TTCAL but feeling really "meh" about it.

[Mum2Many]

Has anyone felt like this? I've had 7 MCs, and coupled with low AMH levels and being in the perimenopause I kind of feel like even if I got a BFP I couldn't enjoy it for fear it'll all end in MC again.

So everyone says to me "Oooo it's so exciting you're trying again" and "You'll definitely get pregnant quickly"... As though 1/. it's likely with my lowered egg quantity and 2/. even if I get pregnant it seems unlikely I'd stay that way for long.

I really want to be excited again, but mostly I'm just feeling defeated and sad today.

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

Yup I feel like that all the time hun but just got to carry on and never give up hope. It is hard after so many losses to be positive tho. I'm currently 10+3 and am just waiting it to the extent I bought a dressing gown today that's cooler as the hospital is so hot. But no matter the outcome of this one I will keep on trying. By trying at least I have a chance. Good luck hun xxx

 

[babyphoenix]

I'm feeling that way after 2 losses I can't imagine how you're feeling after 7. Best of luck

 

[ema-lou24]

So sorry you ladies are feeling like this . Its a horrible feeling but one that cant be helped.
I suffered 4 miscarriages before I finally got our little girl and my OH's mother, she had a real hard time trying for my partner. She married my father in law but didnt want the baby right away so waited and after a couple of years decided to try. She suffered 9 miscarriages and numerous other problems. She was ready for giving up and asking for a full hysterectomy as thats the way things where heading due to other problems. But finally she got her sticky BFP and gave me my OH. Hes an only child and she did get her hysterectomy as she didnt want to have anymore heartache.

What im trying to say is it will happen. Its easy for me to sit and say that I know. But it will when the time is right.
Thinking of you all and hoping your dreams come true x

 

[hopewishdream]

I completely understand. I am terrified at the prospect of getting pregnant again. I think MC robs us of the joy of early pregnancy.

Wishing you lots of luck on your TTC journey xxx

 

[Rose83]

I completely understand. I am terrified at the prospect of getting pregnant again. I think MC robs us of the joy of early pregnancy.

Wishing you lots of luck on your TTC journey xxx

Definitely agree with this. I'm in my TWW at the moment and feeling pretty confident but my partner found out he'll be away for the next two weeks today so my first thought was 'he'll miss testing day' and my second though was 'If I get a BFP he'll not be here on the day I've miscarried twice on before'. And that feels like a terrible thing to be thinking, like in my head I'm expecting it to go wrong before I even know anything's there. But we are all cursed with the knowledge that we will never be worry free now and it's hard to be positive about that I suppose but I do try! X

 

[Mum2Many]

Is it bad, that I am kind of hoping I'm not this month now? I've been put on strong painkillers and antibiotics and they're the type the say not to use without the Drs knowledge during pregnancy, and the painkillers can also reduce fertility apparently. I know if I am pregnant this month, and I MC again I'll never forgive myself for taking these meds. Even though I told the Dr who prescribed them there was a chance, and he said it was fine as I'm only a few DPO.

I don't know about you ladies but I always have to find a "reason" for my MCs, even when there isn't really one. My brain can't accept it's not my fault in some way, shape or form and I just know this is going to fuel that fire. And as Rose83 said, how said that I'm already contemplating the fact that I'll MC before I even know if I'm pregnant?!

MC sucks. I'm sorry you ladies have all been through it too. (((((HUGS)))))