So worried

[tinytoes]

Our HV was out to see us on Monday and Lily is doing really well thankfull But she was talking to me about Aoibheann and really worried me ,she is 17 months and not a very chatty baby she understands me when I ask her things and can follow instructions , she just doesnt use many words . So the HV said to read more picture books and get some wall charts and practice identifing the pictures . Im just upset .. I feel like a failure why isnt she talking .. I almost feel like I have neglected her in some way .
She also mentioned that she should be well able to feed herself with a spoon , aoibheann throws the spoon on the floor and eats with her hands She said I have been babying her and need to stop and to force her to try and not to help her my feeding her .. Im afraid she will go hungry . She is a very bright baby (at least i think so , so now I am upset I have maybe been going wrong? ) can you ladies tell me what stage yout tots were at Aoibheanns age ?

 

[Piglet10]

tbh i can totally relate,

Madison was being fed by us all the time . when she went to nursery they were flabbergasted!!! and within like a week they got her feeding herself no matter how messy shegets and now she doesnt allow anyone to feed her only herself!!

Madison is defo saying words -

mummy
daddy
dad
dodo
bobo
oh dear god (the latest )
jesus christ NOT my fault!!!!
juice
milk
starting to say yes and no instead of squealing
duck
quack
miaow
moo

im sure theres more but i cant think...

BUT before u panic a lot of these words are VERY recent she came on really well, nursery reads to them 24/7 so i defo think that helps and even at home she is obsessed with books, does she take a dummy ~?? because i found when we cut madisons dummy out apart from bedtime her speech came on leaps and bounds

hope i can help xxx

 

[Piglet10]

i forgot to add, if u annoy her points with her finger and screams "DONT!!!!!!!!" xxx

 

[tinytoes]

your defo helping , I reckon we need to get her to nursery one day a week and really work with her at home . Maybe I have been really lazy because of the pregnancy we cut out the dummy a good while back as I was gettin anxious . Im sure I can sort it out I just feel like I have been neglecting her a bit .

 

[Piglet10]

honestly i think its good its been drawn to ur attention, it really wont take her long to catch up a week or two!! if u havent a lot of books for her u can get those words number colour books etc they r brill, and if u can afford a day or two in nursery prob would help and give u a bit of time with lily or to get stuff done or sleep etc might be a plan chick xxx

 

[tinytoes]

Thank you , suddenly feel back in control again I'm calling nurserys this morning and am sending oh out to pick up some picture books . God the painic I felt earlier . Thanks hun xxx

 

[Piglet10]

brill!! she and you will be fine!! she prob will be outta sorts with lily around until u r all settled again so the routine prob b super for her too!! let us know how nursery hunting goes, also they r brill with encouraging them, like madison had a dummy all the time and when she went there they just said no unless she upset and it worked!! and i had been trying for a while but they told me because its a new environment she didnt know any different and accepted the changes and then we brought the positive ones!! i defo think ur doing the right think and if ur on tax credits they will pay up to 70% of the childcare xxx

 

[titch]

hun dont worry too much. Im a speech & language therapist and your HV would have referred her if she was really worried. Its more just giving pointers. The fact that she can understand and identify objects you name is really good, and completely puts my mind at rest when I see a 'late talker' that said, when I take a case history for an older child, as long as they had their first words by 2, we put their early communication down as 'within normal range' so I wouldnt get overly anxious as she still has time.

Also, a child can be bright and struggle with language. Speech development and IQ are completely separate so dont think if youre child is a little later talking that its any reflection on how bright they are.

If you want ideas on how to bring her on Im happy to give you some but I dont think you really need to go overboard at this stage, getting her into nursery is a good idea, and playing games like "wheres daddy?" and getting her to point is fine. Annoyingly you can move a childs legs to get them to walk, do hand over hand to get them to wave or point, but you cant do anything to make them speak, so dont bother trying to force her, and DONT go down the route of "say chair" or whatever, you'll end up with a child who hates talking but can be a very good parrot on demand

 

[tinytoes]

Thanks titch , I'll defo take your advice on board and say it to the oh as well because we would be very incined to try to force her to talk and she usually runs away I'm feeling much better about it now really as I have a plan and also because as my mum pointed out to me earlier I was the exact same . I refused to speak and then it all came out at once . So for now until her next check up in a month I'll not do anything to intensive with her other than follow the Hv's tips , get Aoibheann a nursery place and limit how much the t.v is on
Honestly its times like this im glad to have such a helpful forum to turn to

 

[Amyrose]

Your doing fab hun dont think your a bad mum for a second. i have 6 kiddies and they all did things at different rates i dont believe in these time frames they give you and if they are not doing a certain thing by a certain time then there must be something wrong, yes this can be the case but mostly its just because your lo is just not ready. one of my sons didnt walk until he was 27 months when he started he ran and hasnt stopped since my daughter didnt really talk until she went to playschool and now wont shut up a right little chatterbox. my youngest walked and talked very early. I do think having more interaction with other children helps alot and your doing fab by looking into nursery.
dont feel down as you are a very loving caring mum xxxxx

 

[tinytoes]

Nursery place sorted starting september 2nd , and we are going to mummy and toddler group from september onwards too ( im dreading this ) . Amyrose thank you for your lovely response it really made me feel more confident that I do know what I'm doing .

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

I've only Just seen this hun' I wouldnt worry at all! I was proper worried about Ella and her talking as she seemed really behind with it! She only really properly saying anything about a month ago and she's gone from that to constantly talking! A month ago (about 19/20 months) she would only really say mama dada and agon for All gone! Now she says almost everything! Mama's turned into mummmyyyyyy! She's starting to make sentences like more juice etc! Katie was a very early talker and was chatting away at like 12 months so it was a right shock to me! But then K didn't walk til 26 months and E walked at 12!

 

[charliebear]

I wouldnt worry too much about her not feeding herself, you could try having a spoon each and a 'you scoop then I scoop approach' Just have the cutlery there, she'll pick it up i no time.

AJ still chucks the cutlery and uses his fingers and he'll be 3 in November. He also still wants me to feed him at times, yogurt, beans and cereal mostly.

I wouldnt worry about her talking as the other girls said, you'll not be able to shut her up in a couple of months

 

[Piglet10]

how is she doing now u r aware? can u see any little improvements? xx

 

[Amyrose]

Your welcome hun
wow you got a nursery place so quick you must be fab well done. Guarantee by Christmas you will wonder what all the fuss was about xxxx