if you need it
I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel. I'm just so sorry. And i completely understand you resenting your in-laws.

 

[Tadpole]

Oh hun. I That's so sad. I can totally understand you resenting your in-laws. I wish I could say something helpful.

 

[SarahH]

Oh hun I know EXACTLY how you feel. My Mum passed away 6.5yrs ago and I still cry about her at least once a day. I miss her soooo much, even more so since I have had Arianna.
My Dad is still here, but we dont have the best relationship since my Mum passed... horrible things were said on both parts that will never be forgiven. We still see each other, but, mainly for the sake of Arianna.

I love my inlaws to bits, but then I still hate them for being here (even tho they live in the states)... my MIL is the worst for saying stuff like "well I am her only Nana".... erm no, her grandma is with her wherever she goes.

Sorry... I haven't really offered advice there have I? Just, well PM me anytime as I know how you feel and we can have a good moan/cry together.

 

[helsekia]

thanks for the replies.i really thought id gotten over this,well not that id ever get over it but moved on if you know what i mean,accepted it.guess not.and its like yo cant admit to anyone how you feel but simple comments really just get to you,or something reminds me of them,tonight it was a you tube vid.its just eating away at me,its been worse for the past month

I love my inlaws to bits, but then I still hate them for being here (even tho they live in the states)... my MIL is the worst for saying stuff like "well I am her only Nana".... erm no, her grandma is with her wherever she goes.

my mother in law says this.she even says ''you can call me mum you know'' yeah right.dont think so somehow.if i go back to the gp he will stick me back on anti depressants and im so not wanting to go there.ive been off them for 18months and i just feel it will be a step backwards.thanx for lettin me rant and for the lovely posts too

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

Oh hun i dont know how this feels so no advice but didnt want to read and run and i think you deserve some big hugs
my parents mean the world to me so my heart gose out to you

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

awwwww hun i can not even consider how hard it must be to not have one parent around let alone to,

could u maybe right ur husband a letter explaing how u feel, and the reasons ur like how u r to his parents. may help him to understand a bit to, and may help u him understanding a bit more ?

 

[nori]

aww hun i really feel for you. Bereavment must be one of the hardest things to deal with. I really would go back to your doctor and ask for some counselling. If you dont want to go back on antidepressants then just say that (they certainly cant make you) The counselling maybe hard at first but it may help just that little bit further down the line.

Really hope you feel a bit better soon,

Claire x

 

[clairescunny55]

i cant imagine how hard that must be for you. I see my parents a few times a week but since my dad left my mum the other week (they're back together now) it just doesnt feel the same. I dont enjoy going there as much, i just feel like i'm in the way. I guess what i'm saying is i miss them. It doesnt feel the same as when i was young and used to have a laugh and a joke but i cant imagine life without them. It must be very hard for you and you've every right to be upset about it. Here if you need me xxxx

 

[helsekia]

for everyone.thankyou soooo much


i met with my eldest sister today and we had lunch.it was only an hour as she was at work but we have promised to do it again next week i enjoyed it and made me feel i wasnt alone.we talked a bit about family and i think it did me good as well as her.

nori
Post subject: Re: ....

aww hun i really feel for you. Bereavment must be one of the hardest things to deal with. I really would go back to your doctor and ask for some counselling. If you dont want to go back on antidepressants then just say that (they certainly cant make you) The counselling maybe hard at first but it may help just that little bit further down the line.

i did have counselling.to be honest it didnt really do anything,i just thought it was all a bit wishy washy,i can get better counselling on this forum.

clairescunny55
Post subject: Re: ....

i cant imagine how hard that must be for you. I see my parents a few times a week but since my dad left my mum the other week (they're back together now) it just doesnt feel the same. I dont enjoy going there as much, i just feel like i'm in the way. I guess what i'm saying is i miss them. It doesnt feel the same as when i was young and used to have a laugh and a joke but i cant imagine life without them. It must be very hard for you and you've every right to be upset about it. Here if you need me xxxx

im going to answer answer your pm next so i will see you thursday

 

[mamichuli]

I havent any advice for you hun, but huge amounts of sympathy ... I would feel the same. Just wanted to give you these



Lisa

 

[CH0C0H0LIC]

I understand how you feel Honey, my Mum passed away in 1991 but still I get upset about it even though she drove me mad and we weren't that close. I'm jealous of my 3 sisters because she was at their weddings and was alive when their kids were born but won't be at my wedding and was gone before any of my kids were born. I'm lucky I still have my Dad but he lives so far away so we don't see him often.

My OH lost both his parents many years ago, so I guess it's worse for him too.

It's nice though when my son looks up in the sky, points to the brightest star and says look there's Nanny, proves she's still there for us all.

Always here pm anytime x

Sarah xxx

 

[Babylicious]

My mum passed away in jan 1996 so I know how you feel and I don't see my dad now

 

[Quill]

In-laws are NO kind of substitute/replacement for real parents. I lost my mom 7 years ago. She died a month after I turned 21. I was with her in her last moments and it really shook me up for years, kept reliving those horrible minutes. I look at mothers and daughters in the streets sometimes when they're walking along and I get jealous... I wish so much that she was here to see her grandson.

I know what you mean about things reminding you of her. I get that a lot. I try to put a positive spin on it, because things reminding me of her means that she had such an effect on me. But it's hard sometimes, when it comes at a bad moment, I get a bit choked up sometimes. There's so much I want to ask her about motherhood. And I never can.

There is no way I could really convey to my DH what I feel about all this. I have problems with his mom, and I can't help but wish my own mom was here to give advice on how to deal with her.

I never went to counseling either. Talked to some therapist two or three times and it was all useless. I don't really know what to say, except that a part of your parents will always be with you, and you will always be passing tiny things on that you got from them, to your own kids. That way they will live on in a small way. It helps me a lot to think that. to you.

 

[beanie]

I'm sorry you are feeling like this hun. I would give anything to have my mum ad dad see my little girls, even for them to know how happy I am as when my dad died I was in a relationship with a man he didn't like very much and it hurts to think that's all he knows.

Ito be honest i think thats why i dont get on with my inlaws cos i resent them being here and my parents arent.my inlaws get to spend time with the kids my parents dont and it annoys me my inlaws dont appreciate what time with the kids they have.i cant talk to anyone face to face about this cos i just fall into a crying mess .my hubby has no idea how i feel he just thinks i hate his parents.

I am trying to phrase this really carefully as I really don't mean this in a horrible way and I hope that you take it as I mean it. Also I haven't read any other posts about your in laws so I am unaware of any other issues you might have but based on this thread I think you need to talk to your OH and your in laws. It is unfair but its not their fault that they are around and your parents aren't. Explain how you feel about it all. Like I said I don't know of any problems you have had with your in laws so I realsie I might not have the full picture.

I am very lucky I guess, I have an amazing set of in laws who love the two girls so much. It still hurts when I think about how much my dad would have spoilt Seren and Cally; or how much my mum would have been here for me. But I also take comfort from the fact that Seren and Cally have a great relationship with their nanny and grandads, and that as they grow up they will know about their Nanny Mary and Grandad Bob.