Think my hormones are outta control - That or I am going mad

[DaisieBee]

I have had really emotional weekend and not sure if my hormones or what but feel really depressed. I know this will all seem petty to some people, but think that I might be going crazy as do not normally get this upset over trivial things. Also really need to rant to get this all outta my system.
Basically, me and DH had said that we would get a few bits for baby after 20 week scan. That has come and gone, so we set this weekend as weekend to just get a few bits. I know its early, but am really excited and just wanted to get one outfit or something.
Also, I keep having nightmares where I give birth and then have nothing to dress baby in, no nappies, nothing. And hospital say that because I am so unprepared I cant take baby home! Wake up all upset and worried. Is this pos another sign of my madness??
Anyway, Saturday morning woke up and was told my DH that he wanted to work on car and we would go Sunday instead. Was a bit dissapointed but didnt say anything. Spoke to my mum who said she would like to come too which I was really pleased about.
Then, last night, DH says he doesnt see point in getting anything this early and also that he doesnt want to get pushchair until after baby born. I got really upset because I want things prepared for baby. Also we had agreed on wallpaper for nursery, but DH says is pointless Thing is, I was so upset and felt really angry and like DH doesnt understand anything about me or baby. I have previously tried to discuss things with him and show him baby stuff but he doesnt seem interested. He is great at looking after me and really has been supportive, but when it comes to baby stuff he just doesnt seem to care.
To make matters worse, mum then called this morning to say she is steaming her carpets (?) so is too busy to come anyway. I just feel so isolated and like I have noone to talk to about baby stuff. I really wanted to just get a couple of bits as have been waiting til 20wks to get anything and was so excited.
Am I over-reacting by being so upset about all this - when I was upset I felt totally outta control, just felt really dark and couldnt stop crying. Feel like I am the only one who is excited about having this baby. I imagined me and OH browsing shops excitedly and being all prepared when baby came, instead is all arguments and crying. Whenever I get upset, DH just says is my hormones, which makes me worse, but he is probably right.

 

[SoonToBeMrs]

You cant get the pram AFTER baby is born! It's not too early.. your DH is wrong! NOW is the time for you to start building your little nest for baby.. it's a natural instinct for new Mums.. trust me when I say, get your claws into preparations.. because at this stage there is never "too much" preparing. I bought pram, moses basket, even clothes.. when I was only 13 or 14 weeks pg!!! I already have a hospital bag with nappies/cream/nightdress/toothbrush etc in ready just in case I get rushed in..

Don't listen to your DH.. please.. he doesn't get that instinct to suddenly prepare everything. With my first.. I didn't get anything because I didn't believe I would need anything just yet. I had NOTHING by the time I gave birth (6 weeks premature) and was stuck. Luckily.. my Mum stepped in and became super-woman. While i was in hospital recovering, she went and bought EVERYTHING that I needed! If it wasn't for my Mum, I don't know what I would have done because I was on my own back then.

Get stuck into it.. and enjoy!

 

[HollyHobby]

Can't you just go get things yourself?
I think if I had to wait for my husbands say so we'd have nothing at all - i think it's a man thing!!!, As it is we need very little now cos I've been so in a hurry to get everything and don't want to wait - he's just got to grin and bear it really. I got the pram/car seat/buggy at less than 6 weeks and I just told him to shut up I'm getting it before he could even say to wait!

I'd be tempted next time he says something is pointless to tell him thats what he is!!

and i dont think it's your hormones at all, I think youre being sensible! You're only going to get bigger and more tired and shopping is all part of the fun to the build up.

 

[DaisieBee]

Can't you just go get things yourself?

I know I should but wanted the first time we got stuff for us to choose together. Bit idealistic maybe.
Also, i lost my job at 2 months and as was so ill at beginning of pregnancy we agreed that I would work part-time. Was once main earner so has been very strange changing this and at the moment have very little money of my own and so dont like to buy things without checking. God, I sound like a 1950s housewife!!!!!

I read DH both of your replies, he didnt say much but I think the point was made. Still feel very emotional but less like I am losing my mind

 

[scones]

Have some of these hunni

I can totally see why you are upset, the baby is in your body thats why you have all these feelings, maybe your partner is feeling a bit disconnected from having the baby until it is here, this is maybe a self preservation should anything go wrong (God forbid), Ive heard the old wives tales about not having pram etc etc in case of bad luck but pfft thats rubbish, Im buying stuff!!

See if maybe you can set a date in the diary this week when you can both have a little shop, have a budget or something and go and spend, it might spur him on to take you out weekly spending money. I tend to bring stuff home and hubby says aww thats nice and it goes in the drawer in the spare room (babys room), Im getting quite a collection now.

As for feeling upset and down, Ive had a week like that and only tonight am I starting to feel myself and more positive xxxxxxx

Hope it gets better hun, hey maybe shop online together, have you thought about that possibility? Or look at stuff and say 'hey come and look at this ....'

 

[gems]

I completely understand how you feel hun. Last pregnancy I couldn't relax until I had everything ready for my LO to arrive. My OH didn't seem to understand my need to make everything perfect before LO came. In the end I did most of the planning and buying stuff by myself or with my mum. Maybe if you can start getting some bits it will spur him on a bit? Anyway hun have some hugs xxx

 

[meandthebump]

I am itching to start shopping and have written my list of what to buy. So far i haven't bought anything as we're waiting til after the scan. My DH thinks it's still early to shop but i don't care - after the scan tomorrow I AM SHOPPING! I think it's just different for the men. They don't have the baby moving and growing inside them so feel more removed from it. For us girls it's always at the forefront of our minds and we want to have everything ready for our most precious of arrivals. Do a bit of shopping on your own so you can start your nest and he'll come around soon hopefully. I think my DH won't believe we're actually having a baby until it's actually here!

 

[DaisieBee]

Thank You so much. I cant tell you how much better it has made me feel reading your replys. To be able to think that the need to get ready for baby is instinct and that is why i felt so bad has made be feel more like a normal pregnant person and less like a crazy hormonal nutter lol!!!

I have bought a couple of bits online tonight and talked to DH about it all and think we are ok now - he says that he does feel unconnected with baby, unlike me as is all i can think about, and that this is normal. Think he is a bit worried about money too, but he understands how i felt and we will go shopping and enjoy the build up to our little prince/princess arriving.

 

[allycat]

It's not too early to start getting prepared for little one's arrival! You and your OH def need to start thinking about it and looking together!

Me and my OH have made a list of stuff we need for baby and it's at 30 already! There's so much stuff to buy and I'm waiting for my maternity allowance so I can start getting it all. I plan to do most of it online, but we've been to Mothercare and Babies R Us a few times to get an idea of the stuff we want.

It's only natural you'd wanna start getting prepared now and it is exciting going round the shops looking for stuff! Hope you manage to convince your OH of that! xxx