When to see doctor?

[Pinkz]

Hi

I've been keeping away from here for a bit as I'm trying not to obsess about conceiving as it just affects me too much after my miscarriage BUT January will mark 12 months since we started trying. I just wonder if any of you knew if my miscarriage in July would mean the doctor would count 12 month since then? Or would it still be from January? Would the fact the baby was of unknown location affect this too?

My GP is amazing but it's hard just to ask 1 question like this without booking an appointment and I don't really want to waste their time (or mine) if they are just going to say come back in July...

 

[Alexis2017]

I am sure it counts from when you started trying as when I went to my 1st infertility appt they asked me if i had ever been pregnant. I got refered about 10 months trc as told a white lie but didnt bave my appt till November which was 11 months ttc..and ny hsg test isn't till January so glad I went a bit earliet. January marks 13 months for us. It's hard not to let it consume your life when it is a huge part of what you want for it.

Sending you hugs and get that gp to refer you on (if thts what you want)

 

[Pinkz]

Thanks. I think they will push back and tell me to lose weight tbh. Right now it's Christmas though so will focus on the diet next year... I know losing weight can rapidly increase your fertility but even if there's anything they can do just to settle our minds. My periods are regular and my ovulation tests fall in line with my app Predicting them so all signs are that I ovulate. It's just such a stressful time when you can't make plans for friends weddings as they are over 9 months away, and you don't want to get that new car you desperately want because you might need the cash to supplement your maternity leave.

Just feel like life is on hold. Least I can drink over christmas I suppose lol

 

[MoominGirl]

I'm trying as much as possible not to put life on hold any more. It's hard but it is helping me not to be consumed by the whole thing quite as much. I have no experience of miscarriage but I would hope that if your GP is good, they'd at least be happy to arrange basic tests if that's what you want. I'm thinking of things like hormone levels for you and sperm analysis for him. I was also able to get a vaginal ultrasound through the GP but that seems to vary depending on area. I'm sorry it's been tough for you.

 

[Pinkz]

I had 2 vaginal ultrasounds with the miscarriage and asked the 2nd time about any cysts or abnormalities. They looked at me like I was a bit mad but said everything was absolutely fine. Also my smear came back fine which I wasn't expecting at all. Never NOT been called back in my life.

I know what you're saying about not putting life on hold but some things are just impossible like my friends wedding or a new car. They are both financially big things that would wipe out my savings or at least make a huge dent so unfortunately I have to park them for the time being to save some more

 

[Sunflower1]

I wouldn't worry about wasting your GP's time - this is your fertility and trying to start a family: it's not a matter of wasting anyone's time. It's important. Yes they'll probably go on about weight but the NHS will treat anyone up to a BMI of about 30 so if you are eligible for help by fertility services then it's worth getting on a waiting list as it takes about 3 months to get an appointment. But only your GP will know whether you qualify for a referral or whether you need to keep trying on your own.

 

[Pinkz]

I'm over that again at the moment unfortunately. After the miscarriage I just lost all confidence and ability to eat well lol... but once Christmas is out of the way and I can bin off these extra party calories it's straight back on it

 

[MoominGirl]

It's annoying that you have to hold back on certain things. We're generally working to a 6 month rule for booking ahead unless it's something we can afford to lose. If we're booking further ahead than that then we're just making sure things are refundable. Cars and things are a much bigger commitment though We're trying to find a balance between saving for the future we hope to have one day and enjoying the life we have together now. It is hard.

I'm glad the ultrasounds were normal. I second what Sunflower said about seeing the GP. If you want further investigations and you're entitled to NHS treatment then you shouldn't worry about wasting their time. You will need to wait long enough for appointments so best to get the ball rolling if that's what you want.

 

[Pinkz]

If he's under the bmi will they test him or does it have to be us both.

I've said if I'm not pregnant by x I will book up but when it was booked I had to say no. Car wise I'm just gonna have to wait. My car is costing me nothing at the moment so long may that continue. Will have to just make a call if anything goes wrong. Just wish it would happen

 

[Sunflower1]

You can have GP tests whatever your weight and so can your OH (ovulation blood test, sperm test). But the fertility dept at a hospital have weight restrictions and they seem to like to see/treat a couple together.

I had to lose a lot of weight before TTC (9 stone). It's doable.

 

[Pinkz]

Yea I lost a fair bit but like I said it's been a bit on the back burner since I lost the baby. Been focusing on my mental health more than physical put it that way lol

Good to know I can still ask for tests though. Will have a look for an appointment end of Jan. See what they can do and gives us 1 last shot.

 

[Sunflower1]

Yea I lost a fair bit but like I said it's been a bit on the back burner since I lost the baby. Been focusing on my mental health more than physical put it that way lol

Good to know I can still ask for tests though. Will have a look for an appointment end of Jan. See what they can do and gives us 1 last shot.

Absolutely, so important to look after yourself. So sorry you lost the baby. Even just letting your doctor know what's going on is a good idea...they can do blood tests to check your general health and iron levels etc too.

 

[Sugarpop]

I had 2 vaginal ultrasounds with the miscarriage and asked the 2nd time about any cysts or abnormalities. They looked at me like I was a bit mad but said everything was absolutely fine. Also my smear came back fine which I wasn't expecting at all. Never NOT been called back in my life.

I know what you're saying about not putting life on hold but some things are just impossible like my friends wedding or a new car. They are both financially big things that would wipe out my savings or at least make a huge dent so unfortunately I have to park them for the time being to save some more

I understand where your coming from. However, I’ve been trying for over 5 years and I can’t tell you how much I regret because of a ‘what if’. You can’t live your life On a what if because you will miss out on so much.

We recently bought hubby a new car which is quite expensive. Will it make things tighter if we do have a baby? Yes, IF we have a baby. I have thought about so many if’s I’ve come to realise that there is no planning to have a baby. You need to live your life and if a baby comes along then deal with it then.

 

[MoominGirl]

I had 2 vaginal ultrasounds with the miscarriage and asked the 2nd time about any cysts or abnormalities. They looked at me like I was a bit mad but said everything was absolutely fine. Also my smear came back fine which I wasn't expecting at all. Never NOT been called back in my life.

I know what you're saying about not putting life on hold but some things are just impossible like my friends wedding or a new car. They are both financially big things that would wipe out my savings or at least make a huge dent so unfortunately I have to park them for the time being to save some more

I understand where your coming from. However, I’ve been trying for over 5 years and I can’t tell you how much I regret because of a ‘what if’. You can’t live your life On a what if because you will miss out on so much.

We recently bought hubby a new car which is quite expensive. Will it make things tighter if we do have a baby? Yes, IF we have a baby. I have thought about so many if’s I’ve come to realise that there is no planning to have a baby. You need to live your life and if a baby comes along then deal with it then.

We are now reaching 3 years without contraception and my view for our own situation is now more like yours whereas even a year ago I was more like 'better not book that in case I'm pregnant'. I don't want to look back on all this and regret what I've missed out on especially if I don't end up with a baby at the end of it. We have decided we need to focus on enjoying life together now and deal with life as it happens. I think that changed for me once I realised we were in this for the long haul.

 

[Pinkz]

I had 2 vaginal ultrasounds with the miscarriage and asked the 2nd time about any cysts or abnormalities. They looked at me like I was a bit mad but said everything was absolutely fine. Also my smear came back fine which I wasn't expecting at all. Never NOT been called back in my life.

I know what you're saying about not putting life on hold but some things are just impossible like my friends wedding or a new car. They are both financially big things that would wipe out my savings or at least make a huge dent so unfortunately I have to park them for the time being to save some more

I understand where your coming from. However, I’ve been trying for over 5 years and I can’t tell you how much I regret because of a ‘what if’. You can’t live your life On a what if because you will miss out on so much.

We recently bought hubby a new car which is quite expensive. Will it make things tighter if we do have a baby? Yes, IF we have a baby. I have thought about so many if’s I’ve come to realise that there is no planning to have a baby. You need to live your life and if a baby comes along then deal with it then.

I totally get what you're saying. My compromise on putting things on hold is not to say I'm NOT getting a new car. Just not getting one yet... going to try and save some more up for it so it's not as much of an outlay. I don't REALLY need one at the moment. Just my car is getting old and it's tiny so can be a pain. Also only 4 seats and 3 doors makes it a logistical nightmare sometimes lol. With being the main earner in the house it just makes me worry if we did have a baby how much debt we would have such as car finance. So if I can go another 6 month or more maybe that would be ideal.

We have booked a holiday. Its only in the UK but it's in June so that's looking ahead for me isn't it! Hehe and I've also applied for a new job which is more money and could help with the car bit above...

Let's see what 2018 brings. Still going to see doctor and see what they say. Diet starts again after the holidays so onwards and upwards.

 

[MoominGirl]

I had 2 vaginal ultrasounds with the miscarriage and asked the 2nd time about any cysts or abnormalities. They looked at me like I was a bit mad but said everything was absolutely fine. Also my smear came back fine which I wasn't expecting at all. Never NOT been called back in my life.

I know what you're saying about not putting life on hold but some things are just impossible like my friends wedding or a new car. They are both financially big things that would wipe out my savings or at least make a huge dent so unfortunately I have to park them for the time being to save some more

I understand where your coming from. However, I’ve been trying for over 5 years and I can’t tell you how much I regret because of a ‘what if’. You can’t live your life On a what if because you will miss out on so much.

We recently bought hubby a new car which is quite expensive. Will it make things tighter if we do have a baby? Yes, IF we have a baby. I have thought about so many if’s I’ve come to realise that there is no planning to have a baby. You need to live your life and if a baby comes along then deal with it then.

I totally get what you're saying. My compromise on putting things on hold is not to say I'm NOT getting a new car. Just not getting one yet... going to try and save some more up for it so it's not as much of an outlay. I don't REALLY need one at the moment. Just my car is getting old and it's tiny so can be a pain. Also only 4 seats and 3 doors makes it a logistical nightmare sometimes lol. With being the main earner in the house it just makes me worry if we did have a baby how much debt we would have such as car finance. So if I can go another 6 month or more maybe that would be ideal.

We have booked a holiday. Its only in the UK but it's in June so that's looking ahead for me isn't it! Hehe and I've also applied for a new job which is more money and could help with the car bit above...

Let's see what 2018 brings. Still going to see doctor and see what they say. Diet starts again after the holidays so onwards and upwards.

That sounds like a good compromise. Obviously you know your own situation best but it's good you've got a balance and things to look forward to. Good luck with everything.