So upset :-(

[StarryL]

Hi, my partner has just decided to tell me that he hasn't been happy in our relationship for a few months but hasn't known how to bring the conversation up! I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant with our second child and feel so hurt and upset that this is happening at all never mind now of all times.

I know there's nothing anyone can do to help but just needed to get it off my chest as nobody even knows I'm pregnant yet so I don't feel like I have anyone to talk too who would completely understand my situation.

 

[becsybabe]

Aw I'm so sorry you are going thru this. I'm not sure what to say but didn't want to read and run. I hope things can be sorted out with your partner. And congratulations on the pregnancy xx

 

[Blueclass]

What a awful time to bring it up. Was rhis baby planned?
All you can do is talk and try to sort it out if thats what you both want?
X

 

[StarryL]

Thank you both. No this baby wasn't planned, we've talked abit tonight, he's saying he's felt like it for a while but felt bad on me and our Daughter so didn't bring it up!! But if I'm honest I just keep getting upset and angry that he has left it all this time to tell me so have come to bed to get away from him. My mind is racing with all the upsetment, I was already worrying about how my Daughter would adapt to a new arrival now we have this to contend with too x

 

[Cati]

I know it seems daunting at the moment, but you can get through this!
Just keep calm, although it seems hard at times, and know everything will be fine in the end, whatever the outcome x

 

[Lulu90]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Do you think this pregnancy has scared him maybe? I really hope you can both sort it out, but if not, you WILL be ok, I promise xx

 

[Holi]

So sorry your going through his!

First congratulations!! Don't worry about your daughter adapting all second time mums worry about this and it is always ok!

Has your partner said he wants to separate? If not you could both maybe use this as an opportunity to get things back on track and talk about any issues you have. How have you been feeling about the relationship? I know it must be so upsetting but it sounds like a shock with this new pregnancy and it could all just be nerves. Also most relationships do you have rocky patches now and again doesn't mean it's the end. Fingers crossed you can work through this and begin your new chapter as a family of four!

 

[Nbec88]

Hey, your not alone.the pregnancy wasn't planned but I'm 7 weeks into my 3rd pregnancy and my ex partner told me it's not what he wanted.

I felt alone in my last pregnancy, no support from him until the latter end. Only when Ds was born, he showed support. This time round I've had no support at all. I know I can do it alone, as I have before but I thought this time would be different. I'm the one messaging him to make sure he's ok.
I've also just found out he's been messaging other females about the situation. It's hurtful as I thought he would have came to me first, but I guess that's just him.

As a single mother or 2 soon to be 3, it is very hard but I know you'll get through it with or without him ��

 

[Selina13]

Im so sorry to hear this honey but you will be ok, its daunting and scary but you will be fine.

Im wondering if maybe your partner is just scared at the prospect of being a father of 2? Having 1 child can put a strain on yoyr relationship as it is never mind 2, as the woman is the pregnant one we tend to get over it quicker and adapt. Maybe he feels like you dont have much time together now, what will it be like with 2 children? Have you talked to him about this amd put a plan in place to do more things together?

My hubby and I struggle to do things together so there are times that we both feel unhappy in our marriage but then we have some quality time and we are back on track!

If this isnt the issue and he genuinely is unhappy full stop then I suppose it might be an idea to talk to a close friend or family member about your pregnancy and the sitation so you dont feel so alone. Xx

 

[mt11]

I am so sorry , this is hard. I feel for you. But know that you are strong. You have to be strong for your baby and your kid. I really don't know your spouse, but he clearly is not emotionally mature as he chose the worst time to reflect on his relationship.

My advice, please get help. Talk to close friend or a family member but be very cautious of who you choose to be your helping hand now. If you have strong family support , reach out to them. Please think of seeing a therapist if you can. They are professionals and can help you with this.

You do not need stress. if you are financially independent , ask your spouse to leave the house to get some space from him and think. It will also send a message to him that you take this seriously and can't be treated like this. Think , what you want ! and what you deserve and how much you are willing to put up with.

Please take care of yourself. I am new to this forum. Send me a private message if you feel like talking to someone. You are stronger than you know.

Hugs.