what to do??? -warning, long and boring

[Suzie and Faith]

warning- long and boring but i needed to write it out!

I'm a bit stuck and it's driving me CRAZY!

Me, Matt (OH) and Faith currently live with my mum and my 15 year old brother in a small 3 bedroom terrace (my brother's room is teeny).

Matt is training to be an electrician but apprenticeships round here are nearly impossible to find and so he has been doing one day at college and working a 35 hour week doing two different bar jobs - fine BUT that means we ave very little money, I'm on MA which isn't much either.

We have looked at our money over and over and if we take into account the tax credits we will get soon then we can just, just, afford to move out. But it'll be VERY tight.

We've looked at some houses and Matt fell in love with one of the houses, which is rather nice and a bit of a bargain - it's a 3 bed terrace with 2 reception rooms, separate dining room, big kitchen, a garden and in a nice area. The bedrooms are all really big and it's nicely done out. I like the house too. It's the same price as some teeny 2 bed places we've looked at.

Matt wants to apply for it asap as it's new to the market and there has been a lot of interest in it. I'm not sure though as I HATE the idea of having barely any money. It'd be fine if we could guarantee that Matt will get a better job soon.

We also have barely any house stuff - we need an oven, washing machine, tumbler, plus all the other bits! We can afford a few of these (maybe) and Matt's mum has said she might be able to help by getting us a fridge freezer).

My other problem is leaving my mum. My dad left when I was 6 and my brother was only 1. I instantly became my mum's confidant and all the way through my life she's been my best friend and i've been the one she's turned to and talked to. I'm one of 5 kids but the other 3 are older and live away and have their own houses and kids and so it was always me there for her. My brother is a typical teenage boy and he communicates in grunts - mum would be very lonely without me, Matt and Faith. I know I can't stay with her forever but I feel SO bad about leaving her. She came to see the house (twice) and I mentioned about the 3rd room and how we'd have a bed in it so she could stay when she wanted and I talked about her staying over xmas eve and things and made sure she knew she'd always be welcome.

I wish that mum's house was bigger.

Arg, I really don't know what to do or what I think or anything. I'm constantly thinking about it and coming to no clear conclusions. I have until Monday to make a decision on the house...

HELP

 

[1sttimemum]

i say go for it, like you say there us a spare bedroom, your only a telephone call away! you need to be ale to live your life with your family (matt & faith)

Hope you get sorted

 

[Hazel]

Are you buying or renting?

 

[daftscotslass]

Have you spoken to her about it? If you're very close to her I would sit down and have a chat to her about how you feel. I'm sure that she would hate to think she is holding you back from this house (which sounds too amazing to pass up!).

I think talk to her and go for it, I'm positive she'll support you every step of the way. She won't be far away and you could take it in turns to visit one another!

 

[Babylicious]

you could always look on freecycle for stuff to

 

[mary70]

hi hun i would go for it, me and my mum are best friend and i stayed at home till kie was 12 because of money problems and our relationship strated to suffer, i was so upset when i moved and the first 6 months were really hard but its the best thing i did as we are best of friends and a enjoy spending time together now we are not living on top of one another and like the other lady said freecycle is brill to get u started and then relace as you can afford it

 

[Princess_Puddles]

To be honest the house sounds fantastic but if its going to be very tight with money then I wouldn't go for it.

 

[Tadpole]

I'm sure your mum would agree that she will be fine.

And it is a funny thing about moving - as soon as you say you are everybody suddenly starts offering you stuff. it is amazing what people keep, charity shops and freecycle are fab. Also - I don't know if there is a scheme near you - but we have a Refurnish place that sells on household goods very inexpensively.

I know money is always a worry but sometimes you never really know how you are going to manage till you have to. IYKWIM. It's like having a baby - if you sit down and work out what it actually costs to have a child nobody would ever think they could afford to. But we do.

Good luck sweetie.
xxx

 

[Suzie and Faith]

warning- long and boring but i needed to write it out!

you sold it to me ...jus couldnt resist a read

Thanks guys I think we will go for it and put in our application on Monday. My mum has says how lovely the place is. She feels a bit mixed about it all. She said she feels like she is losing her significant other! But she wants me to be happy and to be settled and she has been talking about when she can visit and how she can come round in the evenings when Matt's working and stuff.

On the money front it will be tight but when we budgeted we ignore my MA as we know that will stop at some point. But we could dip into that as hopefully OH will have a better paid job soon!

We do have a shop that sells 2nd hand furniture and appliances which we can get some stuff from. And we've been offered a 3 piece suite! AHHH it's so scary and exciting!

 

[MrsBrightside]

I was very very close to my mam and even tho I didnt live with her anymore I used to see her about twice a day... when I met Lee I had to make the choice to move in with him or not as he lives 40 miles away and it meant not seeing my mam everyday like we were used to. It wasn't easy to do but I had to live my life!! I see my mam when I can and we still have a very close relationship with her!!!

I say go for it darling, you cant live your life for others and your mam can still come and visit etc

Its amazing how ya mange on very little money I did and found it fun in a weird way when i used to go hunting for bargains

 

[JoAnn&Aimee]

Personally I would go for it. I am sure your mum will support your decision. It can be daunting moving out. My mum and I aren't exactly close but we did everything together. When I moved out I was scared I wouldn't see her often but I can't get rid of her most days!

Like you said with a spare room she can stay over every so often so it isn't like you will never see her again!

Good luck!

 

[clarey]

Go for it hun, make a life for your little family, your Mum loves you and would probably hate to think you were holding back for her, it wont change your relationship with her - I moved nearly 300 miles away for my OH and if anything the time I spend with my Mum is better as its proper quality time (I do wish she was a bit nearer now Eva is here though!)
As for the money thing I think you live to whatever budget you have, if you have more you just end up spending more!
Good luck!!!