11 years ago today....

[Flips4]

I lost my baby boy at 20+1 feeling mixed emotions today, obviously I have never forgotten but this year feels strangely poignant, maybe because I'm not far off that stage in this pregnancy? I've always felt awful that after the first year and first set of dates, EDD, Christmas etc I have kind of let the date(s) pass like normal days, with very little acknowledgement, once I'd grieved and got through the pain I DID maybe forget a little? I did have moments where I'd think he would be walking or starting school etc etc but i never let myself dwell on it...today just seems different... I feel sad...

 

[kanga86]

what an awful experience to go through. Pregnancy makes u feel things u didn't know would affect u so bad. I don't think u ever fully forget, but u get to cope better day to day without dwelling in what could have been, as we all know that's not healthy. U are entitled to feel as sad as u want as long as u want xx

 

[SunnySue]

Sorry to hear what an awful experience you had
I think it's perfectly natural, not to mention healthy that you have learnt not to dwell on dates every year. Obviously you will always have your little boy in your heart and you will never ever forget him or what happened but sometimes for your own sanity you need to kind of leave some of the grief behind you? That's not to say 'move on' because you never truly do but giving the dates little acknowledgement I think is what you probably needed to do for yourself.
The fact that you are nearing that stage in this pregnancy is bound to trigger certain feelings and memories, let yourself be sad if you need to be hun, dont bottle it up xx

 

[Flips4]

Thank you... your words do mean a lot xxx

 

[babyem]

xxx

 

[Froslass]

I dont think the pain will ever go away fully, and its normal to feel this way
My Nana had a stillbirth 40 years ago, she still feels like this sometimes. She went on to have my aunt and uncle, but still thinks what if?

Thinking of you hun x