Struggling

[Jaidy]

Ladies,

I feel I have to get this off my chest because its doing my head in.

Deep breath....

As some of you are aware I suffer from depression and panic attacks (due to a chemical imbalance in the brain) and have been on medication to keep it under control for 7 years on and off.

I came off the tablets when I was about 3 months pregnant and had a bit of cold turkey (physically) to begin with but generally felt ok. I have been suffering with more panic attacks due to not being on my medication which is one of the reasons ive been signed off for the rest of my pregnancy.

The thing is though, im really starting to struggle now not being on the medication. I am finding it difficult sleeping and am worrying about everything, which are two classic signs that I know I am battling. Im also feeling extremely emotional and am being totally irrational about everything. Day to day chores are becoming hard and im more reluctant about going out because im having more painc attacks, its all a viscious circle tbh.

However, im NOT going back on the medication because im prepared to try and fight it for the sake of my baby. I just had to get this off my chest though, talk about it and open up because other wise it becomes too much of a burden. I know il probably need to go back on the medication as soon as the baby is born and to be honest il be glad of it. I gotta be strong I suppose but it probably doesnt help with all my hormones surging round, not the greatest for someone who has a hormonal imbalance and on no meds as it is lol

Sorry to be a winger, thanks for listening, its made me feel better anyhow

 

Sending you big big big hugs babe, speaking to you on MSN now

 

[budge]

jade i think a lot of the symptoms you've described are normal pregnancy ones anyway so don't worry yourself too much.

to you and hope you feel better soon.

 

[Tasha20]

Winge away Jaidy we all do it and I always feel much better for it.

I have never sufferd with panic attacks so I don't know how you feel but I am a great listener like all the ladies including yourself.

It sounds to me and from talking to you over the past 6 months that your doing very well dont be hard on yourself you sound as if you doing a great job without the tablets, your strong remember and you will get thru this

 

[Vicki83]

We're all entitled to a good whinge every now and again, it's good to get everythjing off your chest hun, you know we are always here for you to talk to as well.

 

[skatty]

Awww Jaidy

You are doing really well, I don't have your history and I am also having a lot of sleepless nights and worry and I'm finding it quite hard to handle, so I kind of know how you are feeling.

Whinge as much as you like, it makes you feel better! can you try some alternative relaxation techniques or therapies? I'm sure you know more about this stuff than me but maybe aromatherapy? I have to say I'm a huge fan of lavender oil for helping me to relax and find a sprinkle on my pillow helps me sleep.

Katt x

 

[lozzi]

jade as you kno i went cold turkey on my tablets as you did, but i went off the rails and so im back on them now.

My consultant (obstratrion *sp?*) and my Psychiatrist said that my medication has NO affect on the baby, and after 3 months even if there was they wud prescibe as its unlikely after 3 months to affect.

im on citalopram 30mg daily.


If you go to ur GP they say

"no uve not to take any of them unless the benefit outweighs the risk"

but the ppl who are cheif sadi there isnt ANY risk and that i shud never have come off them...

i dont know if ur under a psychiatrist or anything? if so speak to them about what medication they feel u can have whilst pregnant as isnt it better to have the meds than feel poo especailly if there is no risk as there isnt anyway with mine

chat on msn if u wnat xx

 

[LucyBee]

Jaidy, poor you.
I went cold turkey on my anti-depressants too.
I totally agree with everything Lozzi said. If you're struggling, it's better for you and the baby if you go back on to the medication.
Have you told your doctor/midwife? Maybe you could get some counselling too? That might help?
Thinking of you. Lucyx

Just editing this as forgot to mention that my midwife referred me to a consultant because of my history of depression. I saw him a couple of weeks ago and he said to shout if I am feeling bad as there is stuff you can take that is safe for the baby. He said they normally try to wean you off or reduce down the dosage when you get close to your due date.
He was very reassuring about it. Lx

 

[sam96031]

i came off my meds before getting pregnant and my doc also said it wuldnt harm the baby so its worth asking at least ull get a chance to know for defo big for you
xxxx

 

[Rubys mummy]

Hi babes, just spotted this, PC been playing up
Firstly, big hugs
Came of Prozac before my BFP, had a feeling I was PG so stopped taking them...suffered depression and panic attacks last year after a health scare, it was the most lonely and frightening time of my life, no one understood how I felt, especially OH as I looked ok, it was just my mind that was a mess......
I am under a consultant at hozzie who had a chat to me on my antenatel appointments, they check I am coping being off the tablets, and some days I feel I am, but others I dont and it scares me. They have assured me that I shouldnt stuggle on, and the tablets dont harm the baby, and if I need them again, then not to battle on.
I am so frightened of the birth, I am getting anxious but like you I want to cope without them...then I am worrying about post natal depression etc......
Just wanted to share my story so you know you aint alone....always here for a chat on MSN if you need to.
Big hugs and loves to my gorgeous, brave and brillant twinny xxxxxx

 

[rusks]

oh jaidy sorry to hear you are struggling, it is so hard to come off medication anyway my mum suffers like you and she has been trying to come off them for years with no luck so you have done amazingly well. Some of the things you are describing are normal pregnancy worries but of course they are being excerbated due to your history as well. i really think you should talk to your doctor and see if they can advise you on anything that is safe in pregnancy. My mum had counselling for a while as well and it really helped her. We will always be here for you xx

 

[Dee1985]

your always there for me so im here for you too.
its awfull wouldnt wish this upon m y worst enimy. you have inspired me so much so dont you give up on me now, if it wasnt for our chat a while back about OCD i think i would have bottled it all up.

 

[Jaidy]

Oh thankies everyone, your words mean a lot to me. Its great to know I have the support of you lot on here, and that I can tell you how im feeling.

Im not so bad today..in a brighter mood, im just taking each day as it comes.

Im not going to reach for the anti-d's again just yet though, I will have to be at proper rock bottom to go back on them. My doctor obviously advised me to come off the tablets and thats what I have done and going back on would almost feel like im letting the baby down, I really want to be medication free for him. If I wasnt pregnant I wouldnt even be off the tablets, and I know people say they are ok to take but it must be better for the baby if they advise you to come off them.

Like I say, il go back on them if I really, really HAVE to but im determined to stick this out and see it through, even if I feel crappy. Im doing it the hard way I know but like I said im stubborn!

Thanks again though girlies, and special hugs to those who can truly see where I am, you know who you are

 

[Minime]

Citalopram/Cipramil is one of the hardest medications I have ever come off. It took me 6 months. I was on 60mgs a day for panic disorder and would literally convulse without them. I came off them by taking one 20mgs when I physically felt the need then managed to go a day then two then eventually a week but it took 6 months in total.

I found meditation helped and also removing myself from stress & triggers such as my ex husband


Jaidy, when you start to feel the panic rising remove yourself from what you are currently doing and do something different. Also you may not like it but put some classical music on. I listen to that going to work each morning and everyone thinks I'm really calm and dont get riled easily, puts me in the right frame of mind and has a calming effect