Where has the sex gone ? :'(

[charlotteheys85]

Me and OH dont seem to be enjoying eachother anymore ;'(

he said:- I'm frightend of hurting you or junior??

i've tried expalinin it to him, and that i need sex/cuddles expecially when i'm feeling fat etc, i do my hair and make up, and try to be sexy (hehe) and still nothing..

we've started to argue over this now, as its really affecting my confidence..

any advice :'( xx

 

[kerrymac]

I am totally with you on this,and can completely sympathise with you. My OH is exactly the same, so Im afraid I have no advice, but I would also like some.
It has actually started to make me feel as though he doesnt find me attractive anymore and it hurts, especially when your hormones are running riot, he used to be so touchy feely, and now there is nothing!!

 

[Laura_James&Amber]

sorry no advice as I'm with you girls, my OH is exactly the same. For the first time since getting pregnant I've felt like sex the past few days but OH won't because of baby

 

[charlotteheys85]

I am totally with you on this,and can completely sympathise with you. My OH is exactly the same, so Im afraid I have no advice, but I would also like some.
It has actually started to make me feel as though he doesnt find me attractive anymore and it hurts, especially when your hormones are running riot, he used to be so touchy feely, and now there is nothing!!

I'm exactly the same.
Its so hard to feel attractive isnt it? and they make it worse..
i honestly think its just there way of pretecting there unborn.. they seem to think they'll do us damage or something.. But even the kissing and cuddlin has gone? maybe they think this has to lead to sex or something?

i know i cant talk, but try not to let it upset you too much, and we can just sit and hope it doesnt last the while 40weeks.. :'( or atleast get better once bubs is born..

I trust my OH, but it makes me feel if he doesnt want it from me, then is it just me etc.. i know he wouldnt do anythin, but silly head full of hormes makes you think the worst!?!

hope your ok chick xxx

 

[nori]

Im the opposite to you girls. OH wants it and i just cant be bothered!!

Claire x

 

[lea m]

My OH is the same too!
Though this is weird as he has had other children and it never bothered him then!?
So this makes me feel even more so unattractive etc!
I just dont know whats wrong with him? I mean he is a different person now to who he was when we had the the others so maybe it is?

 

[Julia]

This is very raw for me...

Throughout my pregnancy with my little girl, DH did not come near me. This went on for up to nine months AFTER I had given birth to her!

We managed to talk about it on several occasions and he said that the birth had affected him and he saw my body as the baby's. We nearly split up over it to be honest.

Other people could not believe it - I had got my figure back, my energy levels were fine, I always made such a big effort with my appearance. When I went out, i was chatted up alot (like before I had my little girl) but still no action with DH!

Then, all of a sudden, when I did not give off the "desperation" vibes, things got better by themselves. Even though not regular, the sex slowly started happening again and I asked no questions... He came onto me quite regularly and sometimes it was me saying "no" for a change which he said made him want me more!!

I am now pregnant with my second and the sex has gone again..BUT talking to the midwife and friends, this is very common during pregnancy. We have talked about it and DH says that it will not be the same after I have given birth this time - things should get back to normal.

I hope so.....will wait and see...


Julia xxxxxx

 

[xmcnickyx]

he said that the birth had affected him and he saw my body as the baby's. We nearly split up over it to be honest.

I think this makes a lot of sense.

Our sexlife hasn't changed that much but I can tell that my husband isn't all that comfortable with some things now. I have really sore nipples and I can tell that hes thinking 'Milk will come out of these soon!' and I can understand that that would freak a man out a bit. For the first time today when we were doing it my husband said 'I feel like I'm squishing Whitey'.

I can understand it must be hard if you have low confidence but I think some men probably see their partners differently when they're pregnant. Especially, I think, if it's your first.

 

[charlotteheys85]

Yeh i understand where the men are coming from in that sense...

but even the cuddles have gone?




i'm going to give it one last try, and if it doesnt work, then i give up lol... xxx

 

[kerrymac]

I am totally with you on this,and can completely sympathise with you. My OH is exactly the same, so Im afraid I have no advice, but I would also like some.
It has actually started to make me feel as though he doesnt find me attractive anymore and it hurts, especially when your hormones are running riot, he used to be so touchy feely, and now there is nothing!!

I'm exactly the same.
Its so hard to feel attractive isnt it? and they make it worse..
i honestly think its just there way of pretecting there unborn.. they seem to think they'll do us damage or something.. But even the kissing and cuddlin has gone? maybe they think this has to lead to sex or something?

i know i cant talk, but try not to let it upset you too much, and we can just sit and hope it doesnt last the while 40weeks.. :'( or atleast get better once bubs is born..

I trust my OH, but it makes me feel if he doesnt want it from me, then is it just me etc.. i know he wouldnt do anythin, but silly head full of hormes makes you think the worst!?!

hope your ok chick xxx

Im with you totally. i have even been dreaming of him cheating on me, but I trust him 100%, like you said its the hormones.
Im finding it hard, but hopefully it wont last, i hope it gets better for you hun too!! xxxx

 

[Jimmer]

As a resident male on this forum, I wish I could give you all an answer that just makes you go 'Oooooh, I see'.
But no luck I am afraid.
I think part of the problem is that a lot of what goes on in pregnancy makes it all seem rather 'fragile' and the thought that anything we do might cause things to go wrong is always present. It is odd because on the one hand I actually find the whole pregnancy thing with my wife rather a turn-on in some ways but there was for a bit, a thought in the back of my head that ran through a list of all the things that can make things go wrong, and the WORST thing a guy can do is to start all those thoughts because then they just spiral round and round, until any 'performance' is impossibe!

I suppose I would say try not to make any sort of pressure out of it - there are other things you can do that will be as intimate and enjoyable... and who knows that might lead to a natural conclusion without meaning to get there, if you get my meaning!!!
Jimmer

 

[samijo1986]

I am exactly the same as you guys and yes ive had the occasional dream about him with his ex or sum other girl.
I am now starting to dream about good looking footballers scooping me up after a game! lol how sad, but the reality is these men might not have a problem but they should really realise that we do and it effects our everyday tasks etc.
For me i want that comfort to feel like im needed and wanted at home not just to be a mother xxxx

 

[babydust]

my dh is the complete opposite, i am the one that doesnt want to do anything, i need all my energy for getting through the day until bedtime then when its bedtime i just want to sleep. so sorry i dont have any advice but maybe try other ways rather than sex or even just try and spend some nice time with each other, i know for me and dh all we have talked about these past few weeks is pregnancy and the baby so it might be nice just to do something together like putting candles on and watching a dvd or asking dh to give you a massage

 

[emmie]

my dh is the complete opposite, i am the one that doesnt want to do anything, i need all my energy for getting through the day until bedtime then when its bedtime i just want to sleep. so sorry i dont have any advice but maybe try other ways rather than sex or even just try and spend some nice time with each other, i know for me and dh all we have talked about these past few weeks is pregnancy and the baby so it might be nice just to do something together like putting candles on and watching a dvd or asking dh to give you a massage

This is exactlly the same as my my hubby wants it but i dont feel like it, since i found out i was pregnant at 8 weeks we have had sex once

I am really going to start making an effort though and get myself sexed up lol

I wish i had these horny days like some pregnant women do, for my husband not me.

 

[-lisa-]

Ive been told 'no intercourse' incase of knocking the placenta. Possibly tmi and it doesnt seem to be bothering hubby in the least which has made me feel quite unwanted too I had a dream the other night that he was having an affair with this old dear aged 80!!! Dyou think this classes as totally paranoid

 

[mibiuk]

hi

I have had both sides of this.. when pregnant with my son my husband was not anti sex but was alot more careful and at the end in the last 6 weeks of my pregnacy wanted no part of me even though i told him it could help bring on labour but no wouldn't go there..

This time we have been careful until past 12 weeks (more due to our pregnancy history) but since then our sex life if anything has improved.. but time will tell i dare say we will have a repeat performance from about 34 weeks but tbh i am happy with that if it makes him comfortable with the pregnancy

Its not unusual for either partner to go off sex during pregnancy and even after it.

Anyway take care
Kathy x