I was researching door baby bouncers as I think my daughter might like one, and came across this product review from a Mum - I hadnt laughed so much in ages:
Sorry, a bit long but could not resist - hope it gives you a giggle too!
Why dangle your child from a door?Why?
by Celandine - written on 27.04.01 - Rating: (1 of 5 possible stars)
Advantages It amuses the cat
Disadvantages please see opinion
I have a happy cat. It is watching my baby, as she dangles enticingly from the kitchen door frame. My thoughts start wandering at this point as to whether I could build a harness for the cat, and suspend it from the door frame, thus affording my baby the hours of amusement she, apparently, is providing for the cat. Reality strikes. I'd be reported to the RSPCA: "Woman in Feline Bouncer Scandal". So why on earth am I encouraging my precious infant to behave like an oversized yoyo?
I have no particular gripe with the Tippitoes bouncer per se. It's just that I'd love to know just who came up with the notion that to suspend our children on long pieces of elastic from the ceiling was a Good Thing. I think it may have been the idea of a particularly spiteful 5 year old who simply hated his younger sibling. That, or someone was researching the Spanish Inquisition and needed some extra cash.
When you purchase a Tippitoes baby bouncer you are issued with a useful instruction manual. This starts by telling you to measure your doorframes. Yes, up and down the country , mothers-to-be are at this moment carefully standing on chairs measuring the width of their architraves. If you don't have the right sort of doorframe, you can send off for a large meat-hook type thing to attach to the ceiling, thus ensuring you funny looks from visitors for many years to come.
Assuming you have the correct width of door frame, you clip on to it a huge metal spring thingy, to which is attached
a large piece of elastic, and another dirty great metal clip. Super. That bit was easy.
Now for the interesting bit. You are provided with a nice bright parachute harness, that you undo and place baby in, being careful to place baby centrally in the harness, otherwise the eventual bouncing will be carried out with a slight list, which may propel baby into the door frame. If baby wiggles, this is difficult. You then faff around a bit w ith the shoulder straps. You then...and now we come to the really fun bit.... clip the shoulder straps on to either end of a horizontal foot-long metal pole. I'm sorry. This is just plain weird.
Gingerly, you pick up the foot long metal pole, and holding baby before you in the manner of a tightrope walker carrying a trussed chicken, you clip the pole on to the piece of elastic. If you have a baby of a particularly timorous nature, your progress may be further impeded by his/her efforts to cling to your legs during the walk to the doorframe.
Assuming that by this point, baby hasn't decided that it wants a feed/nappy change/cuddle, you adjust the clips on the webbing so baby is positioned at exactly the right height to bounce.
Brilliant! baby can now bounce. That is, if baby wants to bounce. Mine didn't. Mine wanted to propel herself as far as possible either side of the door frame. She achieved quite alarming trajectories on a good day.
"BOUNCER MUST NOT BE USED AS SWING"
That is what the manual said. How do you explain this to a six month old - particularly when what she's doing looks a lot more fun that the gentle up-down movement recommended. What you do, or at least what I did, is Hover, occasionally seizing baby by its ankles, and singing: "boiing....boiing" in an encouraging, and possibly slightly insane fashion. I don't want to spend my day doing this, I really don't. The neighbours think I'm weird enough as it is.
I have a theory. Yes, babies like bouncing, but they like to bounce in the safe, loving embrace of a pair of arms - not attached randomly to a ceiling. I know that lots of people find bouncers really useful, and that lots of babies really enjoy being in one. I know that bouncing a heavy baby makes your arms ache. But I found putting a baby in a bouncer made my arms ache more. Honest.
We've found a better solution, anyway. I take her, come rain or shine, to the swings in the local park. The cat? Well, it just has to make do with Teletubbies.
Sorry, a bit long but could not resist
Lisa
Sorry, a bit long but could not resist - hope it gives you a giggle too!
Why dangle your child from a door?Why?
by Celandine - written on 27.04.01 - Rating: (1 of 5 possible stars)
Advantages It amuses the cat
Disadvantages please see opinion
I have a happy cat. It is watching my baby, as she dangles enticingly from the kitchen door frame. My thoughts start wandering at this point as to whether I could build a harness for the cat, and suspend it from the door frame, thus affording my baby the hours of amusement she, apparently, is providing for the cat. Reality strikes. I'd be reported to the RSPCA: "Woman in Feline Bouncer Scandal". So why on earth am I encouraging my precious infant to behave like an oversized yoyo?
I have no particular gripe with the Tippitoes bouncer per se. It's just that I'd love to know just who came up with the notion that to suspend our children on long pieces of elastic from the ceiling was a Good Thing. I think it may have been the idea of a particularly spiteful 5 year old who simply hated his younger sibling. That, or someone was researching the Spanish Inquisition and needed some extra cash.
When you purchase a Tippitoes baby bouncer you are issued with a useful instruction manual. This starts by telling you to measure your doorframes. Yes, up and down the country , mothers-to-be are at this moment carefully standing on chairs measuring the width of their architraves. If you don't have the right sort of doorframe, you can send off for a large meat-hook type thing to attach to the ceiling, thus ensuring you funny looks from visitors for many years to come.
Assuming you have the correct width of door frame, you clip on to it a huge metal spring thingy, to which is attached
a large piece of elastic, and another dirty great metal clip. Super. That bit was easy.
Now for the interesting bit. You are provided with a nice bright parachute harness, that you undo and place baby in, being careful to place baby centrally in the harness, otherwise the eventual bouncing will be carried out with a slight list, which may propel baby into the door frame. If baby wiggles, this is difficult. You then faff around a bit w ith the shoulder straps. You then...and now we come to the really fun bit.... clip the shoulder straps on to either end of a horizontal foot-long metal pole. I'm sorry. This is just plain weird.
Gingerly, you pick up the foot long metal pole, and holding baby before you in the manner of a tightrope walker carrying a trussed chicken, you clip the pole on to the piece of elastic. If you have a baby of a particularly timorous nature, your progress may be further impeded by his/her efforts to cling to your legs during the walk to the doorframe.
Assuming that by this point, baby hasn't decided that it wants a feed/nappy change/cuddle, you adjust the clips on the webbing so baby is positioned at exactly the right height to bounce.
Brilliant! baby can now bounce. That is, if baby wants to bounce. Mine didn't. Mine wanted to propel herself as far as possible either side of the door frame. She achieved quite alarming trajectories on a good day.
"BOUNCER MUST NOT BE USED AS SWING"
That is what the manual said. How do you explain this to a six month old - particularly when what she's doing looks a lot more fun that the gentle up-down movement recommended. What you do, or at least what I did, is Hover, occasionally seizing baby by its ankles, and singing: "boiing....boiing" in an encouraging, and possibly slightly insane fashion. I don't want to spend my day doing this, I really don't. The neighbours think I'm weird enough as it is.
I have a theory. Yes, babies like bouncing, but they like to bounce in the safe, loving embrace of a pair of arms - not attached randomly to a ceiling. I know that lots of people find bouncers really useful, and that lots of babies really enjoy being in one. I know that bouncing a heavy baby makes your arms ache. But I found putting a baby in a bouncer made my arms ache more. Honest.
We've found a better solution, anyway. I take her, come rain or shine, to the swings in the local park. The cat? Well, it just has to make do with Teletubbies.
Sorry, a bit long but could not resist
Lisa
