TTC and getting partners to be on board

[Maximus17]

hi I thought I create a new thread for this as I am going through it and I read comments from others that they are also having problems in this department.
Basically getting partners to do everything in their power in this TTC journey. For example my husband will not listen to me when it comes to smoking, heated seats in car, and some other small things. When I tell him to stop doing those things , he says it's rubbish that it will affect our chances, he says how do millions of people get pregnant than, and if I insist we will argue and he won't do what I say anyway. I am sooo tired of trying to control someone else's habits. and add to the list getting him to remember to take his vitamins. I normally pass it to him every morning as he wouldn't remember otherwise. I sometimes just want to stop TTC so I don't have to think about what he is doing, I mean he really wants a baby, but he doesn't think these small things are affecting our chances even though I show him evidence. Anyone else want to add to this list?

 

[Sunflower1]

Can you show him studies and articles to prove these things are bad for fertility? Better still go for a doctors visit together and discuss with a GP. Does he know that male smoking increases miscarriage rates - does he really want to put you through that?!!

 

[Maximus17]

thanks sunflower I did show him studies, but the more I talk about it , it seems to get worse. Since I backed down a bit he said he might reduce it, I think I just need to be patient. By the way did you get your BFP?

 

[Sunflower1]

No. Still in fertile week. Not optimistic. I have same problem with my OH's weight that you have with yours smoking.

 

[Akua]

My OH doesn’t see the point in BDing unless I’ve had a positive ovulation test. Doesn’t seem to understand that the days before are just as important as the actual O day. Yeah. Apparently I have the only man in the world who’s not overly bothered about sex

 

[Maximus17]

Sorry to hear that sunflower i am sure it will happen soon.
Hey Akua my husband is the same. He is not too keen on too much sex. I mean if it wasn’t for TTC we would only be having sex 3 times a month most. I have to go out of my way to make it happen. I think that also contributes to getting sick and tired of TTC. I wish my husbands sex drive was sooo high that I didn’t have to make an effort every time.

 

[Akua]

That’s exactly my life maximus. Any BDing needs to factor in the 20-30 minutes before to try and get him in the mood. Which isn’t great if I don’t really fancy it either and am just trying to persuade him into it for baby making purposes. Whoever invented the SMEP didn’t realise how much BDing is involved clearly!

 

[Maximus17]

Yes that’s me too. Like now I am having ovulation pains etc and tonight I need to make an effort again even than sometimes the pressure gets to him and it doesn’t happen than I feel let down blah blah when we were in our 20s this wasn’t an issue. I wish I could turn the clock back and have children early on

 

[Sunflower1]

Sorry to hear that sunflower i am sure it will happen soon.
Hey Akua my husband is the same. He is not too keen on too much sex. I mean if it wasn’t for TTC we would only be having sex 3 times a month most. I have to go out of my way to make it happen. I think that also contributes to getting sick and tired of TTC. I wish my husbands sex drive was sooo high that I didn’t have to make an effort every time.

Have you thought about doing AI. It really took the stress out of it for my OH. All it takes is 5-10 mins of his time and then he can go play computer games!