Struggling

[Rachaellius]

Hi Ladies I know we're all suffering with hormones atm but I just wanted to see really if this is normal.
I'm really struggling at the moment, I just can't stop crying! I'm blubbering my eyes up atm. The last few days I've felt so run down and lonely. My OH works stupid 1pm til 9pm shifts and with me being on Mat Leave now I spend all day at home on my own. I don't drive either so can't really get about much.
Plus I just seem to be struggling to do the simplest of tasks like washing up and cooking and housework etc, I just start to feel dizzy and tired really quickly and have to sit down.
Plus we have serious money worries at the moment and thats really worrying me, like some important bills havn't been paid this month
I'm trying to do productive things to make me feel better but I just completely lack any motivation and instead just end up sitting there in tears.
I've tried to talk to my OH about it when he's not at work but he just tells me how I should be enjoying my time off work and I'm being silly etc. When all I really want is just a hug and some sympathy.
And now to top it off I'm really worried about the effect I'm having on baba
Really don't know what to do
x

 

[prettypenguin]

You're not on your own hun I'm exactly the same, right now I'm lying in bed tired and the only major thing I've done all morning is take the dog out and eat and watch Jeremy Kyle! I've been on mat leave for about 6 weeks and feel lonely as my OH works 8 til 6 and I'm in the house all day with no car etc. Are you sleeping okay at night? I find if I've had a rubbish sleep I'm really teary and lack motivation all next day. I haven't found a solution to sleeping better sometimes if I have a warm bath that helps. But the reason u have time off is to rest, so what if the housework isn't finished its not the end of the world although it is hard to not feel guilty. Just think about you and the baby, although u prob feel like you're not doing much your body is working overtime growing a baby. Maybe just do a little bit of housework each day then it won't all pile up? And maybe have 1 day or evening a week where you get together with your friends, it might break up the week a little bit and give you something to look forward to whilst not wearing u out at the same time xx

 

[Rachaellius]

Thanks prettypenguin, yeah in regards to the housework I'm just trying to do little bits at a time. Not done anything at all so far today though other than not get dressed, sit in bed, watch tv, eat and cry! lol.
I just feel really useless and wish my OH was a bit more understanding about it all, he just expects me to snap out of it and I really wish I could. It's a bit scary though cos I suffered with depression years ago and I feel as useless and crappy now as I did back then and I keep thinking that I need to snap out of it and do something about it but it's so much easier said than done if you know what I mean.
My OH is one of those people though that doesnt understand people with depression and thinks people do it for attention and that its not a proper medical condition. Very annoying!
I think I'll probably feel heaps better when the money situation is sorted out it's pretty dire atm but it really doesnt help when he wants to go out with his mates at the weekend and goes out and buys fags for himself when he knows how skint we are!
Sorry your feeling pretty low at the moment too. Fingers crossed things get better ay
x

 

[nikki8092]

Aw hun i really feel for you, everyone says what a happy time being pregnant should be and we should feel good about it blah blah blah. Truth is its not always plain sailing. If you have suffered with depression before then there is a strong chance you can suffer in pregnancy with it. (As told by my midwife as i got pnd with my last) Just remember your doc/MW are there to help so if you are feeling down then speak to them. I know its not easiest thing to do when you feel crappy but exercise does wonders for your mood. xx

 

[prettypenguin]

Money problems always get ppl very stressed and insecure in their situation and on top of that your emotions will be all over the place. Perhaps you could sit down with your OH and work out the bills that need paying and the things you need to cut back on, such as nights out and cigarettes. It will probably be impossible to cut these out completely but maybe buy cheaper cigarettes and instead of.nights out have friends over (if you're like me and like the house to yourself maybe go to a friends or family's house.if he has people round?) As for him not understanding your feelings it sometimes can be hard for people to understand situations they've never experienced, maybe you could have q word with your midwife and see if u can talk to anyone? Or start attending antenatal classes with other mums who can relate to what you're feeling and if you can get your OH to go maybe he will be more involved and understanding? Just a few ideas, i wish I'd have gone to classes as I've drifted from my friends but a bit late now x

 

[Rachaellius]

Yeah I had my MIL round last night saying how much she loved pregnancy and informed me I look like shit!! Such a charming woman!
I realised we need something for dinner though so think I'm going to get myself up and dressed and looking presentable and walk to the shops. Thats if my OH has left me any money that is :/
I think I'm gonna give myself a day or so and ring the doc If I'm not feeling any better, I don't want to be affecting LO xx

 

[Rachaellius]

Money problems always get ppl very stressed and insecure in their situation and on top of that your emotions will be all over the place. Perhaps you could sit down with your OH and work out the bills that need paying and the things you need to cut back on, such as nights out and cigarettes. It will probably be impossible to cut these out completely but maybe buy cheaper cigarettes and instead of.nights out have friends over (if you're like me and like the house to yourself maybe go to a friends or family's house.if he has people round?) As for him not understanding your feelings it sometimes can be hard for people to understand situations they've never experienced, maybe you could have q word with your midwife and see if u can talk to anyone? Or start attending antenatal classes with other mums who can relate to what you're feeling and if you can get your OH to go maybe he will be more involved and understanding? Just a few ideas, i wish I'd have gone to classes as I've drifted from my friends but a bit late now x

Yeah all my friends have drifted away too, they never want to do anything other than go clubbing! I've tried asking them out for lunch, shopping or round mine but I always end up getting let down at the last minute. I've booked my antenatal classes and really looking forward to them, so I can meet more people I can relate to. They start at the end of this month. Trouble is though my OH isn't going to be able to come to them cos he's not long started a new job and the antenatal classes are held on a saturday which his new job requires him to work.
I know we're legally allowed time off for antenatal classes but I'm not sure what it is for men.
x

 

[prettypenguin]

I'm not sure either but at least if you go you'll meet other people who could be due the same time too so you could really build strong friendships not everyone will be bringing their OH of even have OH supporting them. I think it will really benefit you, its silly how some people can say they love being pregnant but tbh once you've left work yes you get more time to rest but it can be very lonely and if there's noone around who's been in your place you can feel really alienated and left out. I only have a few friends and they don't mind coming round, the ones who I'm supposed to be closest to always make rude and negative comments so I don't invite them round, however my friends from work who I didn't think were that interested are coming over tonight which is a nice surprise x

 

[Rachaellius]

Aww nice of friends to come and see you. I wouldn't mind at all if OH had his friends round ours, at least it'd mean I'd get to socialise too lol. But he won't, it's not his normal mates he wants to go out with its his work mates and I've never met any of those before :/ x

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I know how hard it is for u hun.. My OH leaves for work at 8:15 am and he still isn't home now!
I struggle to wash up or even get the kids ready for bed let alone the school run! I've got so much I want to do around the house but I can't coz I'm in and out of hosp and can't do sod all
Money worries are hard we are really struggling at the mo and it gets on top of u..
Nothing I can say to make you feel better, but just know your not alone things find a way of sorting themselves out and you'll be able to do more once your beautiful baby is here

 

[Rachaellius]

Aww thanks Jayceesmumma...
You're right things do normally come good in the end. I just need to find a bit more of a positive attitude I think. I feel a little bit better today, still a bit tearful but telling myself I need to snap out of it for baby's sake.
Bless you, here making everyone else feel better when you're going through it yourself. Hope you and LO are okay

 

[littlemiss83]

I haven't been through everything that you have but I totally agree with what everyone has said. With regards to money worries, it really is better once you get involved in it all, sit with all the bills write a list of who you need to phone with the phone numbers, phone them one by one & tick them off, most should be willing to set up payment plans.

It must be really hard to be stuck in the house all day, i'm on Mat leave & also finding it hard to get motivated, i'm ready for a nap after only doing the school run. & haven't done much in the way of housework for a few days & I beat myself up too much about it.

 

[Rachaellius]

I know what you mean about beating yourself up about the housework, I'm so frustrated with myself that I can't do everything I want to do, like cleaning the cupboards out, been waiting for my OH to finish the glossing he started 3 months ago and just generally clearing out junk :/
I've decided to try not to worry about it though and so long as the basics are done like washing up, hoovering and washing I've decided the rest will have to wait until I feel up to it. Although the OH can do the glossing cos I'm not sure about the fumes with gloss lol.
xx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Aww thanks Jayceesmumma...
You're right things do normally come good in the end. I just need to find a bit more of a positive attitude I think. I feel a little bit better today, still a bit tearful but telling myself I need to snap out of it for baby's sake.
Bless you, here making everyone else feel better when you're going through it yourself. Hope you and LO are okay

Ur very welcome.. We r getting there just seems like there's new crap to deal with every day today has been such a struggle for me and I hate the stress it must be causing the baby
Everyone has been so supportive of me and my ranting lol it's the least I can do! I really hope u start to feel better soon it's not nice being so down all the time

 

[suzzi]

ive just posted a thread as im feeling like that today x could cry my eyes out xxxxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

ive just posted a thread as im feeling like that today x could cry my eyes out xxxxx

I'll cry today with you.. Updated my thread too