Unexpected bad response from parents :-(

[amandapanda]

Well I decided to tell my mum and dad tonight (via phone as I live far from them) - I was expecting a really happy, excited response but instead it was really luke warm, barely a congratulations and all she could say was 'oh so you're going to be a single parent then?' - I was so offended by this, I am engaged to be married and she met my fiance a few months ago! She immediately got my back up and I said 'did you not meet my fiance? why on earth would you say I will be a single parent?' she just said 'well your not married are you?' I basically just hung up on her, am so upset and can't stop crying!

I don't know why but I was expecting a really positive response (I'm 37, she knows I really want kids) and her reaction has really disappointed me. My fault really - she's never been the most warm or nurturing or positive type, guess I expected too much

 

[meshe]

Oh goodness, im really sorry to hear it. My mum knows, bit worried about telling my dad as altho he has told me he would love for me to have children, he's not a fan of my partner due to the age gap and they have only ever met once, very briefly, so Im definately anxious about that one!

How are you feeling? Dont let it stress you too much, it wont be good for the bump, just try to think of the good things, are his parents supportive? x

 

[xx emma xx]

Im sorry you got a bad response from your parents, i cant imagine how disappointed you feel. Maybe they will come round to the idea, it may just have been shock that made them react like that.
Meshe is right dont let it stress you out. As long as you and your fiance are happy, thats what matters. xx

 

[Annie050408]

Sorry, I know she is your mum but what a COW!! She's probably just jealous because it's your turn now to become a mum and have all the excitement and joy of a new baby. Ignore her hon- hard but you deserve better. X

 

[Mummy2Adam]

Sorry to hear you got a bad response from your parents and i cant imagine how disappointed you must have been hun but its your life and you make the choices and if you and your OH are happy then thats all that matters. Im sure your parents will come round, it may have been a big shock if they werent expecting it x x


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[wishuponastar]

So sorry to hear that, you must be so disappointed. It's not too much to expect your parents to be happy for you. Perhaps they'll come round and feel guilty that they didn't give you the response you deserve. Anyhow, you and your partner are happy and that's the main thing.xx

 

[Nanc]

So sorry Hun. I am 39 and not married either, but live with my OH. I haven't told my mum yet, but am hoping she's going to be happy. Unfortunately the older generation sometimes expect us to conform to how they did things. Maybe your mum has forgotten how exciting and emotional it is to be pregnant, and how important an event it is for those who really want to be parents. I really hope she makes amends with you. Xx

 

[karenandbump]

Aw hon, sorry it went like that. Has she called back? x x x

 

[amandapanda]

Thanks everyone - I'm still crying but I guess that's me being hormonal aswell. My mum has always been an extremely negative woman but she was genuinally happy when I got engaged and she met my fiance, so I guess I got carried away with that and thought she'd be genuinally happy about the baby.

Don't get me wrong, she'll say she's happy and she'll send me a card but that first reaction can't be taken back and there was not one bit of genuine happiness or excitement there. Dad rang me back but I wasn't in the mood to answer - he just left a message saying 'you hung up before I could say congratulations'.

Don't know if I'm over reacting, guess I am upset with them but also upset with myself for building myself up to expect a lovely positive reaction - silly girl!

 

[XHopefulX]

Amanda I got the same response from my mother the other week, she knows I am getting married next month and I thought we would try before (thinking my body would take more than 3 months to regulate after coming off the pill from 22 yrs).
I sat there, look at her and told her the news, she turned away then came back and said oh right, whatever you want! I knew what was going on in her head that I wasn't married yet but at my age I am counting my blessings that I got pregnant so fast......since then she hasn't mentioned it.... not an easy situation but I am concentrating in surrounding myself with positive people not people who want to bring me down xx

 

[flexilexi394]

Oh wow that is unexpected! Just goes to show, no matter what age you are people really do react badly to pregnancy sometimes! Like you say, she will come round to the idea, an at least your dad made an effort to call back. Give it a few days before you speak to them again maybe, just to cool off and give them time to register it! Xx

 

[FallingStar]

Sorry you had such a bad response from your Mum, must have been tough

It could well have been shock that made her react like that, or maybe she just didn't know how to react and that was the first thing that popped out her mouth? Was good that your Dad rang you back to congratulate you.. try and speak to him soon maybe?

As others have said, prime concerns are you, OH and your pg... if peeps can't be happy for you then that's their loss. Enjoy your pg and let them be grumpy on their own. She'll come round, I'm sure.. but try not to let her negativity detract from your happiness too much xxx

 

[missymiamoo]

Ugh, that's awful. What a horrible way to react. I'm sure like the others say it was just shock talking and she'll come round but in the meantime, b*****ks to whatever she thinks! You're thrilled to be pregnant and that's all that matters.

 

[cherelle]

awww i feel for you hun thats awful. I was expecting that from some of my family but they suprised me and have been very excited and supportive. Im sure your mum will come round, it does seem strange for her to react that way though! Maybe shes jealous? x

 

[amandapanda]

Thanks evryone for your support - I feel better now Haven't spoken to mum since but we don't talk that often anyway so that's normal. Will leave it for now....won't allow her to ruin my joy! xx

 

[xxClaire_24xx]

ENJOY your pregnancy!! at the end of the day if all goes wrong with the family and you OH you will always be a mummy. if you are happy with your OH then be happy and both enjoy the pregnancy and maybe your mum will come round to the idea im just sorry that that is the reaction she had though xx