Struggling at 8 months...

[Rosieroo]

I know this has kind of been covered by Trixi but I'm having a hard time at the moment with breastfeeding and need some advice (this is looooong!).

DS is a terrible sleeper. This totally threw me as DD was brilliant, at this age she was sleeping 12+ hours a night and napping twice a day I think (once in the morning and once after lunch). He also feeds all the time and struggles with solids. It's very hard not to compare the two but I think he's pretty normal, DD was just quite advanced. At his age she was eating all finger food meals, I've got video of her picking up and eating pasta with gusto etc, I can't believe that now as DS isn't bothered finger foods at all and chokes really badly on them when he does have them.

Anyway I'm starting to reach the end of my tether with getting constantly woken up in the night for feeds and being used as a human dummy in the day at the moment. He is teething and has a cold so is looking for comfort, I understand that and it makes me feel bad that I'm losing my patience with breastfeeding. He's a very sicky baby, always has been and there is nothing more gutting that having sat fed him for him to then throw it all back up again.

This morning DH has said that he has had enough and it's time for him to be bottlefed. Now before you jump on him, DH is very supportive and has been having time off work whilst I have struggled emotionally the past few months. He's also really supportive of the breastfeeding it's just we've both reached the end of our tether at the moment, especially when DH is repeatedly late for work because things are so stressful at night and in the mornings. Last night when DS woke for the first time DH gave him a bottle , DS took 3.5oz but then was still awake 3 hours later, and 3 hours after that (breastfed both times). This morning I breastfed him for ages after he'd had some breakfast and he threw it all back up, I was so gutted. After he was sick and crying for another feed I couldn't face breastfeeding him again so I gave him 7oz of formula and he's been asleep for nearly 2 hours upstairs.

I don't want to give up, I just feel we have no sort of routine in the day (I hate that word!) with the feeding and I'm struggling to get the right balance of solids and breastfeeds. Teatime is the worst because if he eats too much he'll be sick as soon as you lift him out his highchair.

He won't take a beaker of water or juice.

I'm proud that I've breastfed him for this amount of time, especially with having him when DD was only 14 months, so it has been a struggle. I don't feel ready to give up but I am so low at the moment I can't see how life is going to get any better whilst I am.

Can anyone give me an idea of what their 8 month old is eating solids wise in the day and what times they feed because I think I need to push DS into a simple feeding pattern for both our sakes as I feel things are getting out of control now. Yesterday because he was ill I let him feed pretty much solidly for over 3 hours and I'm drained.

Thanks if you managed to read this far!!

 

[Tina & Gabs]

I just wanted to give you big hugs and say well done on breastfeeding for this long

I think you should do what you feel is right and if that means bottle feeding, do it.

Gabs was on 3 meals a day at this age and little snacks in between (bits of fruit, rice cakes etc). I stopped breatsfeeding at 7 months and she is doing fine.

I don't have much real advice but wish you luck and I hope things get on track for you

 

[Fiona]

Grace wakes at 7 ish and has a cup of milk,
8 am - breaksfast - weetabix/readybrex/porridge
9 ish - Nap for about 30 mins
10 ish - fruit or Yorgurt
11.30 ish - Nap for about 30 mins
12.30 lunch - sandwich or finger veggies with hummous etc
fruit or yogurt or fruit puree

3 pm - Fruit or Yogurt
4 pm ish - nap for about 30 mins
5 pm Tea - Homemade whatever (usually recipe out of baby book)
i.e Sweet Pots with mixed Veg, Pasta & Fish, Jacket Pot with
Cheese
plus a small fruit puree
6 pm Cup of milk
6.30 pm bed (usually sleeps all night)

I stopped bf about 2 weeks ago - Over the last month Grace has fed less and less from me, I spoke to HV and she said that she is self weaning and for me to go with the flow.......... eventually she just stopped wanting my breast ........ I tried her with follow on milk from a cup and she just loved it..........

Grace doesn' take milk at any time other than morning and evening though - she just turns her head away - so hv said to make sure that she gets plenty of yogurt and cheese etc so that is what we do.

You have done fantastically well with bf and if you feel the time is right for you and your baby to change to formula then that is what you should do.

 

[Freya]

Sorry that I can't give you any advice. But I just wanted to say well done for getting this far and sticking with it. I think you should do what suits you and your family best Good luck. BTW nothing lasts forever although it can feel like it does at the time

 

[Rosieroo]

Thank you for the posts so far , as you can tell I've reached rock bottom really. He's now discovered biting today! So on top of everything else he's been savaging my nipples
Fiona I'm shocked at how much Grace eats (not that it's a bad thing!), DS eats a fraction of that at the mo. Today he had some ready brek but sicked that back up, took 5 spoonfuls of lunch and then some custard and refused his tea (chicken stew) but ate about 2/3rds of a fruit duet jar, that took me about 30 mins to get him to eat. Then he had his bath and took both boobs (bit me 4 times which made me cry ) and then was sick all over himself when I put him to bed. I was so upset
So I think to stop myself from going mad the first step is to offer more snacks and food instead of the boob to settle him in the day and see where that gets us.
Any more tips/info on what your baby eats gratefully received!

 

[Tasha20]

Kina what you are experiencing ( apart from the spitting up all the time ) is very normal, Olivia was just the same and has her moments like that.
Olivia does not sleep through still now at nearly 11 months.

Biting can be horrendous! but you need to look for the reasons why, is he tierd? not hungry? they dont bite for no reason, is he teathing?

If his teething offer him a cold teether before feeding, or freeze some breastmilk and give him frozen breastpops to knaw on

Have you tried giving him Bananas?
Olivia has bannanas everyday, she loves them, and oranges.


Have you been to see anyone about him being sick, does he suffer from reflux?

Or do you have a fast let down? a fast let down can be too much for them resulting in them being sick, also what colour are his poos, and how many wet nappies a day does he have?

Whats his weight?

Sorry for all these question, I just want to help.

 

[Tasha20]

Oh and has all this started sinse he started teething?

 

[Rosieroo]

Hi Tasha
He's been a sicky baby since birth and has on average projectile vomited once a day nearly every day, when he has a cold he gets a lot worse. He has had a virus the past few days so the vomiting increased to around 4 times in 24 hours.
At the moment his nappies are extremely pale yellow and very sludgy (he did have the runs ), but when he was eating more solids they were darker and more solid. I think the current state is due to the virus he had, but the docs have got a poo sample to check.
He has problems with his breathing and always sounds quite chesty, this is now going to be monitored long term (at last, only taken several visits to the GPs for this to happen, I felt like a right pushy mother ). The chestiness contributes towards him being sick as he coughs quite a lot. He doesn't seem to have a very strong stomach as it tends to be cough cough, cough cough, cough speeeeeeeew.
I thought mild reflux too, but as he has always put on weight well (I think he was 22lb a couple weeks ago, which because he was 4 weeks early puts him around the top of his charts). I thought he weighed more than this though but it turned out my scales were miles out As he's a big baby I've always been told that there are no concerns as he is putting on weight, which doesn't make it any easier to accept.
I do have quite a forceful let down but he seems to have gotten to grips with it now, he's not bothered by teethers but prefers chewing on material or flannels soaked in cold water. DD was a biter from a very early age but DS has always been my cuddly little feeder, feel like I've lost that now. It's hard not to take personally as he is teething (got his bottom 2 last week and his top ones are now cutting), but when you're feeling low it's like a kick in the teeth!!
I am reluctant to give up because I haven't even reached the milestone I breastfed til with DD. I do think he needs to start eating more solids though and I'm going to offer more snacks. I gave him banana today but it just kept slipping out of his hands but he did have some melon cold from the fridge yesterday which he seemed to like.
I feel rubbish as he is my 2nd and I'm in such a pickle over it, I think it's tiredness tbh as that always makes things seem heaps worse.

 

[maybebaby]

Hi Kina. First of all big you've done so well to get to 8 months. I starting introducing formula to Austin when he was 6 months because I was finding expressing really diffucult & have to work 2 days a week.

We don't really have a strict routine but most days go something like:

6:30-8:30am: wake up, have some baby cereal followed by boob.

9:30-10:30am: between 30 & 90 minute nap, followed by either more boob (or 5oz bottle if I'm working)

1:30pm: Lunch - he has a bit of whatever I have, usually bread crusts & cheese followed by some form of fruit. Also more boob at this point but not a lot because the cat/grandma/sofa/my top is far more exciting

3 - 4:30pm: Boob or 5oz bottle, sometimes more fruit or rice cakes. Another nap.

6pm: Dinner - again, whatever we're having followed but a pudding (fromage frais, rice pudding or fruit puree). I always offer him water with dinner, or diluted juice but he'll only drink out of a normal cup, he just chews beakers.

8pm: bath, 5oz bottle & bed.


^^ That's a very loose idea of what we do, to be honest when he's at home & I'm not working he tends to snack on booby all day, but he's happy to have a couple of bottles when I'm working. I'm sure he plays up to me! I can't get him to have more than 5oz or formula at a time though.

Also I've not put overnight because it varies so much. On a good night he'll only wake up once or twice & settle back to sleep after 2 mins of breastfeeding but on a bad night he'll either refuse to go back into his cot for an hour or wake up every halk hour and demand feeding.

I'm pretty sure he gets enough to eat because he has dark nappies that stink & are sometimes quite solid. He's still putting weight on but very slowly, he was 17lb 3oz on Tuesday which is only 1 oz heavier than 3 weeks before. But he is very active & seems happy so I try not to worry.

 

[maybebaby]

Biting can be horrendous! but you need to look for the reasons why, is he tierd? not hungry? they dont bite for no reason, is he teathing?

Austin bites for no reason, he thinks it's funny when I tell him off. He doesn't do it too often though, I've stopped shouting & just put him down when he bites me now.

 

[Tasha20]

Hi Tasha
He's been a sicky baby since birth and has on average projectile vomited once a day nearly every day, when he has a cold he gets a lot worse. He has had a virus the past few days so the vomiting increased to around 4 times in 24 hours.
At the moment his nappies are extremely pale yellow and very sludgy (he did have the runs ), but when he was eating more solids they were darker and more solid. I think the current state is due to the virus he had, but the docs have got a poo sample to check.
He has problems with his breathing and always sounds quite chesty, this is now going to be monitored long term (at last, only taken several visits to the GPs for this to happen, I felt like a right pushy mother ). The chestiness contributes towards him being sick as he coughs quite a lot. He doesn't seem to have a very strong stomach as it tends to be cough cough, cough cough, cough speeeeeeeew.
I thought mild reflux too, but as he has always put on weight well (I think he was 22lb a couple weeks ago, which because he was 4 weeks early puts him around the top of his charts). I thought he weighed more than this though but it turned out my scales were miles out As he's a big baby I've always been told that there are no concerns as he is putting on weight, which doesn't make it any easier to accept.
I do have quite a forceful let down but he seems to have gotten to grips with it now, he's not bothered by teethers but prefers chewing on material or flannels soaked in cold water. DD was a biter from a very early age but DS has always been my cuddly little feeder, feel like I've lost that now. It's hard not to take personally as he is teething (got his bottom 2 last week and his top ones are now cutting), but when you're feeling low it's like a kick in the teeth!!
I am reluctant to give up because I haven't even reached the milestone I breastfed til with DD. I do think he needs to start eating more solids though and I'm going to offer more snacks. I gave him banana today but it just kept slipping out of his hands but he did have some melon cold from the fridge yesterday which he seemed to like.
I feel rubbish as he is my 2nd and I'm in such a pickle over it, I think it's tiredness tbh as that always makes things seem heaps worse.

I would say that yes he may be used to your forsefull let down but if hes a sicky baby his stomach may not be able to cope with it.

When do you offer him boob? is it before or after hes eaten something?

Why not try giving him something like bread which is quite heavey and then top him up with boob, it is normaly the other way round, boob first then food, but if hes being sick quite soon after it might be best to do it the otherway round? have yout tried that?

Does he like yogurt? those petite felu things are ok to give them, and its heaveir.

The only reason that formula is staying down for longer is because its hearvier than breastmilk and takes longer to digest which is why he slept longer, this isnt to say thought that its any better.

When your feeling down and lots of other problems crop up it can get the better of you, I understand that, I nearly gave up so many times and even now her waking night after night does get to me, but she wont be like this for long, they are only babies for a very short period of your life.

Another thing, do you have any support groups? or have you got a la leche league or breastfeeding councilor in your area?

These people are much more help than any doctor and I a sure they have come across this before.


Yes Oli bite me and laughed a few times but not often, I just unlatch her and then put her down, but most of the time there are reasons behind it and as Kina has said her little man is teething but it will soon pass Kina.

Also have you got any ERA tablets for teething? they are holistic so no chemicals, and they seemed to work for Olivia when she was teething.


As you say also his weight is good, I know its hard not to be worried but if he has a good weight, be proud

 

[Rosieroo]

Feeling a lot more positive today Alex slept til 4.40am which was great! He then had a feed and went back in his cot til 6.20am, had a little feed and then slept in next to us for a hour. I feel like a new woman

He had some breakfast and kept it down, then had a organix rusk thing as a snack at about 10am and attacked it well (I've got a tesco order tonight coming with some proper finger foods etc), had a boob feed about 11am, lunch at 1pm (about 1/3rd jar of Hipp stuff and 2 mini star fromage frais) and went down for a nap about 1.45pm (still asleep! But I can hear him coughing). So I'll give him boob this afternoon if all goes well and then I'm making him brocolli gratin for tea which I'll try him at 5-5.30pm. I'm going to try and boob feed him to sleep before bed but we'll just have to see how it goes.

Poo sample showed a virus, doc called earlier. So hopefully he'll get more of an appetite when he's totally better.

Tasha I offer boob in the day normally around meal times, sometimes a bit before sometimes after, just when he seems to need it.
I know formula isn't any better which is why I am loathe to use it, but occasionally lately I've gotten to the point where I just emotionally and physically feel unable to breastfeed.
I contacted LLL when I felt under pressure to wean Ella at 4 months, I've yet to contact them regarding DS but I'll bear them in mind if I'm still struggling. I breastfed DD til she was 10.5 months but had to give up due to my supply drying up because of my pregnancy, I was really gutted that we'd finished so soon so I know deep down I wont give up, I've just felt really low about it this week. I suppose it ties in with him being poorly and needy and trying to look after Ella aswell.

Fingers crossed we're on the up!

Maybebaby our two sound really similar - Alex is easily distracted from feeding. And when he bit me today I yelped which shocked him, I'm going to try doing that from now onwards to see what sort of effect it has! Their sleep patterns sound the same. I'll try Alex with Ella's old doidy instead of a beaker and see how we get on. Does Austin prefer cold or warm water?

My boobs are so full today from all that feeding this past week and he's hardly fed compared to the boobathons he was having, so I think I'll be pumping later

 

[maybebaby]

Maybebaby our two sound really similar - Alex is easily distracted from feeding. And when he bit me today I yelped which shocked him, I'm going to try doing that from now onwards to see what sort of effect it has! Their sleep patterns sound the same. I'll try Alex with Ella's old doidy instead of a beaker and see how we get on. Does Austin prefer cold or warm water?

I was speaking to a lady at my baby group who has 3 older daughters and a baby son, she said feeding her son was so much harder than any of her girls, boys seem to be more easily distracted & want to feed more frequently. I don't know how much truth there is in that because I've only got Austin but I do find it really hard sometimes, he will quite often feed for 2 minutes at a time!

We've got a water filter jug that sits on the side & I give Austin water out of that so it's a bit cooler than room temperature. If he has juice it's straight out the fridge then diluted with the filter water so it's a bit cooler but he's just as happy to drink it.

I'm glad it's been better today, it's so nice when they let you sleep! Make sure you get lots of rest, I can't imagine how tired you must be with Ella to care for as well.

 

[Rosieroo]

Just an update to say things have improved loads! He's sleeping a lot better (only normally wakes up once between 7.30-6am which is normally at 3/4am), is tackling finger foods really well (he was munching on bread sticks earlier) and has been eating lumpy foods without choking and coughing. He's like a different baby the past 2-3 days. I think the fact that he was poorly/teething didn't help things. His feeding has calmed down during the day, but he's still really distracted and wouldn't feed properly at all whilst we were out today which was a bit of a pain. But I'm chuffed to bits with him atm

 

[jools221181]

Just read through all this and I'm so glad things are looking up for you!

 

[Fiona]

so glad that things are looking up............. your are doing so well and your wee lad is obviously enjoying the next stage of eating.

well done

 

[valentine]

Kina,

So sorry I missed this first time round. to you.

I'm so pleased things are looking up for you - it sounds like its been a catalogue of various feeding problems that have culminated in both you and Alex getting frustrated and tired - but I'm so glad you are on the up now!

Well done on b/feeding for so long hon, that's brilliant.

Valentine Xxx