She only wants me...

[mamichuli]

Hi Girls
Just wondered if any of you have experienced this so young. Anais is ten weeks old and is a very good baby - she sleeps all night , eats well, etc. BUT she only wants me.
Dont get me wrong - I am happy with this as she is not really demanding and is happy to coo to herself for long periods when she is awake. The problem is that when she wants attention, she really wants it from me. With her father and brother and sister she bawls her head off most of the time. This is getting poor OH down, as he is a very devoted dad, and i really dont know what to suggest. She will often giggle for him if I am holding her, but rarely if she is in his arms. It is wieird because i didnt have this problem with my older kids from previous marriage but then my ex was a lot less interested in them...

I wonder if it has something to do with b/f babies, and i didnt notice with the older ones as their dad was not really into babies.

I am even thinking of expressing so that Ani can have a couple of bottles a day given by other members of the family. Another point is that I am thinking of beginning to wean a bit early and add fruit puree to her diet. Does anyone know if it is OK to give her fruit before three months?

I am open to suggestion...

Lisa

 

[cloud9]

My son is b/fed and as he has got older is now more intrested in his Dad but still when very tired or upset wants me..I think it is because we spend so much time together..I think your OH's confidence is prolly been knowcked by the way your LO is and she may be picking up on it...

That will improve I am sure

Why do you want to wean so early ? Doesn't sounds like she has any signs of been ready to be weaned ?

 

[mamichuli]

I agree with you in that it is early, and I dont know if she's ready to start - I sure as hell am not! The thing is, in Spain you get sixteen weeks maternity leave on full wage and then need to return to work. Ideally I would take more time with no pay, but it is not an option, as I really need the money, my OH doesnt earn very much, and I have three kids. Needs must I am afraid.
What most mums do here is go onto formula at three months, but i really want to continue b/feeding. My pediatric nurse says that the best solution is to start with fruit puree and express a couple of bottles per day. I just wondered if anyone on here had any similar experiences...
Lisa

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Kiara was the same way and so is Kiara got very attached to me then when Kiara was older ide say about a year she started to go to Bernie more now shes a daddys girl
Kadyn is the same way so far too.
Hope you figure somthing out hun '

 

[Redshoes]

Isaac has been that way since he was born, I think I made it worse by always doing everything with him, he's only partially breastfed, but even when he needs soothing without breast it has to be me. I would suggest just letting your OH spend lots of time alone with her now as in our case it didn't get better, though he's getting better at being soothed by Daddy, he still wants me.. I do hope you find as she grows she feels confident with Daddy too, and very best wishes with going back to work, I'm sure it must be very hard

If you have any soothing 'moves' you use with her, like with Isaac there's certain ways he likes to be held and rocked, tell your OH about them, so he can use these initially to help their bond grow, very best wishes

 

[Nic'n'Keeley]

Keeley's always been the same she'l be fine with anyone until she wants a bottle or she has hurt herself then its back to mummy

It sounds completly natural you and your daughter have a special bond i have also heard that up until lo's are 8 months i think they think they are still attached to you

 

[cloud9]

have you thought about trying baby rice rather than the purees might be kinder on her tum ?

 

[mamichuli]

Yes, cloud, I was as I have been noticing that in the uk it appears to be the first food. In Spain they always seem to start with fruit. Dunno why...
I will probably start at the end of next week when she is twelve weeks. Just wish I didnt have to, but at least if i start then I will have four weeks to get her into a bit of a routine.

Thanks for all your help!
Lisa

 

[trixipaws]

my girl is b/fed and when shes hungry and screams on everyone she goes quiet when handed 2 me. but when shes not hungry shes happy with anyone! all i can suggest is make sure she has a full tummy?

mamichuli did u put ur other kids onto formula at 3 months? im asking coz my baby wont take a bottle i think we tried her on them too late! (shes 3 months) what would someone like me do over there whose baby wont hav bottles?

 

[mamichuli]

It s a problem. trixipaws... Womens groups are fighting hard to have maternity leave extended to six months, and I sincerely hope it will be soon for all mums sakes. With my other two, I didnt go back to work - with DD1 I was able to take three years out - more money coming in, with DS I lost my job just before getting pregnant and didnt look for another one until he turned six months. That's why it is all new to me on this front. I honestly dont know how people do it here, what I can tell you is that b/f is not as common here for any length of time - women give up a lot earlier, probably because the system is not very friendly to b/f mums on the work front.

L

 

[Squiglet]

Tia was a b/f baby....and OH SO clingy...and still is... even at 8 years old. She wouldnt got to anybody but me....and it wasn't until I stopped b/f her, that she became more social

I personally have no idea what I am going to do when this one comes along because I have to return to work when he's 3 months old, or we will end up defaulting on our mortgage... Especially if he is as clingy as Tia was.

The lobbying in Spain to get the maternity leave extended to 6 months, has stalled... Thank you Zapatero... Business are blocking it saying they can't afford to have women off for 6 months and have to hire another person to cover maternity leave...this is why Zapatero has introduced this maternity benefit of 2.500€ so women have a bit more money to stay at home with the baby rather than rush back to work.... but it won't cover our mortgage payments for 3 months.

 

[mamichuli]

At least you will get it Squiglet... Anais was born three days early - the measure came in on July third, my due date, but Anais was born on the 29th of June, so no 2500 € for me

Lisa

 

[trixipaws]

At least you will get it Squiglet... Anais was born three days early - the measure came in on July third, my due date, but Anais was born on the 29th of June, so no 2500 € for me

Lisa

wow thats harsh! i remember over here on april 1st SMP got extended from 6 to 9 months. i joked to some girls who were due then to keep their legs crossed so theyd get 9 months, but they said theyd get it anyway if their babies were early. sounds like its difficult for preg workers in spain!

 

[Squiglet]

At least you will get it Squiglet... Anais was born three days early - the measure came in on July third, my due date, but Anais was born on the 29th of June, so no 2500 € for me

Lisa

pssff... Thats soooo crappy!!!! You should have crossed your legs...

I weaned Tia at 2 months and 3 weeks as she was driving me crazy as she was so hungry (she already fitted into 3 to 6 month clothing by this point and had done for a while)....I don't think there would be any harm with something as bland as banana, whipped up with some of your breast milk.... that should help it go down a bit better.

Spain is still in the bloody dark ages where working mums are concerned... If I didn't have my mum and dad here I would have to move back to the UK.... I just couldn't survive.

 

[mamichuli]

Couldn't keep my legs crossed, they brought the birth forward for health reasons. Couldnt be helped.
At least we got the two weeks paternity leave for my OH, before March this year the father only got two days...

Lisa

 

[Squiglet]

I keep telling my DH that but his boss keeps telling him its only 2 days...

 

[mamichuli]

Is he on a permie contract? I think that might make a difference...
Lisa

 

[Squiglet]

He's worked at the same place for nearly 4 years... Been on a perm contract since god knows when.. His boss is pretty old, as are all his other member of staff so he might not know there's been a change, even though he's trying for baby number 3 with the new younger misses...

 

[mamichuli]

If he's on a permie, he is deff. due two weeks. The only hitch is that it is paid for by social security and you will need to apply for it along with your maternity leave. I dont know how long these transactions take in your part of the country. In Catalunya it is pretty straightforward and we got our money within the month.
If he is having trouble with his boss, you might want to get in touch with your local social security office. Maybe they can provide something in writing for your hubby to show his boss?

Good luck with that

Lisa