6 week old unsettled and sleep issues

[Rooster30]

Firstly, should I be worrying about sleep and routines at all at this stage?

Reason being, my baby REALLY fights sleep. First two weeks were amazing, she'd go in her crib and doze off to Ewan the Sheep with no problems and sleep for three to four hour stretches, even at night.

However, she woke up. Now she just refuses to sleep in her crib. During the day she will nap, but on me, as soon as I put her in her crib she either wakes immediately or at best within half an hour. From 6pm, she refuses sleep point blank (not even on me) until she completely wears herself out from being overtired and finally conks out at around 21:30-22:30 - thankfully she then sleeps the whole night through from sheer exhaustion.

During the day, between feeds and the pathetic 'naps' she pretty much cries all the time. To be honest i'm feeling completely worn down as I usually end up feeding her (I BF) as I don't know what else to offer her to keep her calm.

I suffered with PND with my son and thought I had swerved it thus far but i'm starting to reach the end of my tether. I think the only thing that gets me through it is the fact that she sleeps at night.

I love her to pieces but my goodness I just wanted her settled and to self settle to sleep - or to respond to ANY sleeping aid. She's swaddled, rocked, white noised, lullabies - nothing is working

Help!

 

[Allthingsgirly]

Personally I don't think you should be too concerned about a routine as you will eventually just slide into one without even realising it! My little boy hardly sleeps at all during the day but these past few days it is getting harder he really fights his sleep & he is constantly screaming even when he is dry, fed etc I think his gums are starting to play up so that could be a reason for why he is just so unsettled! He had me up for the first time in the middle of the night for a feed he normally sleeps threw the night now but last night he woke up!

He is finally asleep now at about 8ish he went down but I don't expect him to sleep very long! Maybe at his last feed he will then go down and I am hoping that he sleeps threw as today I am completely shattered!

It's horrible not knowing what is wrong or the right thing to do to get them to sleep it is completely exhausting when all they seem to do is just cry ESP when we know they are shattered but they are just fighting sleep! She sounds very similar to my little boy & I know it is early but is she showing any signs that her gums could be giving her some trouble ? Some babies just liked to be cuddled I know my little boy loves his cuddles & doesn't much like to be put down now I think he feels like he is being left

 

[TTT]

I think its pretty normal which I hope at least reassures you. She is probably more aware than she was a couple of weeks ago and is wanting you for comfort.

We let our baby sleep on us for about 5 weeks and we took it in turns to sleep for the first 5 weeks or so, I would go Dow. About 8 and wed get 5/6 hours each. I bf too and he still feeds every two hours round the clock. My lo got frustrated on us after about 5 weeks so we battled getting him to sleep in his carry cot from then on. He would and still does go down more easily for my husband. If I have him he just wants feeding so sometimes my husband would take him from me to put him down. From about 10 weeks my husband went into the spare room to get undisturbed sleep and I started co sleeping with a swaddle up. He has just out grown his swaddle up and has gone into a grobag with no problems. I'm hoping to move him into his cot at 6 months ish.

Don't feel bad for getting frustrated with her, that doesn't mean you're steering towards pnd, its completely normal. Were sleep deprived and are carrying the weight if new responsibilities and worries and have no time to look after ourselves. I manage by not expecting too kixh of myself. If I manage to keep the kitchen clean and do a wash load everyday I'm happy.

Since she is bf if you're comfortable with it I think you'll find co sleeping a big help. When I first started I bf lo lying down when it was time to out him down and I only had to do that for a few days. He also prefers sleeping on his side. If you think it may work for you Google James.McKenna's co sleeping guidelines.

 

[TTT]

I agree with allthingsgirly about routine. Don't get yourself bogged down with that as you'll only make it hard work for yourself when they won't follow suit. Someone gave me a good piece of advice in here and said they worked on a sleep, feed, play routine or whatever order works for you. They change too sometimes my lo wants two naps in between feeds sometimes none.

 

[Rooster30]

Thanks ladies.

Thankfully, night time sleep isn't a problem once she goes to sleep! It's just settling her down.

She definitely seems very attached to me and i'm sure she goes to me for comfort. She has a hell of a temper on her and gets herself into a huge state. I'm starting to worry about what will happen when I stop boobie feeding. Frankly, I don't want to be doing it long-term and don't want her overly reliant on my boobs for have settled. I have noticed she sleeps better with my OH puts her to bed.

I'm not really for co-sleeping unfortunately. I prefer my own space

 

[Rooster30]

I followed the EASY (eat, activity, sleep, you) routine with my son and it worked relatively well - however, it just is not happening with my girl as she seems to be on me ALL the time.

I'm starting to regret ever breastfeeding, I just can't interpret when she's on me for comfort or for feeding. To be honest, I can't read her AT ALL

 

[littlemonkey]

Your description of your daughter sounds very similar to my eldest who was a very difficult baby. I felt like every day was a battle with him and I think back on the first three months of his life as very dark days. He would scream pretty much constantly and never napped for longer than half an hour, even in the pram! I had to hold him for naps too.

Eventually we found out he had silent reflux and once we got treatment for this he was a different baby overnight.

There is something about six weeks apparently that they do become more alert. My youngest is six weeks now and no longer nods off at the drop of a hat. I need to take him upstairs to his crib for him to nap in the dark and quiet now, otherwise he'll stay awake for hours.

 

[kumber]

They go through a massive leap between 4-6 weeks which could explain it! Keep persevering hun and, as already said, it's totally normal to get frustrated!

 

[Allthingsgirly]

Rooster your daughter sounds like the female version of my son he has a terrible temper on him he will scream the house down for what seems like no reason. When I take his bottle out to wind him he will scream in such a loud pitched scream I pop his bottle back in & wait till He has finished to burp him. I can't take the struggle with trying to get him to bend as he just goes rigid! You wouldn't believe that a baby at nearly 11 weeks old would be so clever to know his own mind but my little one is 11 weeks nearly going on 5 he just gets so frustrated! He is an absolute joy it's just hard when one minute he is smiling & chatty then he will just suddenly turn into a screaming unhappy little boy for no reason. I am 100% certain his gums are giving him jip though I've mentioned my issues to the HV who isn't concerned at all that it could be anything wrong I am just putting it down to he's a baby that's what they do! He is still asleep so this could mean he is down for the night but until it's morning I won't believe that he will sleep threw the night as he didn't last night but that was the first time in a long time he has woken up @ 2am for feeding. It's hard but I am just keeping going with him it's all I can do & I am now trying so hard to not get myself worked up when he just cries & it seems like he is never going to stop, I'm getting more heartbroken as I can't take away his discomfort from him & he looks at me with those little eyes of his as if to say please mommy take my pain away it breaks me!

 

[Sprout]

I could have written this same post when my girl was 6 weeks. As others have said, don't worry about a routine just yet. 6 weeks is a big growth spurt and I remember feeding literally every half hour then.

I also remember saying to my health visitor that I still wasn't able to interpret her cries and tell what she wanted and she said "I'm not surprised, I don't think even she knows what she wants at this age" which totally changed my perspective!

Babies that little just want the comfort of their mummies so, as hard as it is, I found holding/feeding her pretty much constantly was the best way to keep her from crying and help her sleep.

Things will get better! Just hang in there and remember she's just a wee one and the world is still a big, scary place xx

 

[Rooster30]

Thanks all. I know from my son that everything gets better eventually, which is probably what is keeping me sane. I guess I worry that she has a stubborn side that will keep me on edge for, well... the rest of my days I'm just envisioning future battles with weaning off the boob (which is why i'm refusing giving her a dummy to help settle as don't want to wean her off that either!). I know that if she struggles with wind, which I suspect she does then that will sort itself out.

The past two nights routine has been, calm baby, gets a little fussy, breastfeed, calm, attempt bedtime - scream, scream scream, an hour or two later breastfeed, calm, bed. Why can't she just sleep after the first breastfeed instead of the agro of the screaming first?

Oh wait, no, scream, breastfeed, bed for two minutes, cry. (she's just winding up AGAIN).

As you may have gathered, I am a complete and utter worrier.

So fed up ladies, starting to feel like crying myself.

 

[Allthingsgirly]

If you feel the need to cry then cry! There is no shame in it honey just remember your doing an amazing job! I had a little cry today but it was because I wanted to make him better I hate seeing him cry I have to keep telling myself that sometimes my little honey will cry just because he wants to cry & not because he is in pain, wanting feeding or changing he just wants to keep me on my toes lol. At times I feel guilty because I find motherhood a breeze for the majority I do have an easy baby to look after but he will sometimes have times that are difficult! For some mothers who have it 24/7 every day they would find what I am finding trying probably a breeze so I have to keep reminding myself that I am lucky

 

[TTT]

Why don't you offer a bottle and see if shell take one? If she will you can give yourself a break, either by combi feeding, express feeding or switching to formula. If you leave it much later I'd be surprised if shell take a bottle.
I bf and my lo uses me as a dummy and has gone through the fourth leap and is so distractable so I'm starting to express to make sure he getsenough hind milk in tthe day as he seems to be making up for his feeding at night now.

 

[kitten2014]

bless ya rooster, cant imagine what you're going through...we are fortunate that she settles reasonably well both day and night (although fighting it today after swimming this morning...!).

I have a friend who is also struggling with BFing - getting approx 2hrs a night sleep without baby on her and hubby feels he cant help her, she has two teenagers too so feels she is not giving them enough time also...think you just need to try everything and find what works for you...I struggle to fit in two 30min sessions of expressing per day as her nap times r so erratic and my boobs need consistent times for expressing so cant imaging how hard it is all day like that...at least now she takes naps she gives us a bit of time for us to get stuff done...bless em

 

[Sunbeam638]

Babies def go through the 6 week growth spurt which may add to it.

I combi fed last time & this time it's just BF I find this one was an angel first two weeks then became really hard trying to put to sleep.

I find making a cocoon type swaddle in Moses basket helps me (link is on one if the threads) and I don't put him on his side as such but he sleeps more on one and last two days that has helped us improve him sleeping as he was waking up as soon as I was putting him down.

Xx

 

[Rooster30]

Thanks everyone. We had a better night last night. She slept 2015-0600. I took her to bed at same time as her brother at 1900, swaddled and gave her a 5oz bottle with some soothing lullaby music in background. She dozed off and woke just when I left the room (as usual) but my OH went back in a couple of times and sorted her out I was convinced she'd be back up again so didn't pump... wish I had! Been awake myself since 4am wanting to pump but worried she'd wake and I'd be empty!

No complaints from me (my OH is complaining though, he prefers Middle of the night wake up than early starts).

I went and bought a blackout blind yesterday. I think she prefers to sleep in the dark. Who knows. See how tonight goes...

 

[kitten2014]

rooster do you have a fan or white noise playing? our lil miss was fighting the sleep bigtime last night, sang songs, dummy, swaddled but every time left the room she woke, then realised hadnt put the fan on which she has been used to since birth, hey presto sleeping baby....I have the same dilemma with pumpiing in that need to pick a time when she is asleep to do it and of course the irregularity isnt great for the boobs lol but you gotta take the time when you can...sat pumping now watching her on camera hoping she stays asleep for 30mins lol, usually pump at 10-11ish but she didnt drop off til late so think her daytime naps will be delayed today...