Warning...A sad post x

[Jasmine]

Hi everyone,

Well my af is due tomorrow and i tested today and got a bloody NEGATIVE. I used FMU so im pretty sure im out for this month again! I also tried an OPK which was also negative. DAAAAAMMMMM! I was tring to act all happy and normal with df as i didnt want to tell him unless I knew for sure and I just cried and cried when he left for work. Im sorry if this post is a bit wingey but I felt that something was different this month, and we tried so hard too BDing everyday around o, magic medicine, DF on zinc, preseed, OPKs!

The weird thing is that ive been having af cramps everyday for over a week and I NEVER get af cramps until the day before usually. Ive been feeling wierd twingy pulling pains in my uterus all week too. Im gonna wait for her to make an appearence tomorrow and if she doesnt ill test again. I feel like I cant even get on with the day and this ttc is taking over my bloody life.

On the up side though, if I definitly get a BFN, im off to the sunbed this month and a few very large glasses of wine are in order this weekend! Good luck to my fellow testees this month, I really wish you the best as the sooner we get away from the blues of ttc the better. X X

pS Sorry again for moaning there are a lot more people on here in a worse situation than me x x

 

[Snuggle]

I'm sorry you feel so down but I wouldnt give up hope just yet as AF is not due yet so you may have tested too early. I only got a BFP when I was 4 days late and even then the line wasnt strong.

Good luck

 

[Jasmine]

Thanks Jools

Was that the first time you tested then? Or did you get a BFN before that?

x

 

Jasmine,

I know exactly how disappointed and frustrated you feel - I had not been using any contraception for 2 years and actively trying for over a year. I knew exactly when I was ovulating and timed our "ttc" with almost military precision...still nothing. Month after month, I ended up disappointed. I've spent an absolute fortune on tests. I was obsessed! I started buying those 3 tests in a pack from the pound shop. They saved me money, but not the disappointment!

This month, due to testing too early, I've had about 3 neg tests, but last night (day after AF due), I had two of those pound shop tests show the faintest of positive lines, so I sent my df to a 24 hour supermarket to get the clearblue digital test that tells you in words. I tested at 5am this morning and it said, 'pregnant'. After so many disappointments, I can't quite believe it!

Last month, I was looking up sperm donors I was that desperate. Of course, I didn't really want to use one, but I was beginning to panic, thinking, "Why can't I get pregnant?" I'm 34. I don't know what your age is, but I guess the older you are, the more time it takes to conceive.

Also, this month, I made sure we were trying from a few days after my period finished - earlier than than I would normally be bothered so much about trying. And I swapped positions too to give gravity the best help and put the old pillow under my hips and lay down for at least 20 mins afterwards (sorry if too much information).

I think we want to conceive so badly that even just before AF is due, we believe this could really be "it". Every month, I imagined I had every textbook symptom of early pregnancy there is! Only to be disappointed.

It is awful and frustrating, but it does take time and, even if like me, you've been trying for ages, don't give up hope.

Good luck - I think the longer you have to wait the more precious you realise it is when you're actually pregnant and the more exciting it all is.

Wendy

 

[Jasmine]

Wow Thanks Wendy, that was such a thoughful reply! Congratulations on your BFP you must be so happy! Your advice is great, actually I went to see the doctor this morning and i spurted everything out. Im only 24 and ive only been ttc for 3 months and ive got myself in a right state about it. The doctor told me to do nothing, that was her advice. She said not to bother charting yet and just to realx. So thats what im doing, ive let ttc take over my life and im not doing it anymore.

Ive decided not to come on here so much. I was worried about my periods and i thought i wasnt ovulating as ive been on the pill for so long and my periods now only last for about 2 days and are v light. the doc says it just takes time for your body to get back to normal after the pill and that itll take a year or two to get pg. That feels like so long but i think itll feel longer if i obssess over it so im not going to.

Hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy i wish you all the best a x x

 

Hiya Jasmine,

I'm glad you're feeling more positive about the whole thing. And you've only been ttc for 3 months! It took me a year at your age with my first child (God, I'm beginning to sound like my mum ). I had been on the pill back then too, but I think it's all just a bit hit and miss whether you've been on the pill before ttc or not. If you watch these videos (suggested by another member on here), you begin to wonder how any of us ever manage to fall pregnant, whatever our age/contraception history! Have you seen these?

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/miracle/program.html#

But, despite how difficult it seems to be, and the fact that it takes most of us at least a year of trying (even at your age, that's "average"), it does still eventually happen. I'm sure it will for you too.

Just when I had decided to forget all about it the first time - I went on holiday and did some serious clubbing then when I got home - I was pregnant (and worried)! So your doctor's advice is right: it seems to happen when you least expect it.

But, if you're still concerned about ovulation and want to check it without the cost of temperature charting, here's some advice (but don't read on if you don't want to risk a similar obssesion to mine!):

Your periods are not so much an indication of ovulation - I mean, having regular periods is a good sign, but the duration and how heavy/light they are isn't as important. You can have periods and yet not ovulate. What you should notice, if you ovulate, is that your cervical discharge changes throughout the month. Seemingly a "changing" discharge throughout the month is a sign of fertility.

As I said - I have been obsessed and read everything I can on this subject! What I found out is that day 1 of your cycle (as you probably know) is the first day of bleeding (your period). After that, you won't notice much vaginal discharge (you'll be quite dry), then it should gradually change from dry to white and then, about the middle of your cycle, you'll notice that your discharge gets more "moist". When your discharge is most wet, slippy and even "stretchy" (usually clear, or clear and whitish), that's a sign of fertility (and ovulation). It's this slippy cervical mucus (cm) that's a sign of ovulation, not your periods. You might also notice an abdominal pain/twinge in one side, usually on the right, when you ovulate, but not everyone gets this. A few days before and after these signs of ovulation (when your cm is the clearest and most slippy and can stretch between your fingers) is when you should concentrate on ttc. Some people have to check with a clean finger inside their vagina to check their CM, other notice cm on their underwear/toilet paper.

Most women, regardless of their cycle length (they say the "average" is 28 days, but I don't seem to have an average month-to-month!) ovulate 14 days before their next cycle (that is, before their next period starts). To find out if you're ovulating, write down what your discharge looks like, day to day in a diary. Then, on the first day of your period, count back 14 days and see if you had noted in your diary that your vaginal discharge was more moist, slippy and/or stretchy. This way of checking for ovulation is free, but it can help to reassure you that your body is "working" okay. But sorry if too much information!

As for me - this time, again I had decided to forget all about it (I knew I was ovulating by doing the checking above) and had booked a holiday for May to Disneyland and was just about to book another for late summer/autumn...and yes, I am delighted (and worried again).

Good luck - and remember you have spring and summer to enjoy your "freedom"

 

[Jasmine]

Awww Wendy, your great! I know I know I said I wasnt coming on here so much and look at me, the next day! Its so addictive! Thanks for your brillaint advice, I guess Ive been pretty ignorant really, its just that you are warned so much about getting pg when your young and they make it seem like you only do it once, with a split condom and whambam your pg!God wish that was the truth!

I have totally changed my way of thinking now, Im adopting the attitude that it will happen soon and that Im to enjoy myself and achieve things before it does. Im graduating in July, I have a job interview Friday, getting married next year and moving house in the summer so I think i need to focus on those things instead. Make a nice enviroment for a baby to be born into.

As for the videos, I have seen those they are fascinating and yes I thought exactly the same after I seen them...Im never going to get pg! With the cm, I have Toni Welshlers book and I too have been reading and obssessing over everything and last month I was checking my cm. I did not get any of the egg white people talk about but it did change. Id say it was more creamy really and I also had lots after id Ovulated so who knows what that means?

One thing to ask you though if you know. I noticed when i was on the pill once (tmi) lots of the egg white stuff coming out of me at the time i thought it was weird but now I know what it is. However, i thought that you didnt ovualte when you were on the pill and therefore wouldnt get egg whites? OHHH its confusing!

Im going to keep an eye on that egg white and thanks agin for your advice as i dint know that this was an indication of ovualtion. Take care Wendy and thanks x x x x x

 

Wow Jasmine, looks like you've got loads to look forward to!

I had my first little boy just before my 3rd year exams at uni. I was breastfeeding at the time and the first exam was the first day I'd left him. I spent 7 hours traveling and doing the exam and, by the end of it, my breasts were so full of milk and I had missed him so much that I felt sore and miserable...it is probably best to graduate first (though I was pregnant with my second by the time I graduated). I could hardly look at the buffet they'd laid on and couldn't drink or enjoy it as much. You'll be able to have a ball that day.

I think the reason you have more cm during the time on the pill is because the hormones in it are designed to trick your body into believing its already pregnant - in pregnancy, a lot of women get increased discharge. Secondly, the pill also thicken cm to make it more difficult for sperm to get through.

The most fertile cm is like "raw" egg white, though mine has been like clear lumps of jelly sometimes (I know, this kind of talk can be quite gross, but I suppose we girls have to talk about these things as it's all perfectly natural).

Another thing is that if you're having lots of sex, trying to conceive, it's hard to tell when you're ovulating because sperm already inside you, from e.g. the night before, can seem clear and "slippy" too, making it difficult to tell what's your cm.

It's probably best just to count backwards 12-14 from each period and try to build up a pattern (if possible) of when in the month you are most likely to ovulate in future. I got it confused for months - I thought it was day 14 AFTER your period starts. Now I know that most women ovulate around 14 days BEFORE the next period starts.

I just put a urine sample into the doctor's today to confirm my pregnancy. The result is due on Friday. I'm worried it'll be negative - what if I've imagined it all, or those other tests were wrong? After trying for so long and finally getting a positive, I'm worried something will go wrong. I've worked out my due date is around the date my dad died (usually a sad time of year for me), so I'm trying to believe that that's a good sign.

Good luck with the interview on Friday (I hate interviews, who doesn't?).

xxx

 

[lisa_davidson]

hi all,

with regards to actually getting pregnant i think the best advice is not to think about it! easier said than done i know! but i had charts up all over, was taking my temperature religiously, and was upset every month!
i stopped worrying and thinking about it after about five months....and hey presto!!
and the month i concieved we were rarely having sex at all (which was quite unusual)
and i knew after we had done it that i was pregnant....which is something i wont attempt to explain...cos i can't!! same as i knew he was a he!!

and i thank god for my little gift every day!!! and hope you will be able to soon too!!!

lisa xx