Surprising response from friends...

[Lander]

Hi again Ladies,

I've spoken to two of my best friends about the possibility of OH and I TTC next year and was rather taken back to have both of them say 'Don't you want to be married first?'

Well, ideally yes I would but to be honest, I'm not that fussed if I get married afterwards and my family certainly don't have a problem with 'baby first' arrangements, Plus my Mum and Dad would both be very happy to be Grandparents OH is an uncle to five LOs already so it was actually more of a 'So when are you having one?' from his side!

Also, I'll be turning 30 in July next year, and with my history of ovarian cysts and sometimes irregular cycles I'd rather try sooner than later. Putting it off by up to three years or more (saving for a wedding etc and then if really lucky having baby nine months later) seems like a dodgy idea to me.

Neither OH or I are strongly religious, I'm rather Pagan and he's just not fussed.

Wondering just how well my mates actually know me now....?

 

[CupcakeMummy]

I often get surprised by just how traditional people can be. Especially people our age.

You do whatever you feel is right! Xxx

 

[LouiseB]

lol, well i can't deny that i would be one of those friends.

It's not necessarily them not knowing you, but feeling they know what is best for you.

If your partner dies, heaven forbid, are you going to fight with his family for your home and your money because it's gone to them?

Or after you have kids, have a wad of money held in trust for your children while you have to skrimp and save just to make ends meet?

At the very least, go and get your wills drawn up

Marriage only costs about £300 and great if you are a pagan because you can keep it minimalist

 

[Princess81]

I have to say I'm not worried about being married at all. I used to be married, very briefly when I was far too young. I've been with o/h for nearly 8 years now and we've had our house together for 5 so I feel I'm more committed to this relationship than I was to my marriage. To me, having a baby with someone is more commitment then marriage anyway, I was able to walk away from my marriage with no ties to the ex-husband, but having a baby with someone you have that link with them for life. I dunno, just to me it doesn't seem important. O/h is a bit more interested in marriage beofre kids, not interested enough to pop the question tho

 

[Lander]

Yeah, OH is not Pagan though so would more likely be something Civil and then a party, a bit like his friends, who had a really simple ceremony and then dinner for 15 at a Slug and Lettuce (two weeks after they had their baby!! lol).

He's not asked me to marry him 'cos he thinks he can't afford a ring for the engagement PMSL, I told him I'd pointed out the nice lil £150 one I liked, I don't need a big rock

It's not about never getting married for us though, just, more than likely having a baby first

Lxx

 

[Tracey M]

I got married in The Gambia, all it cost was £250 and the holiday was only £250 each, the weather was amazing and had a blast - wedding and honeymoon all rolled into one! Erm actually I conceived my son at the same time!!! Wedding/honeymoon baby - saved a fortune!! Oh and been married 5 years in December and still never had an engagement ring..... It can be done.... Sounds like you want to get married..... why not do both??

 

[Lander]

I got married in The Gambia, all it cost was £250 and the holiday was only £250 each, the weather was amazing and had a blast - wedding and honeymoon all rolled into one! Erm actually I conceived my son at the same time!!! Wedding/honeymoon baby - saved a fortune!! Oh and been married 5 years in December and still never had an engagement ring..... It can be done.... Sounds like you want to get married..... why not do both??

I'll just run that past OH..... lol