Why do i keep trying it?

[nori]

A couple of freinds of mine swear by the GF routine and its worked absolutely brilliantly for their little ones. I tried it when Ollie was younger and it didnt work atall as it was hard to stimulate a baby to keep them awake (it wasnt for me). Now Ollie is a bit older my friend said to try it again so here i am typing this when Ollie is sound asleep and yet should be awake!

I'm kind of using it as a guide to help me realise how much sleep babies should have. Im also putting Ollie in his cot for sleeps (not all dark like the book says) and he does seem to settle better than in his moses basket. The bit i find so hard though is the fact it only takes Ollie 5 minutes to finish his bottle so there are massive gaps i have to fill!

I know people are usually against this routine or completely for it. I can see the pros and cons of both and alot i dont like too much. Did anyone do this routine and give up? Also did anyone do it from an early age with bottle feeding rather than breastfeeding.

I dont want to mess about with Ollie too much as hes pretty good at night (only wakes once) I also dont like the fact i have to plan things around the routine.. i want to go to lots of mother and baby classes etc..

Having typed this i kind of realise maybe its not for me!

Claire x

 

[chickadee1976]

n

 

[poppy160]

Every baby is different and not all respond to the same routine, hun IMO, when they're so young I don't think really structured routines work very well (However I've never tried one).

We have a pretty good sleeping routine and have done since Ella was about 4 months old, I just studied her sleeping patterns and went from there. I learned she likes one big nap during the day as opposed to little and often and put her down after her early afternoon bottle, then after lunch when we started weaning. If it's any help, she has been bottlefed since 6 weeks old

Sorry it's not much help! But good luck

 

[Sherlock]

I think the key is if you are not happy with doing it, then its not right for you. I am not a GF fan at all. But I don't read any other parenting books either. I try to have confidence in my parenting abilities and while I may ask advice from people here or friends with children from time to time, I don't always take it. But its different than reading a book telling me what I should be doing when the writer does not know me nor my child nor has s/he heard what my concern/problem is.

Yes GF seems to make some mothers and babies happy and more content. But equally it seems many mothers don't agree or like this approach and therefore don't take her advice. And just because she has sold shedloads of books again does not mean that every book bought by a parent has had success or even been put into effect. I too know a few people who followed GF, but it didn't work for all of them.

I personally don't hold that babies should be put on a schedule from very small and kept to it regardless or with very little flexibility. Also each baby is so vastly different and so is everyones lifestyle and ability to cope also.

As adults our children will spend their lives pretty much adhering to one schedule or other, even as kids once off to school. Early childhood is something I don't think needs a firm timetable. Its about learning to understand my baby, following his lead and going with the flow a bit in the early months. Giving my baby time to adjust to the world and for me to adjust to my baby, my emotions and everything else. Then slowly as I got to know my son I fell into a gentle routine, even if only a loose bedtime one that works for us.

First time Mums can be overwhelmed with info and read books and end up confusing themselves as to what is best. I say trust your instincts and let your child adjust to being in this world in their own time and don't put something on them that you are not totally happy to try 100%

TBH there is no set amount babies should sleep. Nor to be awake. Some babies are quiet, others cry. Some are alert and active, others more content to sit and watch the world go by.

My son has not been an easy baby, far from it, and coupled with all the other things its been a tough 8 months. But we have a great set up now, and yes we have a routine, but its flexible and he adapts easily when there are changes made to our day outside of what he is used to. I could not go with set times for sleeps or keeping him awake. In the first 4 months that would have caused me so much more added stress trying to get him to sleep when he would happily spend 8 hours straight a day wide awake.

I let him find is own natural rhythm and sleep patterns pretty much. We do try some things overnight when he has really restless stages but thats more because of the feeding aspect than anything else. OK, I miss out on some sleep at night, but I'd rather that than have him to sleep/wake/feed/etc at set times in the day. Life is not set in stone and neither is how we live day to day, so I'd rather be totally flexible.

I often think we are becoming so conditioned by books and people telling us how to raise our children that we forget to look to ourselves and to give our children time to adjust into the world.

One size does not fit all. Therefore one way of doing things does not work for all. Babies are unique

 

[Sherlock]

Cor that was a bit epic, sorry for ramble

 

[sarah2807]

I agree with Sherlck on this.
tbh I've tried GF as my friend reccommend the book like your friends and from the first day of trying i knew it wouldn't work for us. I have a baby who sleeps little and often. There's no way she could stay awake for 4 hours and there's certainly no way she'll have a 2 hour daytime nap (I wish!!!) it just makes you feel like you are failing when your not!!!
I know it works for some people and if i does then that's great, but not all babies can adjust to such rountines and it's just stressful trying!!

 

[nori]

it just makes you feel like you are failing when your not!!!
I know it works for some people and if i does then that's great, but not all babies can adjust to such rountines and it's just stressful trying!!

I think you have hit the nail on the head there.. i feel like im doing it all wrong. One minute i think "right.. i will go with the flow" then when Ollie is screaming i think "maybe the routine will work!" I see how its worked for others and i think i should be able to do that! I so need to chill out! I've just been for a massively long walk so hes had one of the sleeps anyway!

Sherlock: I take it you dont want to borrow my book??

Claire x

 

[lea m]

Having typed this i kind of realise maybe its not for me!

Claire x

I totally agree with you there hun! You really dont sound convinced by it so dont do it!
I havent read any of the routine books they have and dont follow any, but its clear that although you might not believe it lol, you are doing whats best for you baby already and he will fall into his own routine!
I didnt read everyone replies lol but Im going to now! Backwards I know but never mind haha

 

[lea m]

After now reading all the replies........ Everything Sherlock said! lol

 

[valentine]

Like others, I am a big fan of everything baby led - I have always followed DD's lead and the result has been a happy contented baby/little girl.

I let her feed and sleep when she wants when she was younger and now with mealtimes, they are rough times, not set - i.e. breakfast can be anytime between 7.30am on a work day to 10am (today!).

The only thing we have always been really strict about is a bedtime routine from 6/7 weeks. We started this and it led to DD sleeping through 12+ hours!

Nappy off time 5.30pm
Bath & baby massage 6pm
Feed, story etc 6.30pm
Bed in moses basket in darkened bedroom (just nightlight/side light on) 7pm

Valentine Xxx

 

[lea m]

Yeh bedtime is the one main routine I helped the children get into! I do believe that a good bedtime routine is best for baby but a full day of routine, when they should be awake and when they should be asleep just sounds quite odd to me and Im glad I never bought/read any of the parenting books?! I think they can cause more confusion for first time mums tbh! Great if you can do it and baby can do it but not so if you cant!?

 

[Magic Monkey]

We have always done everything baby led too, Ella slept when she was tired and ate when she was hungry, now she eats at rough meal times but still sleeps when she is tired. She is a very happy baby, who slept through the night from 9 weeks (except a recent teething related blip!)

I hate to see people with small crying babies, saying she/he can't be hungry they aren't due their bottle for another hour! If they are hungry feed them!

We have a bedtime routine, of bath, quiet play/story, bottle on our bed in a dark room, teeth brush and into cot, but the timings of this vary according to where we are and what we are doing.

Ella's 'routine' fits around what we are doing each day e.g. on the days that I work she eats tea later and goes to bed later, because I am not home to do these things until later, also if we go to a group, she sleeps before/after it.

 

[xmcnickyx]

I couldn't agree more with what everyone has said!

I think kids need routine but little babies just don't (and shouldn't have to) stick to our rules! I can't sleep if I'm not tired so I don't expect Molly to.

I think these routines work more for the parents than they do the kids. Molly only seems to have little 10 minute power naps during the day and sleeps more in the evening but she used to have long day time naps and sleep less in the evening. I've not done anything to make her sleep, she's just done it herself which I'm happy with.

I can see why you would want to get Ollie into a routine, especially if he's got colic since it must feel like everything is chaotic at the moment but he'll sort himself out.

I say tell the people with the Gina Ford books that you don't need some woman to tell you how to raise your kids - you know what to do yourself!

 

[Steelgoddess]

I have only skimmed the proceeding info.

I think babies from birth-3months or so are very erratic, especially feeding and sleeping...

From about 3 months I found Hayden was more able to follow a routine but it was nothing to do with me really, like Valentine said I went with baby, I started monitoring his naps and when he fed well and I went with that so now his naptimes and bedtime is almost clockwork because I pay attension to when he seemed sleepy during the day, with hunger it really did vary from about as little as 2 hours til 4hours but that was rare, its only now he is having more and going longer between feeds so I try to encourage what he does...

Just remember your baby will fall into a routine of his own, they just do, try to ENCOURAGE THAT along with encouraging and establishing good habits, no harm in that