Tell me if im over reacting please - wedding issue.

[Melanie]

First a bit of background, my best mate Catherine lives with a bloke i detest, he's not good enough for her, he's emotionally abusive to her and every time i see him i want to slap his face and tell him what i think of him!

Cath popped round to see me yesterday ( we grew up together and now we live 5 miles from each other in Yorkshire). She had spent the weekend back home in Durham. She was upset and told me that she had cried all the way back from Durham in the car (just under 2hrs away) because her boyfriend had been giving her a hard time over the phone all weekend while she was away. He sent her abusive text messages, rang over and over again etc so she switched her phone off. She didn't want to go home. Then she tells me that he left her a voicemail laughing down the phone like a maniac and said because she had switched off her phone he had decided to teach her a lesson so he had set fire to my wedding dress!!!! (its at Cath's house so Richard doesn't see it and she is my chief bridesmaid). She was frightened to go and check!
So the dress is fine, he was just saying it because he knew it was something that was guaranteed to send her into a total panic. He was messing with her head.
I told her to go pack and bag and come stay here with me but she wont. She knows she needs to leave him but she just cant make the step.
Anyway back to my question, after that i spent all night unable to sleep, i just kept imagining getting a phone call to say that 4 days before my wedding that arsehole has set my dress on fire. It sounds silly i know but i cant stop thinking about it,. I mean who says stuff like that! I want to tell Cath to bring my dress here to my house tonight (she is supposed to be taking it to Scotland) and that i don't want to see her boyfriend on my wedding day now, i just don't want him there at all.

I am over reacting? It will probably cause problems for Cath if i say that he cant come now but i just don't want him there. Actually what i want to do is punch him in the mouth!

 

[Misslarue]

You are def not overreacting, he sounds like a complete $%^£"$^
But its a tricky one hun. You need to play this very carefully

Obviously you don't care about him (being a tw@t and all) but like you say this will cause problems for your mate. Could it even end up with her not coming as well?

I have been in a similar situation in the past and also right now. My little brother went out with this girl who was a complete control freak. I made the mistake of saying exactly what I thought and ended up pushing him towards her and isolated him even further from his family and friends. It took him 3 years to finally see sense.
My best mate is now going out with the biggest waste of space ever. He is such a loser, I cannot stand him. He's 45, he's got a drug habit, no job, no money, no prospects and he treats her like cr@p. I just try and be there for her and although me and my OH can't stand him, I tolerate him for my mate.

I would ask for the dress back. What he said was unforgivable and you have no reason to trust he wouldn't But personaly I wouldn't stop him coming, if only for my mate. These kind of people play on these situations and will no doubt use it as ammunition against you, to mess with her mind even further. The clearer she see's what an ar$ehole he is the better.

Good luck with what you decide hun, its a horrible situation to be in

 

[nazmomi]

Ah hun I dont think your over reacting, I got married a few months ago and it's stressful enough without all of this!!

I honestly don't think that anything will happen to your dress,he's prob all talk, but he certainly doesn't sound like the kind of person that you could feel comfortable with to look after it. If it's going to stress you out that much then I would just bring the dress home. Will your OH be good enough not to have a peek? or is there someone else who could look after it for you ?
I'm sure if you explaned to your friend how all of this has made you feel she would understand.
As for him being at your wedding thats a really hard decision. obviously you want your friend there and dont want an atmosphere with her, but I can understand why you wouldnt want him to be a part of your special day. Chances are he would be frightened of everyone else seeing what an idiot he really is and be on his best behaviour all day, and you could ignore the fact that he was even there.
Hard as it sounds try not to let it all ruin your big day, If you eally dont want him there then talk to your riend and tell her how you feel.

I hope it works out and I hope you have a fantastic day, and remember that it's better things go wrong before hand that can be sorted out than on the day itself!! (voice of experience lol, my dress was trashed by a dry cleaner 5 days before the wedding and thanks to a fantastic local wedding dress shop I ended up with a nicer dress and my day was more perfect than I ever imagined!)

good luck

 

[mummykay]

jeez, i dont think ur overeactin at all

def get ur dress back, ur mates abit trickier like Jo says cos u want her at ur wedding but if hes bein a total tosspot I dont understand why she would wanna stick around to be with him. hope shes ok tho, hugs to u too

 

[xkikix]

I'd get the dress back! Can you send a male friend or even your fiance to get it (he wont see it if its wrapped up?)

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Melanie get your dress and kee working on your friend, he sounds bloody awful and shes obviously far too ood for him.

Sadly though she will have to see him for herself what a dick he is.

 

[nori]

What a twat! I would go round and get the dress and make sure the idiot is there when you do! I'd then have it out with him and say if you are gonna be like that id rather you werent at the wedding!

Saying all this, it may make it worse for your mate. Hopefully she will see the light at some point and leave the b&stard!

Claire x

 

[trixipaws]

no ur not overreacting. asshole! GET YOUR DRESS!

 

[lfc_sarah]

Defo get your dress

 

[rusks]

no way he sounds like a complete lunatic and i would be worried about your dress and your friend

 

[Princess_Puddles]

I dont think you're overreacting at all, I hope your dress will be safe for the big day!!

 

[Slinky Sarah]

i tell you what hun if you dont want it at yours ill keep hold of it for you at mine if you like? (im only about 5 miles away too in Bramley) and ill meet you the day before you go to give you it if you like?

your def not over reacting though, fooking twat