Telling another child off?

[kirlou92]

So this is a random post! I've just taken my 15 month old to soft play and I watched a child (age 3ish) go round and kick, hit and shove other children with no parent in sight. He came up to my DD and went to shove her, he looked at me as he was about to do it so I didn't say anything I just shook my head slightly. He ran off crying

A few mins later he hit a toddler in the face and the toddlers mum said no to him and wagged her finger. She didn't raise her voice or put her hand on the child. WELL the naughty child's mother came out of nowhere and went into a full blown argument with this other mum. She said 'your a bad parent, you should have come to me first, you don't have a right to scald my child!'

What do you think? Which mum was justified. I wouldn't mind if someone said no to my DD especially if she was being really naughty.

 

[GBLiz]

i think its reasonable to say no to someone elses child especially in a soft play where you dont always know which child belongs to who! i would have told him that was not acceptable and then found the mum too and said what he was doing!!

unfortunately you can see fro some parents reactions why their children are so rebellious! they are being told nobody has the right to tell them how to behave!

 

[kirlou92]

i think its reasonable to say no to someone elses child especially in a soft play where you dont always know which child belongs to who! i would have told him that was not acceptable and then found the mum too and said what he was doing!!

unfortunately you can see fro some parents reactions why their children are so rebellious! they are being told nobody has the right to tell them how to behave!

I agree! I was glad I only shook my head and she didn't see me cuz I don't think I would have handled being shouted at by her, she was on one! The other woman picked up her child and left and she was still shouting at her until she was out the door

 

[Donna88]

I'm surprised the staff didn't step in

She was bang out of order. Like you say no wonder her child is so naughty clearly never told right from wrong

 

[Karenb]

I’ve said ‘no, please don’t do that’ before in a soft play environment as they can’t just go round hurting others. I wouldn’t mind if someone said no to my daughter as long as not really nasty. They’re only kids but they still need to be told if too rough x

 

[Shepherdess]

this is something that really gets me mad tbh. my nearly 3 year old has never hit another child, and currently I can say that she wouldn't. she's sensitive and quite an introvert. if another child is acting up she'll usually come straight to me and stay with me until things calm down. I firmly believe she shouldn't have to put up with anyone hitting her. she has been shoved in the past and will come to me upset about it, it knocks her confidence massively. for this reason I tend to watch her like a hawk and if I did see a child hit her I would say something. not likea big telling off but I'd certainly say "that's not nice" and try and find their parent

if my child ever did behave badly I'd have no problem with someone saying something. I'd go mad if an adult scared her but have no problem with saying no

 

[EllieH]

The thing is, we’re all responsible parents and would keep an eye on our children and would know and stop their actions, should they do such a thing and discipline them how we see fit.

I’m trying not to judge, but obviously this child knows it’s not going to be told off and carries on behaving how it pleases, because the mum isn’t keeping an eye on him, I’m not saying you need to watch your children like a hawk (not that there is anything wrong with that, if you wish to) everyone likes a meet up with friends and a chat but you need to know your child is ok and not hurting others. The mother was obviously very defensive as she hadn’t been watching him and all she saw was him being told off.

I feel for the mum who got a mouth full, the woman shouting obviously knew she was going to get away with giving it too as if it was me being shouted at, I would have given it back and complained to the staff.

Child only follows from example...

 

[KHTW]

I have absolutely no problem telling kids that are not mine off, if they attack my child (or other) for no reason. Just like I tell mine off when she is pushing other kids. If that is not working I will source and speak to their parents and as last resort to staff.

By the time you find the parent who did not see what was going on the child is already busy doing other things and most likely will not even be reprimanded by the parent.

 

[kirlou92]

Thanks for the replies ladies, it's reassuring to hear you all feel the same way!

 

[Kimi89]

Is things like this that put me off going to certain soft play areas. Some parents just seem to let their kids loose to run wild while they have a good chin way with a friend.

 

[Kholl]

Children are not precious little flowers who need to be shielded from the world. Once you allow your child out into society, you subject him/her to society's rules. It doesn't do a kid any favors to be allowed to do whatever (s)he wants. Often the reprimand or response of an adult who isn't a parent or primary caregiver is much more effective. I believe strongly that kids need feedback from the world, not just their mommy who's going to coddle them and protect them from the consequences of their actions! How would that actually help a kid learn how to navigate the world and grow into a decent human being?

Once a little girl SHOVED my son (he was less than a year old!) and he fell down hard; his back was to her, he didn't even see her coming, she just ran up to him and shoved him over. I VERY GENTLY corrected her (she was quite young too, maybe 2.5) and her mom was furious with me. I was calm and stood my own. It's good for kids to know that what they do has consequences. Unless you want them to grow up entitled, immature, and whiny. God knows we already have enough adults who are like that...!

So in short: you did the right thing. I hope a parent would reprimand my own child if (s)he were behaving that way. I would thank that mom or dad who said something.

 

[WinterWolf]

I always tell little brats off. If parents have a problem with strangers stepping in then they should be disciplining their own kids! If you let them run wild as toddlers, they're not going to behave when they're older. Most of the parents of children like that are too busy playing on their phones to notice anyway.