3rd miscarriage looking for hope.

[Hayley M]

I am currently going through my 3rd miscarriage after suffering from a chemical pregnancy in August 2016 and another miscarriage in 2014 when I was 8 weeks. I feel so lonely and scared that history is going to repeat itself if I try to conceive again however I am desperate to give my 4 year old a little brother or sister. I feel my current miscarriage has effected me the most both physically and mentally. I was rushed to hospital yesterday via ambulance as I was in so much pain and loosing a lot of blood ( I had previously collapsed whilst going through my 1st loss because of this). I was given gas and air and a doctor ended up having to remove the rest of the pregnancy tissue whilst I was awake.
The word horrific doesn't cover how awful this experience was.. I'm 25 years old so feel that time is on my side but can't help but worry that there is something wrong with me that's causing the MCs.
Basically I am looking for some reassurance and advice from other mummy's who have been through the same thing.

 

[Emily0505]

I'm so sorry you're going through this hun.

We have a son and started TTC for our second in October 2014. I assumed it would be as easy and straightforward as it had been to have my son but sadly this was not the case.

I suffered three consecutive miscarriages. We went for testing at the Recurrent Miscarriages Clinic and all our test results came back normal, so no reason has ever been found for why I lost three in a row.

I fell pregnant the cycle after we went for testing and I'm now just under 30 weeks pregnant with my daughter. I'm very up and down with my anxiety worrying that something will go wrong but touch wood all seems to be going well.

I hope that your next pregnancy brings you your rainbow baby.

XX

 

[Hayley M]

Thank you for replying. I'm wanting to try again but in two minds whether I should wait until Iv had tests. I had no issues with my little boy which is making me feel a little better. Iv heard taking low dose aspirin may help so I might try that. I think my anxiety will be through the roof with any future pregnancies I have- I was so chilled When I was pregnant with my little boy !!

 

[Emily0505]

We held off TTC while waiting for tests. I lost my third in May last year and we had our tests at the start of August and I found out I was pregnant on 28th August.

I asked the consultant about aspirin and she said it would only help if I had a clotting issue, otherwise there was no point in taking it.

XX

 

[Hayley M]

Are you having extra scans because of your previous losses?? I'm hoping I won't have to wait too long until I can start having some tests.

 

[Emily0505]

Yes I did, I had an extra scan at eight weeks and another at ten weeks.

We were referred right away after our third loss but you had to be showing non pregnant blood test levels for six weeks before they could do the tests. So when the EPU confirmed I was miscarrying my third (it was quite a confusing loss, suspected ectopic and things not adding up) they just made the referral for eight weeks time.

XX

 

[lisey]

I am another one who has had recurrent miscarriages. I have a son who is now 15 and had no problems at all conceiving him. We started ttc in 2011 and suffered 4 miscarriages all in all. We had tests done and all came back fine which I pretty much knew it would.
I was told specifically not to take aspirin as if taken with no clotting issue then could increase miscarriage rates. He also said that aspirin alone wouldn't be sufficient enough if there was a clotting issue.

I am now 30 weeks pregnant after having IVF, (the Ivf is due to other reasons, not the miscarriages, we just couldn't conceive naturally anymore it seems).

I hope you too, get your rainbow baby soon as I know just how heartbreaking it is xx

 

[Hayley M]

Thank you Lisey, I'm hoping that all tests come back clear but I suppose it will not give me any closure on my losses. I'm currently off work sick and the thought of returning any time soon is unbearable. Due to working with agressive and highly volatile patients I had to inform my work place immediately which resulted in the whole of my team knowing about my pregnancy.

 

[lisey]

Stay off until you're ready, the doctor will give you a note. I went back too early after one of mine and it just pro-longed the pain as couldn't grieve properly xx

 

[Emily0505]

With my second mc I was off for around 8 weeks. I had been signed off work with stress three days before I had a private scan and was told we'd lost our baby and I was a mess and not in any state to work.

Take as long as you need off hun, your doctor can sign you off.

Don't feel bad that people will know you've lost the baby. A miscarriage is nothing at all to be ashamed of and if people know then they can support you through it.



XX

 

[Hayley M]

Thank you. With my previous 2 MC I seemed to pick myself up quite quickly and was back to work within a week. Il contact my GP tomorrow and ask for a sick note as Iv already been off a week as I had started bleeding last Friday which had started at work. I am able to self certify for a week however after this I will need to provide a sick note. Xx

 

[Bythesea]

Hey Hun, I suffered 4 miscarriages in a row after no issues with conceiving my 2 boys. Recurrent miscarriage testing came back clear, they said it could be bad luck or an unfussy uterus and that the only people they didn't see go on to have a healthy baby were the ones that gave up. I'm currently almost 23 weeks pregnant and so far all ok but I am certainly more anxious this time around. I had extra scans at 6,8 and 10 weeks which helped with the anxiety in the beginning but was hard to then go 8 weeks between 12 and 20!!! Ive booked in for a 4d scan on Mother's Day at 27 weeks to keep me going until the baby arrives. I tried aspirin with one of the pregnancies but went on to miscarry, with this one I cut out gluten while ttc and until 6 weeks pregnant, and didn't do the deed after ovulation until 14 weeks gone....
hope it happens soon and take as much time off as you need xxxxx

 

[Hayley M]

Thank you for the glimmer of hope I needed. I'm no longer feeling alone and really hoping I will soon have my rainbow baby. I think I took for granted my first pregnancy as it was so straight forward and did have much insight into the pain others have to go through to have a child. I'm counting my lucky stairs that I have a happy healthy 4 year old that puts a smile on my face on even the darkest of days. X

 

[Bythesea]

Thank you for the glimmer of hope I needed. I'm no longer feeling alone and really hoping I will soon have my rainbow baby. I think I took for granted my first pregnancy as it was so straight forward and did have much insight into the pain others have to go through to have a child. I'm counting my lucky stairs that I have a happy healthy 4 year old that puts a smile on my face on even the darkest of days. X

Indeed you do. Focus on your little one, and don't give up just yet lovely Xxxxx

 

[Hayley M]

Just wondering if anybody has had a successful pregnancy after taking low dose aspirin??

 

[Emily0505]

I think some of the May mummies were prescribed low dose aspirin but it won't make any difference or prevent a miscarriage unless the causes of your losses have been through clotting issues.

I've not done anything different with this pregnancy than with the ones I lost and as our tests came back normal it's likely that there was a chromosomal abnormality with the babies and that's why I lost them.

I would maybe stop TTC until you've had some tests done and then you can discuss things like aspirin etc with your consultant.

 

[miamia]

I fully agree with Emily 0505, if a woman has experienced 3 mcs in a row, it's time to check in with a doc, as there are various reasons why a woman can't conceive. If it occurs chromosomal abnormalities are the issue, aspirin doesn't work. Doc usually recommend doing pgs ngs to increase chances of conceiving.

 

[lisey]

Remember in most cases there is no cause and it's considered 'bad luck'. As frustrating as that is, it is actually (apparently) the best outcome. Maybe see about getting process of testing started as it may make you feel a little better xx

 

[Hayley M]

I have contacted my gp and he has put it down to "bad luck". He has worked in gyne and has advised that I can start trying again when I am feeling ready too. X

 

[lisey]

He can't just decide its bad luck without testing. It most likely is but he doesn't know for sure.
I would push for a referral to get all the tests done as you will only worry otherwise xx