3 year old, 2 year old and thinking of having another...

[Jonny91]

Hello, im brand new to the forum so hopefully iv posted this in the right place

I have 2 lovely girls, me and my wife only ever wanted 2 children so we went for a small gap (14 months apart) and im so happy we had a small gap as my girls are amazing, they play all day long together, we do all girly stuff, watch girls films, do princess tea parties and all stuff like that and its great, i have no feeling of wanting a boy or anything like that

Recently we went away to a christian festival and there we met and saw loads of different families of all shapes and sizes and it made me really want to have another baby! i have talked with my wife and she is feeling along the same lines!

My biggest concerns are..

Causing an issue to what we already have going (my girls are as close as twins as you get and there relationship is amazing, anything to break that would be horrible)

Money! (we got rid of ALL of our baby stuff as we were "done" so i would have to re buy everything)

Are family things made for 4? (often you see family tickets for families of 4, hotel rooms only take 4, cars are best suited for 4 especially as i would have 3 car seats, rides at theme parks are often for 4, so many family things are for 4)

Will the age gap be too random? (when baby would be born i would have a 3 and a 4 year old, and then a newborn, will the baby be left out in years to come? especially if it was a boy)


My biggest pulls towards are

I dont feel done as a farther and what i can give, i feel there is room to love and have another (we are currently having a house extension so by christmas it will be 4 bedroom so room in my heart and in my house!)

My biggest girl was an AMAZING big sister, and i feel she would be again, friends of mine have a baby and she loves talking to it and pushing it around, but my youngest is such a baby herself still im worried she would clash or be jealous but i would like to see her as an older sister also

I love families and kids and every stage of parenting and want to do it all again!


I do worry tho that this feeling is one i will never shift, if i had a 3rd, when there 2 will i want another? will this feeling every shift? so is messing up my flow now where everything seems close to perfect just a silly thing to do?

I know lots of people wouldnt ask they would just jump, and i cant ask parents there opinions as which parent would ever say "no i wish i didnt have my 3rd" it just wouldnt happen!

I just felt i wanted to hear an opinion other then mine or my wives, and all i can read online is how things will be hard but worth it, which i know but im so worried, and really my biggest worry is ruining the amazing bond my girls have!

Thanks all

 

[JD.Deedee]

I think that 3 or even 4 kids is quite common.. people even have 5,6 or even more children if that's what they really want. I don't think their fun is spoiled by going places because they do sell 7 seater cars, they do sell mini busses. You can buy more tickets into a park. Centre parks for example places like that have sleeping places for 4 children and two adults and probably even more!

The oddness of age gap doesn't matter either. I have the age gap of 7 and 11 years with my sisters.. it really doesn't matter.. as long as you're ready and the youngest will at least be 9 months older if not at least a year as you wouldn't have to catch straight away!

If in your heart you want more children and so does your wife then go for it.

Also if you need new equipment just look out for bargains on the internet loads of products are always on offer or found almost new second hand!

 

[kumber]

I have a 3yo, a 2yo (14 month gap) and am about to pop with #3. I knew after #2 I wasn't finished, and we were keen to have them close together to get all the hard work out the way early.

We're looking forward to the gap, it's already much easier than the 14 month gap as my eldest is a lot more aware and actually helps me out.

Financially it's a challenge, we've had to buy a lot new as things got wrecked in storage and we will also have 3 in nappies, so even on that front it's more expensive than we expected. For days out, we already look for cheap deals and plan well ahead, and we will just plan ahead as to how things get split. If places don't cater for families of 5 then they don't get my service basically!

I agree with the above, if you want another then don't let anything stop you

 

[Juice]

I think if you don't feel "finished" then that is what you should focus on. All the other things will fall into place.

 

[russellmuscle]

I think the most important thing is always not to over analyse. If you both want it Id go for it.

We conceived our second on our eldest boys 3rd birthday, so there is exactly 3y9m to date between them.

I am finished but only for another 3 years.

I dont think theres ever a 'perfect' age gap/time. Kids are always going through a new phase and needing a different kind or amount of support. If you want more go for it.

xxx