Very shy about ...

[futuremum]

Hi girls!

A bit embarrassing but as all the gps in the surgery are booked for 3 weeks or on holiday, I cannot see any ( glad i am giving 150 pounds a month to NHS )

Anyway, since the birth of Thomas, I cannot have sex. I feel all shy as if it was the first time and at the end, i putt off my OH who thinks he is not wanted anymore It is really weird, i laugh like a very silly girl each time there is an attempt and I have a blockage, cannot do it. I do not want my OH to think I do not want him anymore and he does make him uncomfortable too. I feel very silly about this

Has anybody had this before? Should I see a councellor or something?

 

[emilia]

Hi there...
I feel for you and I can assure you, this is VERY normal. I think that there would be quite a few of us on here that can put our hands up to these feelings/actions.
I do believe that it might be a wise thing to see a councellor for a chat. Sometimes these behaviours may also be due to aspects of our relationship changing with DH/OH. Does that makes sense? Not sure how to put it... I guess our feelings for our partners could change for the better or the worse.
I would say that the giggling is an instinctive reaction you as a person have built in. It might kick in when you're nervous, anxious or threatened. Some of us make excuses, invent fake symptoms or avoid these issues obviously.

Have a chat with your OH too - you're right about not wanting him to feel left out, but he must know your position, in order to understand and give you time and space. We can show love and affection in so many other ways and if he's an understanding man, he'll be patient with you and your feelings.

I don't mean to sound like a "Sex Councillor", but often, the longer we dis-engage ourselves from sex after birth, the harder it becomes to engage with it again. Perhaps you need to remind yourself how pleasurable it was and could be again. Take it from there.

Pm me if you want to chat about it.
Regards
Emilia xx

 

[Tiny Sue]

I actually felt like this before we did the deed just for the first time. I confessed to my husband that it felt like the first time and I was nervous, and shy. He was gentle with me, and it was the BEST we've had. Honestly. Just take it easy, and everything will be fine.

Sue

 

[Urchin]

This might sound.....odd, but have considered getting tipsy first?
I'm the same but can't get tipsy as I'm breastfeeding.

 

[hearts81]

I did what Uchin suggests!!! The first 3 or 4 times we had sex after having Reece i had had atleast 4 cans or lager I soon became more confident

 

[Manda]

Me and OH are the same i was getting a bit peeved cos we hadn't had it for a year (bad pregnancy and birth then i went to UK for 3 months) anyway we did the deed a couple of weeks ago and he hasn't been interested since although i've been hinting so i got in a right strop and eventually we had a chat and he said the same it's like we're getting to know each other again and he doesn't know where the boundaries are anymore, thought this was weird at first but then when i sat down and thought about it i'm too embarrassed to make the 1st move so why should it be different for him, anyway after our chat i hope things get back to normal whatever normal is