Sleeping at Night

[Daddy2be]

Hi all,

New to this.

I try to sleep at night but my other half just seems to cough all night.

This can only be down to her smoking through her pregnancy and is 3 months pregnant.

She will not listen and to me and just does not try hard enough for mine, the babies and her sake.

What do I do?

Desperate Daddy2be

 

[SarahH]

Aww...

If I were you I would mention it to her and talk about it.... if that doesnt help... maybe go with her to one of her midwife appointments and mention your concerns there and get the midwife to discuss everything with her on regards of stopping smoking.

I will say tho I smoked before I fell pregnant and I did quit when I found out I was expecting... but it isnt easy!!!
Good luck to you and your partner!!!

 

[Tiffy]

I was also a smoker before pregnancy, but quit as soon as I found out the big news.
The most you can do is sit her down, and try to make her more aware of the damage she is causing her and your child. It isn't just herself she needs to keep healthy, but the baby. Try not to be too harsh, but DO NOT let this pass by... it could greatly affect the child's health.

 

[Daddy2be]

Thanks Sarah.

I keep threatening her that I will tell her parents and that only works for a few days.

Granted she used to smoke about 20 a day and now may have between three and four a day

Then she will start sectretly buying cigarettes and smoke when whem I am either at work and hides the packets.

Somehow she keeps getting annoyed as I find evidence or catch her out which just brings out more arguments.

All I want is her to STOP. I dont agree with violence period and just dont know what harm she is doing to her and the baby.

Desperate Daddy2be

 

[Babylicious]

Talk to her, my Mum smoked with me and I have asthma - it has long term effects

 

[Redshoes]

There's no bigger incentive to stop smoking for a woman than being pregnant, but I would also say she needs your positive support, not a telling off or scare tactics, afterall it's an addiction and I am sure if she could just quit she would, all smokers would, but its an addiction, its not as easy as wanting to for everyone, and a reduction in her smoking is a positive start too http://www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/a ... dayexpert/

I do empathize, I quit whilst pregnant too but I told myself if I couldn't I wouldn't go mad feeling guilty either, stress can also be hard on baby, as well as feeling unsupported and low, so I do hope you can be there for her and I do hope she finds the strength to quit, do you smoke? Drink alcohol? Imagine having to give it up right now, easier said than done, give her time to adjust
Very best wishes to you both, hope you have a happy and comfy pregnancy
This link may help;
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/a ... rentstips/

 

[Steelgoddess]

Im sorry if im going to sound harsh but thats so unfair of her...

I think you need to be hard with her, she is being quite selfish, I suffer with Asthma and Im currently preggo and would LOVE to be able to breath easy.

Tell her if she wants the risk of having a baby that will not only be born prematurly, but be born with a respitory disease like asthma (which is SHIT! even when its control with meds...).

Tell her its gr8 that she has cut down and encourage her, maybe you could give up something with her so shes not going at it alone...

 

[ella]

I think you should sit down with her and talk to her - tell her you love her and the baby and its killing you to watch her putting her and your babys health at risk. My DH had a serious chat with me about smoking (before I got pregnant) and it had a really good impact - i felt he loved me and really wanted me to stop for us - he didnt get mad or nag he just asked me to stop and that it really upset him to hear me wheezing (I have asthma too)

Maybe look at whyquit.com its a good site - hardhitting though. Good luck!

 

[Robyn_]

If i was you, i would sit and have a hard talk with her, and get loads of leaflets or whatever from doctors/ midwife, the internet, showing the bad tings that come out of a woman smoking when pregnant,
its not easy yeah i know that i know that well, but like the baby is incredibly important now, and the months when the baby are growing they need to be at the their strongest,
tell her the affects of smoking during pregnancy, if it helps be a little bit hard on her,
you need to let her know its better in the long run, for her and the baby.

 

[tuck]

personally I felt that the more people tell you to stop smoking the harder it is, yes sit her down and tell her how unhappy it is making you and the harm she is doing to the baby but she probably already knows all that.

I also smoked pre-pregnancy but stopped when found out I was pregnant, it may also be that she has a dry throat as I suffered with this whilst pregnant. As much as you want to try not to 'nag' or get angry if she's still smoking, maybe the midwife or doctor can suggest some help, I dont know wether hypnotism is safe whilst pregnant?

 

[Daddy2be]

After a slight discussion and disagreement today (without any sort of shouting) she has stormed out and driven off, I assume to go buy some more cigarettes.

If I find out that she has, should I :

A. Shame her to her family about her smoking whilst pregnant

B: Name her and shame her on this forum as she uses it.

Look forward to hearing from you

Desperate Daddy2be

 

[Babylicious]

I would tell her midwife/gp also - this baby poses the risk of having a low birth weight