What do you do with your LOs all day?

[Louise2013]

Hey Ladies,
My LO is nine months and I wondered what you do with your babies in the daytime. I don't get out as much as I feel we should; I have been trying to get him back into a decent sleep routine which has been all over the place since 8mos sleep regression kicked in, so I am presently avoiding taking him out in the pram anywhere far as it makes him fall asleep and his naps are all out of sync then, which always means a rough night. Anyway, so I am spending a lot of time with him at home, which is actually a long day to entertain a little one and I worry I am being somehow neglectful. We split time at home between playing together and him doing independent play. Playtime is very basic, as I guess it would be at this age, but I worry the same thing every day is somehow not good for him. We are trying to save for a house move and all the local activities are pretty expensive where we are so we try to do a trip to soft play one afternoon, meeting up eith other babies/friends once a week and maybe one other activity which would vary (sing time grouo or similar etc.) but this is no always consistent and I feel a bit out of my depth at the moment in the sense that I don't know If I am doing enough to nurture him/help him learn. I worry we don't spend enough time with other babies, although he will start nursery next month, and he is exceptionally chlled and sociable, but what else would you recommend I do? I really feel independant play is important, but I always feel so horribly guilty watching him play on his own. We have anther baby on the way now so fingers crossed he'll have a playmate soon enough but what else should I be doing?

Sorry if this sounds like a downer post, feeling like a bit of a crap Mummy at the moment xxxxx

 

[Ella1979]

You are not a crap mummy! It really sounds like you're doing just fine. 9 month olds do not need other babies to interact with. Most children don't interact in any meaningful way with other children until they're 2 years old, e.g. my almost 3 year old is now making friends at nursery but my 15 month old mostly plays by himself at nursery. I really think that it's the prevalence of nurseries that makes us think our babies need social interaction with other babies at such early ages. What your baby needs is interaction with you, which he gets in spades - even when he's playing happily by himself, he's doing so because he knows you're nearby.

I personally think you're doing enough, especially if he's due to start nursery. I found with both of mine starting last year that the 2 days pretty much drained them. It's possible to over-pack your LO's week with activities, but it is so important they learn that there are quiet times in the day and times when they need to play by themselves xx

 

[Mackmummy]

I always feel like is with oscar! If I don't take him out sightseeing or dog something simulating I feel awful! Today we are having a pyjama day because the weather is horrible! My week is like this...
Monday - play date with my friend who has a two year old (my lo is only four and a half months old) yesterday we went to the zoo, sometimes we do the museums or blue planet etc
Tuesday - nothing planned so we will have a pyjama day, I might go for a walk with him In the afternoon. In the Kronos oscar watches cartoons and plays on his own while I try to get a shower, do the housework,eat etc. then he has a nap. After nap we play together until the next nap then a walk.
Wednesday - trying to organise another set play date with another friend but at the moment it's fee so again I'd go for a walk and play together as well as on his own
Thursday - free day but family usually visit or I got to them
Friday - play group in the morning then an afternoon play date again we usually go to museums or walks round the park depending on the weather!
Saturday and Sunday spent with daddy doing all sorts! zoo, swimming, blue planet, park etc

Still always feels I don't do much!

 

[Maud]

I don't think there's anything specific you should be doing. Independent play is really important - I wouldn't get any housework done without it and I think my brain would melt!

Our week consists of two baby groups, baby signing class and a swimming lesson plus walking to the shops a couple times a week and occasionally a wander around a local farm park or visiting family. Baby groups kept me sane in the early weeks and my daughter loves socialising at them, so for us they are very important. Neither of us enjoy being stuck in the house all day.

At home we do reading, singing and playing with her toys together and we watch the occasional episode of Mr Tumble together (she loves him!). When she was younger we did yoga and massage but she's too active for those now. She loves having me down on the floor to climb over, fling her about and pass things to. But she is also (mostly) happy if I'm busy in the kitchen doing washing up, putting washing on etc so long as I keep chatting to her (she likes posting her toys to me through the baby gate).

If you did want to go to more groups, there are plenty of free/cheap ones around. Children's centres and libraries are great for these and our local NCT only asks for a £2 voluntary donation (and supply free tea and biscuits).

 

[H16]

I really wouldn't worry hun, I have been going up and down country with LO trying to sort out moving counties, moved to my parents after a year of back and forth and now about to move again so my LO definitely doesn't do enough play dates etc as we don't have a settled life or routine. But she is an extremely bright socially confident little girl who will play with others when she can but is happy to play on her own also. Don't be too hard on yourself, all baby really needs at a young age is you x

 

[Jojo84]

I'm at work most days part one so I don't see him until. 30 and it's too late to do much because I like him home for his te at 4:30-5;00 ish or he's all out of sorts and late for bed and all kinda so I tend to take him out when I'm off but if I don't I feel really bad about it... I think it's natural to think it

When we do honour we usually go swimming or to visit my grandma or just out to the shops

 

[flisstebbs]

I think it sounds lovely your baby having so much of your time tbh. Put the mummy guilt away!

On my lgs non nursery days we are pretty quiet to ourselves and just do household chores together, she now loves to "help". I do get to see friends sometimes with their babes but not that often, and try to go for a swim when we can, but its often just up to the park for us for an outing. Weekends we often have friends here or go to others, but we never go out, its all about days with the kids, a meal together and then everyone is in bed by 9!

 

[naomip]

I could have written his myself. I always feel like I should be doing more to stimulate my lo. We do go to a couple of classes at the local sure start centre, which are lovely, friendly and free x

 

[Toria111]

My lo is 11 months, and spends most the day in and out of the car or pram while we drop off and pick up the older kids. I do take her to toddler group on a thurs am which she loves. Lots of toys and kids to play with. She also goes to nursery once a week for interaction with other babies.

 

[Louise2013]

Thanks ladies, feeling less rubbish now i don't know why I feel so under pressure about it. No one is making me feel that way, I guess in my head I should be dong something amazing with him every day; instead he just gets to hang out with boring old Mummy all the time! xxxxx

 

[naomip]

Mummy guilt. It sucks x

 

[Louise2013]

Mummy guilt. It sucks x

I know! And no one tells you it even exists before you have a baby....... I spend 95% of my time feeling guilty about one thing or another. The other 5% is the time I am asleep......

I find it so hard. I have always been a really confident person in the sense that I have always been happy with my own decisions etc. Long gone now! Xx

 

[Pumpkin9]

I do a few things during the week but have Monday's and Wednesday's free so I can get things done in the house.

Tuesday's we go to messy play, Thursday's to tadpole tunes which is singing and dancing and Fridays swimming.

You might want to check out local church's and Facebook pages as there are quite a few free or very cheap (I.e £2 a time) play groups near us that are run in community halls or church spaces but aren't actually particularly religious

Don't worry too much though as time at home and independent play is lovely for them.

 

[sophiadavies]

my mum says that as a mother you will feel guilty forever....Thanks for that mum! But I got a feeling its true x

 

[mellie_88]

Have you not got a local children's centre or anything near you? I currently go to 2 baby groups at ones near me and its lovely and free which is always an added benefit!

 

[mellie_88]

Oh yes as pumpkin says churches do lovely cheap stay and plays. The one near me is £1.50 and you get a drink for yourself, squash for the kids and they also get a snack later on

 

[Cjj]

Mummy guilt. It sucks x

I know! And no one tells you it even exists before you have a baby....... I spend 95% of my time feeling guilty about one thing or another. The other 5% is the time I am asleep......

I find it so hard. I have always been a really confident person in the sense that I have always been happy with my own decisions etc. Long gone now! Xx

I could've written that myself! I'm right with you x