Subsequent Pregnancy after neonatal loss

[skyla1978]

Hello all,

I'm new to this form and am looking for some advice. In April 2011 I gave birth to my son at 40 weeks + 6 days. Unfortunately, we were not monitored adequately during the birth and he was starved of oxygen due to a cord accident. He stayed with us for two days, but too much damage had been done and we had to let him go. This past year has been the hardest in my life and I still don't feel like I've fully comes to terms with what happened. However, on the day of the one year anniversary of his death I found out I was pregnant.
Initially I was absolutely estatic and felt like the luckiest girl in the world. However, I am now 6 weeks and the fear and anxiety have set in. We went to see our GP last week so he could book us into the hospital. I asked him whether I would be able to have a planned c-section this time, he didn't think it would be a problem but said that ultimately it would be down to the OB/midwife to decide. So, I have a few questions...
- Has anyone been through something similar and gone on to have a healthy pregnancy/baby?
- Will this pregnancy be considered 'high risk' and will I be monitored more closely?
- Is it likely that I will be able to have a c-section?

I have found a lot of information on this from American websites, but obviously their maternity care differs from NHS care. Mainly I just want to know whether there is a standard protocol for subsequent pregnancies after a neonatal death?

Thank you for taking the time to read my post xx

 

[Titch85]

I have no experience in this but just wanted to say that I am sorry for your loss and hope you get all the support you need this time around!

 

[kedi376]

I am unable to answer your questions, but didn't want to read and run. Sorry for loss, I can't imagine the year you've had. However, congratulations on your new bean. I hope this pregnancy is everything you want it to be xxx

 

[Princess81]

I'm really very sorry to hear of the loss of your son, how tragic
Many congratulations on your pregnancy as well xx
There are girls on here who have lost their babies soon after birth so I am hopin that's they will be able to offer you some good advice. Hopefully you'll have an understanding consultant who will do everything they can to alleviate your fears xx

 

[jojo3972]

hiya many congrats on ur preg and i am realy sorry about the loss of ur precious son, as for ur section i think u will be alowed it my friend had a still born 2 yrs ago she is now preg again and is like u very worried and she is having a planned section as her baby had died a few days b4 her due date so is planned to have a section 2 weeks b4 her due date, and yes i think u will be classed as high risk and will be monitored more closely, hope eevrything goes ok for you xxxx

 

[heartbroken]

Hi skyla, im so sorry for the loss of ur baby boy.. Cannot believe the hospital did not moniter you properly! I lost my son 19 months ago but he was stillborn due to a brain abnormalty at 36 weeks.. Like u i found out i was pregnant again 3 days before his first anneversary.. The hospital took good care of me, i had scans every 3-4 wks and saw my consultant every 2-3 wks.. I was induced at 38 wks and am just after having another baby boy 4 days ago.. You will worry throughout the pregnancy its only normal.. And whatever you want dont be afraid to tell the doctors.. I wish u all the best an if u have any questions just ask il be happy to help xxx

 

[Gayle30]

God-so sorry to read your heartbreaking story. I have no experience of what ur going through but wanted to offer support.

I am currently 17+3 pregnant with my first. I have a few health issues but not indications for a section. However, I believe I know what is best for me as only me knows my body and I requested a c section. I met with my consultant after some serious research and she listened to my fears and has granted my wish.

You need to research things like the Winterton and Cumberledge report and Maternal Choice. Every woman in the uk has an option on how they deliver so don't let anyone pressure you. The NHS don't obviously advertise the maternal choice option but it is very real and must be respected.

My advice is ask to be referred to consultant and do ur research. You should be fully prepared to have to put your point across but you if anyone have a very very valid reason for this request.

If u need any help I'm happy to post the stuff I collected to you-its all printed oFf. Just send me a pm iF u need anything.

Sending congratulations on this little bundle. Lots of love Gayle. Xx

Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk

 

[flisstebbs]

So sorry for your loss, that sounds like a horrendous experience. Are you going back to the same hospital? They really should be pulling out all the stops to offer you whatever you need for piece of mind. Don't be afraid to ask for a second opinion or different consultant if you are unhappy with the first one you see.

As said above, maternal choice should be honoured as long as it is well informed.

Good luck. xxx

 

[joellen]

skyla1978
Hello. I am amazed to read your post as I have just suffered a very similar loss to yours. My son died 8 days after birth on November 14, 2012. I was allowed to labor in 2nd stage for over 6 hours and then he went into distress. Upon birth, he was horribly damaged and placed in hypothermia for 3 days. It was too much for him and he was removed from his respirator 8 days after his birth. He suffered asphyxia...his cord was around his neck but it is not definite that that caused the damage. However, the hospital has admitted fault that normal safety protocol was not followed and perhaps this could have been prevented. Absolute nightmare.
You are not alone.
Anyhow, although it is so short after his death - due to my age (41 in 2 weeks), I want to have a baby still.
Let me know what info you find out. And if you want communicate, please let me know.
All the best to you.
Jo

 

[k8_005]

Never had your experiance but yes you will be high risk and they should do far more for you this time what amawful experiance for you iI wish you all the best I cannot know the horror and angst youust have gone through my own losses were far earlier on. Condolances and best wishes xxx