Worried about money!

[Penstraze]

I used to work in a nursery just down the road but now work in my husbands family buisness, because I know the staff and especially the manager and that the nursery is a good one I feel confident about putting baby in nursery when the time comes, I wish I could aford to not have too but looks like I will have to go back when baby is 6 months old.
I have just been to see the manager of the nursery about provisionally booking a place and the first month is already booked on the monday so have had to book 4 days that month and full time from then on I would really rather work 3 or even 4 days a week rather then 5 but isn't really an option in my job at the moment. I've just found out the nursery fees have just gone up and I really don't know how we're going to cope I'll be pretty much working to pay nursery fees it will cost more a week in fees then the rent on our house!!

Also I work 8.30am - 5pm the standard nursery day is 8.30-4.30pm or it costs alot more again to do a longer day which I think is too much for a baby, so would have to be late for work and leave early pick baby up for 4.30pm and come back again til 5 (me and husband work together and share a car) and this wont be very pratical for the buisness and would at least mean another drop in pay! My husband is having a go at me how its all just hastle and this was what he was trying to make me see when I wanted to keep it!!! This baby wasn't planed and I have been worried about money from the start but there was no way I was having an abortion, I decided at begining to get to 12 weeks before worrying about money cause at the very begining I was so upset and worried about it but now I'm 16 weeks and no nearer knowing how we're going to cope and now I just feel stressed and working for family is great most the time but have felt under presure from about 7 weeks to make decissions about coming back to work and things which I shouldn't even have to make yet I love working for family but at the moment it feels alot of presure!

Sorry for long rant just needed to get it off my chest! I think alot of it is I just feel this pregnancy is going so quick its starting to feel overwhelming and I'm really worrying about whats going to happen once baby comes and how we're going to cope!

 

[Hazel]

Does your OH work during the day? How about an evening job for you so he can look after LO?

I don't see the point in working full time if it's ALL going to a nursery.

 

[clairedoran]

You may be entitled to working tax credits. I would phone and get some advice, I think they pay quite a large amount towards nursery fees as well, about 70%. People have the wrong conception that tax credits are for very low paid individuals or couples, but you can actually still claim something even on a joint income of £50,000 a year. You should go on the Her Magesty's Customs and Revenue website and see what your entitled to. Good luck xxx

 

[Moofa]

I'm sorry you are feeling like this. Can you not work out using the government tax credit site what child tax and benefits credits you will get, that might help?


http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Mon ... &cre=Money

http://www.taxcredits.inlandrevenue.gov ... edits.aspx

Mx

 

[Penstraze]

We both work in his family buisness if I leave no one can do my job and FIL has even said about shutting the buisness if I'm not going to come back so I feel quite presured (althought its not intentional!) I would happily work evenings or nights if it was needed but don't think OH would be up to looking after LO, I said about perhaps going part time if it was possible with work and OH wasn't happy about it like he felt it would be unfair on him to have to work full time if I wasn't!

 

[Hazel]

How about taking LO to work with you or could you do any part of your job from home with a pc and a telephone?? How long were you planning to take on maternity leave?

 

[clairedoran]

I said about perhaps going part time if it was possible with work and OH wasn't happy about it like he felt it would be unfair on him to have to work full time if I wasn't!

I think your OH will feel differently about this when the baby comes.
He will probably come around to your point and see that 1 day at home
will be beneficial for you and the baby, and will work out the same financially probably xxx

 

[mandspice]

I agree, or if it's that much of an issue for him maybe he could work part time and you full time? If one of you works full time and the other at least 16 hours a week then you'll be entitled to tax credits, providing your joint income is no more than £50,000. You can check this wesbite too, to see what you may be able to claim:

www.entitledto.co.uk

xx

 

[Penstraze]

I tried to work out what Im entitled to and from the calculator Im entitled to no help towards childcare costs cause I am on a good wage now, but with the rediculous childcare fees have worked out if I work full time I wont even take home enough to pay my half of the rent! I could have got it wrong I think I need to make an appointment with citizens advice and see where I really stand but if this is the case working here full time isnt going to be an option anyway which will cause me alot of grief!

If OH was capable and willing to look after baby on his own I could work evenings/weekend/nights and not have to pay childcare so it wouldnt be an issue but I really don't think he will be able to cope - he could suprise me though!

I was planning to work right til the last minute if possible and come back when baby is 6 months old cause didn't think I could aford to take longer but at this rate will be earning more on smp then working full time and paying nursery fees!

What annoys me most is have not been out of a job of some kind or other since I was 13 and it just doesn't pay to work hard its the people that don't that get all the pay outs! Sorry am feeling really stressed and down now! Ive tried so hard to be happy and upbeat so far this pregnancy and not let feeling crap or the sickness get me down and had managed til now but I really thought I'd get help with childcare costs and now I just feel worried and stressed!

 

[clairedoran]

I tried to work out what Im entitled to and from the calculator Im entitled to no help towards childcare costs cause I am on a good wage now, but with the rediculous childcare fees have worked out if I work full time I wont even take home enough to pay my half of the rent! I could have got it wrong I think I need to make an appointment with citizens advice and see where I really stand but if this is the case working here full time isnt going to be an option anyway which will cause me alot of grief!

If OH was capable and willing to look after baby on his own I could work evenings/weekend/nights and not have to pay childcare so it wouldnt be an issue but I really don't think he will be able to cope - he could suprise me though!

I was planning to work right til the last minute if possible and come back when baby is 6 months old cause didn't think I could aford to take longer but at this rate will be earning more on smp then working full time and paying nursery fees!

What annoys me most is have not been out of a job of some kind or other since I was 13 and it just doesn't pay to work hard its the people that don't that get all the pay outs! Sorry am feeling really stressed and down now! Ive tried so hard to be happy and upbeat so far this pregnancy and not let feeling crap or the sickness get me down and had managed til now but I really thought I'd get help with childcare costs and now I just feel worried and stressed!

When I had my daughter I was on my own and fretted through my whole pregnancy about money, but when she was born I coped. I worked out exactly what I was entitled to and I managed. I went back to work 3 days and claimed tax credits, which worked out cheaper than working full time and paying nursery fees. I was lucky as my mum had Rebekah when I was working. I then met my now husband when Rebekah was one, and had to recalcualte everything, but again I still coped. Sometimes sitting and thinking about something is worse than the reality. Thingsd will be ok, you will work out what is best for all of you, even if it's through trial and error. Try not to stress hon xxx

 

[Penstraze]

Thanks for your reply, it has helped to be able to get it off my chest abit at least! It would help so much if had family living near me who could help out alittle with childcare or something but they all live up country so there is no option but putting baby in nursery which is so expensive! I am sure we will manage some how we will have to but I will feel happier if/when know whats definately going to happen and how we will be able to cope!

 

[cinnamon81]

Just wanted to say I'm in a similair situation, have to go back to nurse training when baby will be 6 months old and stressing already about money. OH earns a decent wage, but my bursary won't even cover full-time nursery fees.
I'm in Scotland, don't know if it's the same elsewhere, but registered childminders are loads cheaper up here than private nursery. I know you love the nursery, but they're sooooo expensive!!

Know how you feel about people who do nothing getting everything - i'd have a lot more money coming in if I were single and stayed at home to look after baby, but as well as feeling guilty about leaving a little one I'm going to have to stress about money too

 

[clairedoran]

I'm in Scotland, don't know if it's the same elsewhere, but registered childminders are loads cheaper up here than private nursery. I know you love the nursery, but they're sooooo expensive!!

That's a good idea, they are cheaper. If you can find someone in your local neighbourhood, it's ideal.

xx

 

[Sherlock]

Have you looked into a childminder? I'm sure there are registered ones in your area. Have a look round. Would be cheaper than a nursery.

 

[Mildly]

I hope you get it sorted It is strange when people make assumptions about what you are going to do workwise after the baby comes. My colleagues keep talking about when I come back already, which is odd because I have never said what I intend to do.

I would definitely look into the childminder option and the possibility of working from home. Not trying to be nosey but what kind of a family business is it? Is there a possibility that you could take your LO into work? I know some jobs would not suit this at all but others it might be possible. Especially seeing as you would have you, your DH and his family on hand as caregivers!

It would certainly be worth explaining the situation to your FIL just so he is aware of the expense/difficulty the childcare issue is.

 

[aramintalovegrove]

Gosh I know what you are going through, luckily my friend is a childminder so we are going for that option, but I am crapping myself as we will loose £1200 whilst I am on maternity leave after the 6 week 90% entitlement to wages has gone. We have basically said we will manage to cope, just because thats what you do in these situations, but it doesnt stop the worry.

 

[Sydneysmum]

You might like to have a look at these websites:

http://www.childcarelink.gov.uk/

http://www.ncma.org.uk/

I'm a registered childminder and we are more often than not much cheaper than nurseries but also have the advantage of offering childcare in a home based setting which means children have more one-to-one attention, a family environment and more opportunties to go out (the library, the shops, feeding the ducks etc.) I know you have your heart set on the nursery but maybe you could find out a bit more about childminders in your area. We're governed by the same regulations for care, welfare and developmental support as nurseries and most of us work within local childminding groups. I didn't know about childminders when my boy was a baby but if I did I would have sent him to one. They will also, more likely than not, be a bit more flexible about hours - I have children from 7am some mornings! The youngest member of my group is 18 months old (she's been with me since she was 6 months) and the oldest is 11 years so there's a lovely mix of ages and personalities.

With regard to paying the bills, may I respectfully comment that when you have a child with someone, you can no longer view bills as been halved between you, they are shared expenses and you deserve some support as your child's mother. I realise that the baby wasn't planned but 'getting rid of it' is obviously not an option for some people and a very difficult decision for others.

Try not to make any hard and fast decisions about going back to work until you've had the baby. Both you and your OH may feel differently then.

Good luck

 

[Penstraze]

Thanks everyone! I am actually a trained childcarer and could become a childminder myself which I would do before sending my child to a childminder, I like that in a nursery other people are around and there is less chance of any problems (was trying to think of nicest way to put it!) I mean no disrespect to any of you who are childminders I am sure you are wonderful childminders but there are some unscrupulous people out there who occassionally slip through the net. I promise you I don't have anything against childminders and think the majority do an amazing job, I am personally put off of childminding myself as it really concerns me that its so easy for someone to blame you of harming a child when you didn't do it and being unable to prove your innocence.

For those of you who are childminders/nannies is there any way to protect yourself from this? I know theres insurance, but is that enough if the situation was god forbid to arrise?

 

[fuffins1981]

When i had my son (seem to start all my posts that way lol), tax credits had been in a couple of years maybe. Or the year before.

Anyway, I worked full time and was going back part time. Part time made a lot more sense, as tex credits topped up my wages, cut the amount of tax I pay and paid 70% of the nursery fees.

I think you should phone the tax credits helpline to get the clearest picture.

 

[Penstraze]

I didn't know they had a helpline! Thanks will do that next week!