2 year old bed time

[Mayflower85]

For various reasons, my daughter and I have never lived with my partner/her dad until now. So for the last 2.5 years she's been used to me doing everything for her - especially bed time.

The three of us have just moved into a new house, baby 2 is due in six weeks, so we're trying to get her used to both of us doing things for her equally.

Tonight Daddy is doing bed time, she's laying in her cot crying and crying for "my mummy, my mummy, my mummy" I know she's fine, daddy is sitting on a chair in her room just like I would, but it's really tugging at my heart strings. Do we just persevere? Do I go up? I've no idea what to do for the best!

 

[KHTW]

My DD will be 2 in a few days and she will only go to her bed when I take her. Hubby can easily put her down for a nap and in fact he does it most days (he looks after her when I am at work) but bed time is mummy time. She will cry even if I say 'daddy will take you'. Honestly. I am not forcing her to go with daddy. She may change her mind eventually.

Maybe do this gradually? You can both go with her at first? Or maybe just give her more time since this areangement is new to her. Toddlers hate change.

Good luck x

 

[candymycandy]

Yeah I agree do it gradually. Maybe start with your usual routine and let him help a bit. Then gradually start giving him more to do in the routine? If she's not used to having him around 24/7 it might be a bit of a change for her so though not ideal with new baby due so soon I think slow changes are best? x

 

[Browneyed Girl]

I agree, 2 year olds can be very stubborn. Maybe give him some key parts of the routine but stay with them e.g. reading a story and snuggling with daddy. If you can be involved until she's more comfortable with him and then do a gradual retreat it'll probably be easier on you all and quicker in the long run. The last thing you want with a new baby coming is your toddler starting to hate bedtime x

 

[kumber]

I agree with the other ladies, take it slow. It's a big change for her and they sfruggle with such changes when theyre so little. Perhaps have daddy in with you to do it together, and graduslly let him take over while you're in the room, and then slowly leave

 

[wahmshie]

You can let her dad join first during her bedtime routine, to establish connection and trust.

 

[Starchild]

Me and other half alternate bed time, one night I read the story, sing her a song, then daddy will go up & say goodnight, next time, daddy reads a story I go up & sing a song & say goodnight. That way we're both involved. She sometimes cried for me to put her to bed but we'd say daddy wants to read you a story then mummy will come up & sing you a song. Now she's 3 she knows who's turn it is to read her story. X

 

[firstfreakout]

I agree with the above. Having this big change of Dad doing some bedtimes all of a sudden has probably made her panic that you won't be doing them in return. I think that having him join you in a few bedtime routines to begin with and then phase yourself out more on the days where he will be taking over will help, as it'll be a gradual thing and help build trust in Dad and trust in you not having disappeared (which I know you haven't, just that she may be fretting that you have). Having you not do a bedtime routine will be a big shock to her system, as she's so used to you being there, so don't let her cry it out or expect her to get used to it so quickly .

Hope she's settled somewhat now for you!