Single Mums and New Relationships

[Jade&Evie]

I am SOOOO not ready to meet anyone else.

The thought of dating again terrifies me- I've never picked the most suitable me and now I have the responsibilty of picking someone who not only is suitable for me but who also loves Evie. It's the scariest thing in the world.

I have been chatted up by a few blokes over the last weekend and they seem nice but I can't shake the feeling that they are only interested because I am a 'MILF' and they think I am an easy lay I won't jump into bed with just anyone but I don't want to get hurt or used again

How long do you leave it before you mention you have a child!? She is my world so if they don't want her there's no point in even trying to sleep with me- won't happen! She's plastered all over my Facebook so she's not a secret but I don't know whether saying "oh I have a 4 month old daughter" in the first conversation might be a bit too much

I have already said I won't intorduce Evie to anyone until I know they are going to stick around. I can't imagine anyone new meeting her before they've been seeing me for a couple of months!

 

[CoreysMummy]

Take it easy and go slow!

You dont have to sleep with anyone if you dont want to, and decent bloke worth spending time with would not want to sleep with you 1st, 2nd or really even 3rd time round. My Fiance has said more than once, if the 1st time I stayed round his I had jumped on his man meat then that would have been the last time I saw him... as thats not the kind of girl he wanted. Lucky im not a shhhhhlag really then lol.

You are very clever not to introduce Evie to anyone, though, Corey see so many of my friends, male and female, I dont think Evie would know the difference, and it might be better to establish before you get attached if the new fella is cut out for babies.

BUT its up to you hun.. you know your baby best

xxx

 

[chickadee1976]

As my dad said keep your self clean, i had no idea what he meant as i was 13 at the time, but have since discovered he meant dont sleep around.

Im no angel but have to say my best and longest lasting relationships have come about from not jumping into bed with a guy straight away.

 

[mummykay]

go at your own pace, ur hardly an old woman so uv got plenty of time lol

for now jus enjoy ur time with Evie and when ur least expectin it a hottie will sweep u off ur feet
(well thats what im hopin for me anyway lol )

 

[Squiglet]

I never told a man straight off that I had a kid... Hello my name is **** and I have a kid... tbh I didn't want those parts of my life mixing and I didn't want Tia to have a parade of men in and out of her life... I would tell them after the first or second date and say very bluntly that he (the man) would always come second in my life and if he didn't like that he could fk off there and then. Tia was only ever introduced to one boyfriend and he became my husband, that was 6 months into the relationship and he was introduced as a friend, the others..there were only a couple, weren't worth it, didn't want to be second and soon left.

The best thing about having a kid is that they weed out the weaker men.

Jade, go out, have fun as a young single woman... use men in the same way they use you and when the right one comes along you'll know Just enjoy yourself...and remember you don't need a man to complete your life, a man needs you. You just keep control on the situation. If you sleep with a man make sure its because you want to sleep with him...not because you think he will like you more.. bah.. no... just keep yourself to you...

 

[MummyJess]

I met my OH at work when my oldest daughter was just a couple of months old. He was very wary of having anything to do with me because he didn't want to hurt me or my daughter. So we were friends for a while, even both saw other people casually (hey, a girl has needs and I was only 18) until one night out we confessed how we had started to feel about each other.

I think if I hadn't had Chloe then very likely we would have had a brief fling then that would have been the end of things. But because we took things much slower and got to know each other so well it meant that we built something lasting.

The best thing about having a kid is that they weed out the weaker men.

This is so true Squiglet, some men are just for having fun with for a while but you know that if somebody is prepared to close to you and your child then they are something special. Trust your instincts and most of all don't go looking for them. It will happen when you least expect it.

We now have 2 children of our own and I am pregnant with my 4th. Chloe calls my OH Daddy, which was her own choice and began shortly after Molly was born. Chloe still occasionally sees her 'real' Dad, but my OH is the man in her life and the one she looks at as her Daddy.

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

chris knew about Braydon before i even spoke to him
im so lucky in the fact that chris is fine with Bray and my past and supports me no matter wot
but also chris's parents and family have accepted us to and he even calls them nan, monkey long story and aunites etc

u will know wen and who is right hun and just seeing them with evie will helpp
chris and Bray had a bond from the first time they met

 

[littlepip]

I totally understand what you mean! I would love someone in my life but at the same time i only feel like i have enough love for ryan at the moment. if that makes sense. I was talking to soemone for a loong time and we were going to get to gether and we really liked each other but one night he texted and said he doesnt think he can take on someone elses child and i just said ok then, Even tho i really liked him i thought if they werent special enough to take on someone else child then there not special enough for me.

 

[CoreysMummy]

I have the up-most respect for any man that takes on another mans child (or woman that does...)!! It takes a big person to do that. They have to be of a certain standard to start with if they are willing to do that... You gotta hope anyway.

 

[fran_23]

Is it just because i love Haydens dad still that the thought of any new man even talking to Hayden turns my stomach??

Anyway...yeah i agre with what you say about not letting any man meet Evie for a while until you know its going somewhere, don't want to confuse her plus she has a daddy and your lot expecting anyone your with to take on that role-so keeping them seperate for a while is good!

 

[MissSara]

I made the istake of not telling this lad when i first started seeing him about harrison, simply because i didn't want to scare him away to soon, anyway it turned out he was a total dick when he did find out and i never saw him again after anyway.... but your gunna get nobs like that, and in my opinion its better to be open from the day you meet someone, if they dont like the fact that Evie comes first then at least you haven't wasted any of your time on a loser.

Harrison met Lee 3months after i had been seeing him, and we knew it was serious, we waited that long because he wa at that age where he had had me all to himself for that long that i didnt want to mess his head up with this new fella and him sharing me.
I used to tell Lee to come round when H was in bed and i always made him leave at around 10.30pm so he was never there in the mornings, then we introduced days out and fun things together, and it kinda just went from there.

I never thought i would find anyone who would love my son as equally as i do, and trust me Jade there are men out there who will. You might have to kiss a few toads before you find your prince, but its all worth it.

 

[Tara & Liam]

what does MILF mean

 

[Squiglet]

what does MILF mean

erm...

mommy I'd like to f**k

 

[Tara & Liam]

 

[Babylicious]

i told sean about paris straight away and he was unphased, het met her after about 2 month of us dating (she was 4 and is 8 now), tbh he's a better dad to her than her real dad ever was x

 

[trixipaws]

hmm i thnk being a mum puts many blokes off- i actually use it as a tool to get rid of unwanted suitors when im at a club without my boyf. some dude was chatting me up at drum music awhile back and was askin me about it- i said "oh i havent been on the scene for awhile, i just had a baby, so..." he was off like a shot!

it must be really daunting, i wish i could advise, but i cant! my girl friend recently became single for the first time since before she was a mum, so i shall try to pass on second-hand tips from her. xxx

 

[Tara & Liam]

ive been with my DH since my eldest was 5. I wouldnt let his sperm donor have anything to do with him. DH has been brilliant with him. We changed his surname by deed poll when i had my middle son. one big happy family.

i do remember, that the first time that DH came round to my house, Kieran came into the front room and i introduced them and then he went off to play. about 10 minutes later he ran into the room and said "are you my dad" and then just ran out again. i was totally motified.

 

[keli]

I couldn't even contemplate being with any other man at the moment Just haven't got the time.. plus i don't go out My mum always told me that men are there to enhance our lives not to make it...

 

[Tara & Liam]

your mum sounds very wise.

definitely agree with her. I didnt feel ready to have a proper relationship until kieran was older.