Shocked by my own reactions to pregnancy

[moss]

I haven't been at all how I expected to be whilst pregnant so far. Part of that is probably because I have BAD PCOS and I was expecting to take ages to get pregnant (I probably only took a few tries!), that I didn't know I was pregnantfor a while and that I found out because I was incredibly ill one day and admitted to hospital. When I found out I had to stay overnight with an IV and after that I was exhausted and ill so I never had a chance for it to sink in before I got the scan confirming it.

BUT I am normally a very natural, nature, outdoorsy type. More than a few of my friends have referred to me as Mother Nature incarnate (HAHA), yet my body changes are coming as a complete shock! I expected to take a little while to adjust to my bigger belly because of my BDD but last night I saw colostrum coming out for the first time (it's been happening for a while but only when I was sleeping) and I was completely freaked out! I almost started to cry! I am completely shocked and disappointed in myself about that.

Has anyone else felt this? I feel pretty extreme about it. I'm not having a negative pregnancy, but I am feeling negative about myself and not taking things the way I thought I would at all. It's so strange and out of character for me. I am usually fascinated by this kind of thing!

(Sorry for the mini novel)

 

[Gilly]

I think what you're feeling is quite normal, I'm also usually quite an outdoorsy person as well and have been a bit taken aback that I can't go hiking as easily as I did, I just get too tired and grumpy! It's difficult to get used to how fast my body's changing, which I don't think I expected, it feels like a bit of a shock. Plus hormonal moodyness on top of that can't help! Don't be too hard on yourself, being pregnant isn't easy

 

[Sandi4Paul]

man i hate hormones!

Sandi

 

[kalia]

I thought I'd love being pregnant and I hate it. I'm often described as the earth mother type and at the moment that seems so far from the truth.

I guess there's such a romanticised image portrayed in films that we think it will be a wonderful experience. Physically, it is at best no different but usually much worse and that effects how we feel about it emotionally. If throughout this pregnancy I had not been exhausted, nauseous, hormonal, had to put pjs in the wash every day because they are crusty from colostrum, in lots of pain and ultimately crippled I'm sure I'd have loved it

There is a parasite taking over your body. It's normal to be freaked out at times.

 

[Becky]

I think people say things easily and when they say you're Mother Nature, or a natural mother, they mean for looking after babies and children.

Being pregnant is such a tough job that you're bound to find it hard at times - even if you're having an "easy" pregnancy. Just the whole constant change to your body is hard to adjust to.

While I was thrilled to be pregnant with my daughter there were times when I just wanted a day off, to have someone else look after my bump and leaky boobs for a while (my boobs leaked often, usually at work!)

Don't feel bad about it - its natural to get sick of anything that you have to do 24/7! You've never done a job like this before, and just because you have bad days doesn't mean you're not measuring up!

Don't be so hard on yourself!

 

[bowmanzoo]

I think Becky said it all really well. I think it's natural to be a bit hacked off that you've had your body kidnapped. I'm getting to the stage now of being very fed up of being pregnant. Although people locally don't think i'm huge, I feel huge and I can't sit for long periods of time without it becoming unbearably uncomfortable on my back and top of bump. It's the same if I try and sit down to do some cross sttiching, within half hour im hurting. My friend asked me to go to a bbq last night which is beginning of may and yeah it'd be good to get out but that lot will be able to really let go and have a drink and there i'll be with my oj and watching that the food aint pink lol. Pregnancy does change things, I'm also starting to waddle like a yellow duck and it all sucks. Going to bed is a nightmare because fluff thinks it'll be great to start having a kicking time in there and boy I aint got a clue what fluff gets upto but sometimes it feels like he's having an epi fit in the womb without sounding nasty but it does, my belly feels like it's going mental. So don't be down on yourself we all feel the same.

 

[moss]

Thanks, everyone. When people call me natural they are referring to how in touch with the environment and everything I seem to be. I practically grew up reading in an apple tree. I have a weird prediction for weather and understanding of animals... I have always thought nature is the one thing I am good at.

To top it off, I am studying Human Anatomy and Physiology, so I understand and expect everything that is happening, yet I am still freaked out! It must be the hormones. I hate them! Pre-pregnancy I didn't have enough female hormones and felt crap, not I have too many and feel like crap! Ha...

I think I need hypnosis to make me more positive about myself, if that works. Maybe meditation... I don't know. Does anyone have suggestions of something that helps make you feel involved with your pregnancy rather than like it is just happening *to* you?

 

[mandspice]

No colostrum for me yet but I have relaxed into my pregnancy, body wise.....I must admit, for the first few months I hated putting up with all the pregnancy restrictions without actually looking pregnant but now I feel more "justified" in restricting myself if that makes sense...?

It's a strange and confusing time for all of us but it'll be worth it in the end