Trying to conceive and it's getting me down :(

[Ann30]

Hi there,
Iv never posted on one of these before but I'm really down at the moment and really feel like I need to talk to other people in a similar situation to me.
Me and my hubby have been ttc for ten months now and it's really beginning to get me down. Well ever since we started tryin and I got the dreaded AF that first month the whole thing has really got to me. Iv always wanted children and the thought of living my life without havin any scares the hell out of me. The past 2 years people around me have been gettin pregnant and although I'm really happy for them part of me can't help feeling resentful and wondering why it's not me. Iv just had tests to check I'm ovulating and that was fine, hubby's got a semen analysis I a few weeks too. I really don't feel like I can talk to any one as they all say it hasn't been long and I should enjoy being married and I no I should but I, and my hubby, want itso badly it's all we can focus on. I'm really scared of becoming a bitter horrible person that no one wants to be around but I feel that's what I'm turning into. Is any one out there in a similar position? If so, how r udealing with things as I need to change I can't go on like this xx

 

[Babybushie28]

Hi hun,

There are lots of lovely ladies on here who share your frustration, me being one of them! Me and my oh have been ttc for 9 months now and still no baby. I was diagnosed with pcos last month and was devastated as I can't imagine me never becoming a mum. We have a fertility appointment next week to Hopefully give me some help and let oh have a sperm analysis just to rule it out.

It has been taking over my life as all I want is to be a mummy but I've accepted it'll happen when it's meant to and i feel much calmer now. Stressing about it won't help and will turn you slightly insane but this site is great to vent!!

There are lots of things out there to help you, do you use opk's, temps c+??

Hang in there hun it will happen

Xxxx

 

[Ann30]

Ah thank u so much for replying it means a lot and it's kinda nice to no im not on my own
Its so hard every month comin on and just feeling crushed but havin to put a brave face on. Iv also resorted to tryin some very iffy things like fertility stones and spells which shows I'm not in the right frame of mind. I'll def have to get myself thinking like u r and just trust it's going to happen one day.
If u don't mind me asking, how did u reach ur pcos diagnosis? I hope u don't mind me asking but it's something that has crossed my mind a few times? X

 

[Ann30]

Ps- I did try the opks a few times but never got a positive so that's why I had a test to see if I was ovulating. I have to say I found them quite stressful! Also, I don't really no how the temperature charting works? Me and the hubby are just trying to "do it!" every other night to see if that works
How about u? Xx

 

[Babybushie28]

I had period problems as soon as I came off the pill, went to have some general checks done and they said I had cysts but not pcos and it wasnt the reason for my problems. They put me on another pill but I didn't take it as I wanted to sort any probs before we started ttc so used condoms instead. In september we had a proper talk and decided to start trying, for 6 months I had regular periods and didn't have any pains or weirdness, even got a few positives on opk's but still no bfp.

Saw my doc and asked his advise and he sent me for 21 day bloods, I hadn't ovulated and my progesterone levels were really high so it confirmed pcos. My cycle since then was 53 days which was torture but it also confirmed it.

I was upset and couldn't stop crying but my gp was great and referred me there and then, I came on here and all the girls were amazing and made me feel loads better. It just means I need a little help and it's out there.

I was also looking for a new job so getting my bfp would have been my escape and Every day I was more and more down about it. I've got a new job now which I start in a few weeks so that'll take my mind off things.

I used to opk but I'm not anymore! I dont temp either! I agree with your motto just have lots of sex and it will happen

do you have normal cycles?

The best advice is to distract yourself, don't put your life on hold waiting for it to happen and do everything you want to do because as soon as you have your lo your life will change so much

Xxx

 

[Poppy1987]

Hiya and welcome. I have been ttc for a year and not had any luck. All the advise you have been told above is great and spot on. Well done on going to the docs I am so scared I can't go as I think there will be something wrong! X

 

[MYFIRST]

I took a couple of months out, as i was becoming too stressed with ttc.
Looking up every symptom,continuously thinking about ttc.

Wondering why the people around me are getting pregnant (not planned), and im still trying.

No wonder we can't plant that bean while stressing as much as we do.

We need to sit back, relax, and enjoy ttc.

Its soooooo going to be worth the wait

xxx

 

[Denver]

Hi sorry you are feeling down!
I know there are days when i feel so low and wonder if its ever going to happen, other days i feel really positive and know that one day it will happen!
and as MYFIRST said it will be soooo worth it!

Welcome to the forum and hope you feel better and get that bfp soon! xx

 

[MYFIRST]

Hi sorry you are feeling down!
I know there are days when i feel so low and wonder if its ever going to happen, other days i feel really positive and know that one day it will happen!
and as MYFIRST said it will be soooo worth it!

Welcome to the forum and hope you feel better and get that bfp soon! xx

How long have you been TTC for?
xxx

 

[Denver]

How long have you been TTC for?
xxx

This will be our 5th cycle xx

 

[Constantstar]

It took me 8 months to get my bfp so don't give up hope x


Mum of Owen. Born 11/7/11 @ 19.17pm weighing 7lb 12 oz

 

[3Beloved]

Hello & Welcome.

I think most people on here feel similar to you. I have to say I personally do. I find it really hard as i'm always around my neices and nephews and it just makes me want children more and more. I want that bond with that one little miracle that poos, be's sick, smells cute and has them days where they just don't cry.

I hope you get your BFP soon and don't give up hope. Our day will come...

xx

 

[Durhamchance]

As someone who as only just started to try I can only sympathise. 10 months may seem like a long time, but apparently it's not. You just need to keep telling yourself that every month that goes by is a month closer to that BFP x

Fingers crossed it happens for you soon x

 

[hayes]

Hi hun, im on cycle 13 now and i feel just like you do!! But you just have to try and stay positive and think one day it will be our time and all this waiting and wondering will be worth it. Fx you will get a bfp soon.

Michelle. x

 

[timtam78]

I've been trying for 10 months now too and feel just the same. Haven't figured out how to stop thinking about it all the time yet, but just wanted to say there's lots of us in the same boat. I'm currently having blood tests to check ovulation but I'm convinced there's something wrong with me as my cycles are all over the place and I've got all sorts of other symptoms.

If you are ovulating fine though, it can take a healthy couple a year or more to conceive so I know it's hard but try to find a little project or something to occupy you and I bet it will happen when you're not thinking about it.

Hope the semen analysis results are good too x

 

[Ann30]

Ah thank u for all ur replies- it is nice to no I'm not alone I think Monday was a really bad day for me as I found out yet another friend was pregnant and it's so hardto deal with! Iv decided I'm going to ever so slightly distance my self, just for a bit, from my pregnant friends or ones that already have children and spend abit more time with the ones that don't want children yet as I think it will be good for me not to hear about it all the time as I really think that makes me a lot worse! I just want my life back basically and to enjoy bein married without constantly focusing on what I haven't got rather than bein grateful for what I have. I have heard of people ttc and then goin back on the pill for a couple of months sp they no they aren't going to get pregnant to give their minds a rest from constantly wondering "am i pregnant" and looking out for signs and symptoms. I don't think I'm ready for that yet but I'm definately goin to have to try to change my attitude or I'll end up in a looney bin!
Has any one managed this and got some tips for me?!
I'll let u no when we get hubby's semen analysis back too- he's really nervous bless him it's such a big thing for a bloke xxx

 

[hayes]

We are waiting for hubbys results too, he doesnt say much but i know he is nervous. I am just like you hun, i really want to chill out and relax and enjoy my married life to hubby but its hard when you want something so badly. I think its good to have a hobby and defo have nights out with friends and meals out, cinema etc with hubby because as soon as a baby is here these things will stop for a bit so im tring to do lots now to remind myself that there is alot to enjoy now whilst im not pg!! Hard tho but i do hope the more i dont think about it the more il relax and it will happen.

Easier said than done tho.

Michelle. x

 

[PyscoFalcon]

All I can advice to cope is once a week have a pj and duvet day.

Snuggle up on the couch with a good book or DVD and have a cry. (and chocs etc) You'll feel much better after it as not only will you be relaxed but the crying will of released some tension

Good luck hun and hang in there.

 

[butterfly1414]

Hi Ann, ur not alone, there are plenty of us out there who are ttc and "struggling" - so to speak.
10 months isnt very long though hunni, the average length of time it takes for a "healthy" couple (by that i mean with no fertility issues) is 12months so ur not there yet.

I have pcos and have been trying since feb 2007. I was diagnosed in Sept 2007 with pcos. believe me, it will happen for u, but ur body wont allow it to happen all the time ur stressing urself out, worrying and putting any negative energy on urself. a friend once told me "positive things happen to positive people" and it proberly hasnt happened for me yet as Im such a negative nancy lol

every month i pump various pills into my body just to get it to Ovulate and when af arrives it does get me down, i wont lie. I spent 2hrs crying last night 'cause my af is late and ive got bfns so i know shes going to arrive, its just a case of "when"

I try to be perky and carefree, but 90% of the time im hiding behind a smiley face. I smile so no1 knows theres anything wrong so people dont ask questions as the minute they do i go into total meltdown.

everyone i know has children so I find myself only seeing them once their children are in bed, and making excuses as to why im not "free" during the day.

It is hard, but u will get through it and come out with a healthy happy baby xxxx

 

[Babybushie28]

Just to add to this.

"the harder the struggle, the greater the reward"

I just see it as someone wants to make sure we reeeeeaaaalllly want it, it will happen huni

Xxxx