the downside to feminism

[glitzyglamgirl]

thats exactly how I feel jenna, I want to be that mum who stays at home and bakes and does loads of creative stuff with the kids, not just until they start school but until they leave home! Thats just not possible these days though is it, unless OH gets a job thats double his current income, and thats just not going to happen either - not his fault he has a great job with great wages, its just not enough to pay a mortgage and support a family these days.

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

GGG - would you have to return to full time work after having a baby too? I was able to gice up my ft job which made me sooo miserable about 18 months ago. I've enjoyed my time working pt most of the time and a bit of ft - with v little responsibility and I'm ready to go back for a while now. The extra money will be nice and when I work - housework is equally shared. But if I get my bfp - I'll be looking to only return part time for a while no matter how short the money.

As for the get a job thing - I've had this a couple of times when Dh is stressed, (not about money - I sort all that out he doesn't even know who our mortgage is with) so I stopped doing so much housework for a few days....he soon learnt what my job was when he had no clean clothes

Yes I would have to go back to work, its financially impossible for me not to

 

[jools221181]

My husband and I both work for Royal Mail so due to the time we have to be at work we cannot both carry on working there!

We can only just manage on one wage so it was decided I wouldn't return to work!

Don't get me wrong I love the fact I can be with my son full time but I do feel very guilty!

 

[frangelle]

I'm not going back to work til this LO is at school and then only if the hours fit conveniently around schooling hours, I definately want to be able to take them and pick them up from school.

You could get a job in a school? (depending on what you do for a living normally, but there are quite a few different jobs in a school other than teaching).

The only problem with that is there won't be enough hours, for me to be better off than our tax credits.We struggle financially as it is, and everything will be stopped, so what with petrol money to pay as well we will be even worse off. To make it worth my while I would have to do about 40 hours a week soI would need a weekend and evening job. They've competely slashed our credits as it is coz OH got a 2p pay rise!!!

 

[Urchin]

I currently work 1 day a week in a creche, my OH says his goal is to earn enough that I don;t have to work at all. He's South African and that's kinda how they do things over there.
I don't want to rely on him too much though, so have set up my little fingerprint pendant business and sell things on ebay etc to make a bit of extra money.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I like being at home with my son and hope i will love it even more when the baby comes, but im sick of being expected to do everything because i dont work, my dh quit his job last week to concentrate on finding a career in admin work and still exsoects me to everything.
For me there has to be equality in life and relationships andf caring for children.

When dh was out of work and on benfits i went to work, earned the crust and still hads to come home and clear up after him - now tell me is that fair?
Im expected to do everything when this baby comes in a few weeks and im not going to, will i really be selfish by rebelling and saying sod you all do it yourself for once? I know his mum will help but her standered ofr cleaning isnt mine and when i have a baby about i want the place cleaned properly.
She has a little norfolk terrier who when it sleeps on the sofas loeaves dog hair all over the blankets and im washingf them every day cos i persoanlly dont want animal hair on my clothes and the same applys to my son as well as my baby.Im also hoovering twice a day just to keep on top of it all. And they all sit there and look at me while im doing it!!!

This is why i want to get my kids sorted out and get back to work bercause i know me and dh will come to blows over his lack of care.Theres no way i could stay at home and put up with that.

Sorry for the rant but can anyone else see where im coming from because i want to bang my head against the wall at the moment

 

[libs]

absolutely Mrs T

 

[annie4]

i wihs i acould afford to stay at home with my kids - but the older they get - the more expensive they are - ive just paid for an orchastra camp for one 90quid plus clothes and spends; basketball camp for another 100 plus new trainers/spends/food - music exams (both boys play 2 instruments and have just taken grading exams) - new school uniforms are now due for all 3 and we are du to go on hols on friday - on the other side - i think going to work means that i dont get bored etc (im a bit prone to depression so getting out of the house is very important for me)
BTW - my dd (4ys) is def. a feminist - she announced last week that when she is a mummy she is going to have lots of children, have them do all the cleaning, the daddy do all the shopping and cooking, while she 'rests' (may be a reflection of how tired i am at the minute)

 

[Happybunny]

Feminism has at least given us a choice I suppose...we can choose to be SAHMs or working mums. I am glad to have the choice...I would be cross if I was forced either way.

Choice is the key thing here! There is no right or wrong, everyone is different, has different needs and aspirations, so at least we have the option to stay at home or work. That choice is made more difficult, I realise though, if money is tight, then the option to be a SAHM becomes more difficult to attain.

I personally have always wanted to be a SAHM...my parents worked ALL the time when I was younger. We had a nice house and lovely toys, but I missed my parents. We were passed from carer to carer.

My OH and I made a financial plan from the word go. We have a tiny terraced house and live on one salary. Our friends think we're mad as we are both professionals and could afford a big 4 bedroom detached house (and I do envy theirs sometimes)...but we are looking at the bigger picture...small house, small outgoings means that I can give up work and stay at home to look after my baby.

Life is fluid, I can change my mind if being a SAHM isn't all I thought it would be. I can always go back part time too when my child is of school age...being a teacher is great as supply is easy to come by and you are off when your child is off.

 

[Dee1985]

i love working, i would hate to stay at home fulltime.

but i would hate to work 5days a weektoo

i work 2 days a week and it suits me fine