unappreciated???

[BabyDreams]

Am I the only one who feels really unappreciated by DH?

We have only been married for a little over a year. We were thinking of TTC, but have since put it off due to finances and his immature behaviour. (We both decided about the finances, but his behaviour is my motive.) We are stressed about money, and he still goes out with his mates. Stayed out last night till 2am after telling me he was "just going to a ballgame". (He called and asked for permission to go out to the bar, of course, and I trust him completely, but I just get so tired of staying at home alone.)

I cook for him. I clean the house. I work full time. I hardly go out with my friends anymore bc of the aformentioned money problems. When we do go out together, I make sure I look nice. And he still mangages to IGNORE me most of the time. When he is home, he stays on the PlayStation or vegged out in front of the TV.

My sex drive has totally gone down the drain because of this. I want him to realize how much I do for him!! URRRGH!

I'm not looking to leave him - I love him dearly. I just want someone to tell me, WHAT DO I DO TO MAKE DH APPRECIATE me?!?!?

 

[Babylicious]

Go on strike and do nothing for him, my Oh can be the same

 

[BabyDreams]

Thanks you two!

I feel a little better just getting it off my chest. He's been home all day and trying to be lovey-dovey. He even crawled in the shower with me !!! He's been rubbing all over me this afternoon...but like I said...no sex drive. I guess you could say I'm cutting him off of sex until he behaves better. I'm not into sleeping with a man that's gonna take me for granted like that -- no matter if he is my hubby!

I really wouldn't know how to go about bringing it up to him bc he takes criticism so badly. (like a 10 year old!) I just don't FEEL appreciated. I really don't see that he does ANYTHING for me - at least not without reciprication.

A girls night out sounds fabulous Midna! I wish, I wish!

 

[Babylicious]

I agree no nooky to start with, and think about doing less around the house. He may start helping?

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I think your completely right baby dreams with what your saying and i know how you feel about wanting to bring it up - your oh and my own sound very much the same cept my oh dont go out really but he does play on the bleedin playstation and not much else!

I hope you sort things out and dont explode like i do cos it dont help and just makes them more bleedin stroppy!

 

[frangelle]

My OH is the same, he told me the other night he would be back for tea, then strolled in at half 1 in the morning off his face swaying all over the place and slurring, blaming a nicotine patch (god knows where that came from!!) for making him 'woozy'

 

[Hedgey]

Can totally understand where your coming from cos i'm in the same situation, the first thing i would ask tho is, is he an only child and had his parents run round doing everything for him, making sure their little soldier is ok

Mine is and doesn't seem to realise that now he's left home he has to fend for himself a bit more, we have been living together now for about 2+half yrs and in that time the only thing i can leave him to do on his own is make scrambled eggs. I work full time and am up during the week at 4.30 so i can be at work for 6 then come home and do all the stuff round the house and will most likely to be falling asleep by about 9 then he moans at me for being tired even when it gets to the weekend and he has to work but i don't i still have to set my alarm for 6am to make sure he gets to work on time..................When will some men realise were women not robots


Why do they think that if they have been nice to you for a couple of hours that you have to be greatful and reward them with sex???

 

[Babylicious]

good question

 

[happy-chick]

Why do they think that if they have been nice to you for a couple of hours that you have to be greatful and reward them with sex???

Men.... Dogs..... Sound familiar?

 

[BabyDreams]

Obviously I'm not in this boat by myself. Why do we put up with this???

mrs_tommo22 - No, I didn't explode yet. Thanks to this thread! I usually do, but I am realizing that gets no response from my OH. He then thinks the problem is that I'm mad...not what's MADE me mad.

frangelle - That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Did you laugh right in his face??!?!

Hedgy - no he's not an only child. I have spoiled him. He says so all the time. But who's spoiling me?!?!?! NO ONE! And I'm so busy running around for him and picking up after his lazy tail that I don't have time to spoil myself, even!

Babylicious - I have gone on strike before, and he doesn't care. He won't say a thing about the dishes piling up and the laudry overflowing. He won't lift a finger either. It doesn't seem to faze him.
I'm definately on nookie strike though. I've never been able to pull this off before...so let's see if it has any effect.

Any other suggestions? I am thinking of actually keeping a log of what he does around the house. I think it's been a month or more since he's done a bloody thing!!! Not even cut the grass or taken out the trash!!!
And of course all the bills/finances are handled by me ALWAYS!

Is there any way to REVERSE what I have done??? I've spoiled him rotten!!! I guess treating your husband the way YOU want to be treated is not the golden rule

Anyone been sucessful in getting their hubbys to ACT more appreciative!?!?

 

[trixipaws]

my boyf spends alot of time on the computer, and i work (but im on maternity leave atm) and also do all the housework and look after our daughter (i dont cook tho im rubbish i burn everything lol)
im sure he does appreciate u xx

 

[BabyDreams]

GIRLS NIGHT OUT planned tonight! Got a little hidden $, since I am the one who worries over the bills - found an advantage to that!

He's already started acting snotty about it...but he'll get over it. I'm up for having a good time out tonight!

 

[mrs_tommo22]

GIRLS NIGHT OUT planned tonight! Got a little hidden $, since I am the one who worries over the bills - found an advantage to that!

He's already started acting snotty about it...but he'll get over it. I'm up for having a good time out tonight!

Good! im glad hes snotty as well, will show him the tables can be easily turned thats girl power for you! Hope you had a great night out though.

Stop spoiling him though cos i made the same mistake with my husband, i dont do it anymore - i do enough without looking after him as well!

Think of number 1 more!

 

[Hedgey]

Must admit I tried the not doing the housework etc.... and it made no difference he just left it till i got sick of looking at it and ended up doing it all anyway...................


Like the idea of a girlie night out tho as oh is a jealous person and me being out on the town and if i didn't answer any txt's or calls while i was out would just drive him mental

 

[BabyDreams]

Well, girls night out went PERFECTLY! I got completely pissed, and only spent 16.00 (the rest were people buying and bartenders giving me shots.) I stayed out till 6am!!!

I came strolling in as the sun came up to find a none-too-happy husband.
(He had been calling since 5am, but I didn't answer his calls.) I told him that I didn't know I had a curfew - which he told me I didn't.
I replied that I was not doing anything HE hadn't done before (so true!).

I had the worst hang over EVER the next day...but it was worth it.
After I got over the hangover, we had a talk. I told him how frustrated I was about him not helping out and not spending any time with me. It seemed like me staying out all night put him in just the right place to LISTEN instead of being defensive.

He also agreed that if our money situation doesn't improve soon, he'll get another job. So - Midna - looks like you were right ab
out me needing to scare him a little.

 

[Kimbo]

have lots of fun.. and get some pics!

 

[BabyDreams]

Hubby did the dishes tonight!
I now fully advocate acting as much like an ass as your hubby does, then telling him why! LOL!

 

[Kimbo]

did you go out?
hope you had lots of fun!