wedding etiquette

[Shepherdess]

Not quite sure to, post this but I'm after a bit of advice

Back story. My partner and I have been together for about 12 years. We have one daughter. My oh has two brothers, both younger. One got married last year to a girl who I get on great with, he'd been with her for four years or so. The other has been with his girlfriend for a few months. Tbh he changes girlfriends a bit but that's not really my business and he's young so it's not a problem

Any way my oh and I are getting married this spring. I'm curious in the etiquette of family photos.

At the wedding last year family photos included the bride groom oh's parents and the boy's. Not me not my daughter and tbh I was quite miffed that we weren't included. I could kind of see that I wasn't actually married to oh at the time but we'd been together a lot longer and I was mainly upset my daughter wasn't included in family pics. Other brother and his gf had only been together a short while so I wasn't surprised she wasn't in them

As for my Wedding, youngest brother is now with a different girl who I barely know and I feel like if he dumps her I'd have regretted having her in the family pics but at the same time she might be the one and they might be together forever and I'd hate to make anyone feel the way my sil made me feel by not including me. Do I do pics without both girls? Or with everyone? What would etiquette dictate?

 

[Donna88]

Why don't you have a number of pics

some with just brothers

some with one brother and wife

some with both brothers and girlfriends etc.

That way you don't upset anyone but if things don't turn out then you have other pictures which you probably would have had up anyway. I think it a bit odd that they didn't have you and your daughter in their pics, but each to their own. Wedding planning is very stressful and at the end of the day you just need to do whats best for you and what you feel is right. I don't think anyone would blame you if you didn't have the other brothers girlfriend on the pics

 

[Moomin21]

I'd make sure that you at least get pics with family only. At my wedding both my brother and sister had long term partners and they were included in the family pics. Both split and now I'm gutted that my pics are ruined. I can't display any of them as it would just be weird and my bro and sis both have new partners!! If you do have time to do extra photos to include them and you want to do that then that is a nice gesture but if not I'd exclude them and not worry! Better than having ruined pics! Hope all goes well!!! Xxx

 

[Tigeress]

I agree with Donna hun, do some with them and do some without, that way you've included them and if they do break up, you've got the pics without! Xx

 

[snowbee]

Another vote for some with and some without. It is a bit of a faff messing about but could be worth it long term.

We didn't really have any of the formal photos, we have a few informal family groups, a few random friend groups etc. My cousin and her bf are in my family pics, they have since parted ways but he was still a big part of her life at the time so I don't feel the pictures are ruined or anything, I think it helps that they were done in an informal fun style.

 

[Shepherdess]

Thank you for the replies. I guess I'll have to do some with and some without. I didn't want a huge fuss over photos. Our mother's would like some proper family one's so I was hoping to quickly get them done with just one or two but I'll have to do both.

 

[cassi]

I agree. Get a mix of photos done