Selfish *#!**!

[AndreaJayne]

Ii am sick of my OH bein selfish! He is one of those pigs that thinks he has more authority because he goes to work & I'm on maternity leave. He goes to football every week £3, buys his dinner about £5 a day, went out all day Sunday getting pissed with his mates while I went to church to arrange our sons christening as football was more important to him! £5000 on cosmetic surgery 4 him, & he is going out soon & his hotel alone cost £65, I last bought a dress in December for £15 for myself I don't spend a lot at all & I wasn't brought up to always want for things. He deals with our finances too. So I hate asking for things as I'm not used to it, but I decided I wanted to lift my mood as felt low for a while now, so I looked at salons near me & decided I would like 2 treatments costing £38 for both. So when he got home I said, is like to get a couple of treatments done to make me feel better about myself, his reply - ' do u not think we have better things to spend our money on?'!!! How dare he! Xxxx even better he said u spend money in tesco & that, yea on food!!!! God wen did being fed watered & a roof over my head become a 'treat'?! Xxxx

 

[lozzajohn1]

Sorry, he sounds like an a$$hole!!

The fact that you are carrying his child he should making sure you are okay, healthy and as stress free as possible! It makes me so angry that some women are treated like this.

Spend the money, sod it, and don't even feel a little bit bad about it. Take some control back - if you let him get away with it he'll always think he has the upper hand and keep doing it.

xx

 

[AndreaJayne]

I've already had the baby he is 9 months old, i have decided that in future I'm just guna buy things instead of asking him as cant be assed getting the same answer. Then this morning he says, u guna give me the silent treatment tonight cause if skin can't be assed with it. He is such a Jekyll & Hyde character. X

 

[lozzajohn1]

Yeah sounds good hun! Its just a control thing on his part but he could potentially do damage to your confidence and self-esteem. As long as you can see that then you'll be okay.

The trick is to make him think he's in control, the whole 'me man, you feeble woman' thing seems to make them feel better! xx

 

[AndreaJayne]

I think he already has affected my confidence and self esteem Ive been down a lot lately & feel I'm not myself anymore. I want to get to my fun happy self xx I used to always look nice now i just feel I can't be bothered anymore xxx

 

[Linny1989]

Never let a man bring you down hun x

 

[ABC237]

Gosh this is out of order! Did you mention all the stuff he buys?? I would just go ahead and spend what you want and tell him after! Oh and next time he wants to spend money say the same thing to him! xx

 

[redbear]

£5000 on cosmetic surgery and he complains over £38! Cheeky or what! If it makes you feel better then you go get it done. Sit down with him and tell him that its upsetting you that you dont seem to have any money to spend on yourself its all for him/ house/ lo x

 

[lozzajohn1]

Please don't let him affect your confidence. He is bringing you down to make himself feel better for his own insecurities. ( £5k on cosmetic surgery says it all!!). It's a ploy so in the end you'll never have the guts to leave if it gets bad enough.

Make the effort for YOU! Because YOU want to feel good and you are worth it (not meaning to quote l'oreal lol!).

Go get your hair/nails done (on him) and enjoy a glass of wine with the girls! xx

 

[umbongo]

Oh hun,what a nightmare. You are beautiful so you should be full of confidence, don't let him knock you down. Take back some control and start pampering yourself a bit.
If you think your relationship can take it sit him down and try and talk it through.
Also, make sure he gets a whole day with just your son sometime, that'll show him how hard it is! xx

 

[Sadrainbow]

I agree take some time for yourself and don't ask him for the money, just buy the things you need, his spending on himself is excessive and very unfair.

 

[AndreaJayne]

Aww thanks ladies really appreciate your msgs, been out today for some reta therapy but didn't find anything I liked nevermind there's always another day! Still booking treatments too!
I've left LO with him & he just runs to his mummy as he knows he can just sit on his arse & she will do everything. Got a banging headache so going straight to bed as soon as LO is in bed, he is working late so got no help xxxx

 

[HopesDreams]

If you have it within yourself - stand up for yourself, assert yourself & take back control. Some men think because they're the "bread winners" they have a right to dictate, control etc. Its an ugly relationship to be in & you need to stand up to him before he strips away your confidence & you become someone you don't recognise. How dare he! I'd soon bloody sort his wagon out!!

 

[siouxie]

I found my parnter very selfish during and after the baby arrived I didn't nag him to do things and he didn't do them. I chose to put the baby in my name as I was the one doing everything he didn't like it one bit but now he does a lot more as I think his realised what he lost

 

[AndreaJayne]

Well i stood up to him told him to shove his comments and that i was going to get what the hell i wanted as id rather spend £100 & be happy than be miserable! I also confided in him that night about being depressed and he started reacting like a dick so I told him to just leave me alone, I stated in the spare room as I told him I don't need his negativity & I don't need him to get better. Next day he apologised and had a good chat & I was pleasantly surprised as he said he didn't know that I felt so bad etc. didn't last v f'in long did it!!! He was going to do some house work tomorrow while I look after baby, but today I thought il do it all today do we can spend more time together as a family. He thanked me web he got home we had our tea then he was getting LO off to sleep which doesn't happen often so I go to make a coffee with my machine and u ladies will understand that I got happy at the thought of having finishing my coffee while it's hot! So he says oh well u make me a tea while I'm feeding baby, so I said look I don't ask u to do something for me every time I feed, bath, put baby to bed or do the washing or the pots so just give me a break. He totally missed my point and started going on about how hard it is for him going to work (like every1 else ha) and said u haven't even done much anyway (meaning housework). That was it my blood boiled I said how f'kn dare u say that after I've folded all your shirts left on the dining table & ur dirty f'in boxers u left on there too! I threw all his stuff on the floor the ungrateful little b'strd. So I said u know what why should I keep ur surgery secret (he is embarrassed he had it) and be loyal to you wen u have no fucking loyalties to me! I was only telling him the other night how he puts me down all the time & even after I brought it to his attention he continues to put me down. He threatened that if I tell ne1 about his surgery were over, I told him that I will get better with or without him as that's what I care about so f'ck him! Considering staying in the spare room, just paranoid he will just take the baby out while I'm asleep tomorrow (I have separation issues with leaving my baby) xxx I told him that I will be having a good think tomorrow as the way I felt I wanted to knock his block off but I took myself away as I'm not guna let myself get to that point as it will only make me feel like I'm losing against my depression. I knew I shouldn't have confided in him, I'm guna have to beat it on my own as I know it's the best way he won't help me xxxxx

 

[AndreaJayne]

I honestly feel that If I ripped some of his clothes it would give me a feeling of relief, just not worth the sh*t after it tho! Xxx

 

[precious_cargo]

As your oh a relationship is about suppot n been able to confide in him etc n work together as a team.

Maybe he needs a short sharp shock? Do u have anywhere you can go and stay with LO for a few days?? X



Babydust to all

 

[AndreaJayne]

My mums but would be a bit cramped with all her clothes & shoes! I've called his bluff & told him I don't want to be with him, so he said he will get the house valued today so we can put it up for sale, il see if he does as I don't think he will I think he is just going along with it xxxx

 

[AndreaJayne]

He has actually taken the car seat & my car & house keys & locked me & LO in the house. He can pack his f'in bags!!!!!!

 

[Linny1989]

I think u should pack his bags hun. X

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