Scared

[Lilelephant]

Didn't know where else to post!

I just fed up of feeling scared all the time! I was in tears earlier cos I am terrified something is gonna happen to LO! I know I couldn't cope if it did and it scares the heck out of me! Oh just says that I am being silly! I feel guilty for not enjoy my pregnancy cos I wanted it so bad! But I just want him to be ok and I can't stand the pregnancy bit! People keep telling me how wonderful it should feel to be pregnant but I just don't see it! I have worried myself since day 1 of my bfp this time and I dont know how to shake the feeling! I feel alone care wise when u was concerned about movements on thurs assessment unit refused to see me and I couldn't get hold of community mw
I got SPD really bad too which makes me feel awful and I am constantly thinking about my 3 lost ones that makes me so sad my best friend thinks I never got to grieve for the last one as I got pregnant again quickly and that's where this anxiety comes from but I don't know! Mw has said I am high risk for post natal depression because of all of this and I am scared of that too!
I bet I sound really selfish to u guys that have lost and are desperate to be pregnant! I always though I would love being pregnant but I spendthe whole time just wishing time away til dec/jan when he hopefully comes safe and sound and the whole pregnancy thing is behind me and just pray I can be a good mum.
Blah sorry for babbling

 

[tinselcat]

Hi MrsMc

Did you ever get counselling for your first 3 losses? That would have been a fairly traumatic experience so I don't think it's surprising that you're a bundle of nerves, even though you've made it through way past D-Day. If you could get some sessions to talk through your anxieties before the baby is born, I think that would help you a lot.

xx

 

[Lilelephant]

Hey Hun! I do have counselling at the time and I had 2 sessions beginning of pregnancy.

 

[kanga86]

Oh Hun, u have had a rough time to get where u are so it is only understandable that u are so worried about something going wrong. I think once I get my bfp, I will be panicking all the way till lo is born too, so don't feel alone. Maybe what tinsel cat said is a good idea, maybe u could talk to someone about ur fears and about pnd as thinking about it is only making it worse. it might really help u greive abit for the ones u lost and relax more about this pregnancy with little Orlando.

Stay strong because u are doing amazingly well and u will be a great mum xxx

 

[lisey27]

Hiya,

I think its totally understandable that you feel anxious because of what you have been through, I know I will be the same when I fall pregnant again. Maybe the others are right and it would be helpful to have some sessions to speak about your anxieties, sometimes it helps to say it out loud to someone that isnt family or a friend (thats what I found when I had counselling few years back). If they have said you are at higher risk for post-natal depression then surely they should help you now to maybe prevent it?
I really hope you are feeling a little better and you don't sound selfish at all...sending you loads of love and hugs xx

 

[1986princess]

Understand how u feel about the worry, I had one mc but still
Worry about every little thing especially since finding out they are twins( high risk pregnancy) obviously ur situation is different but I understand what it's like to feel totally out of control like it's out of ur hands. There's about 3 weeks between us but look how far we have come and how good the odds are. X

 

[BabyBrain]

I fully understand where you are coming from. I've never had an mc but it's taken me so very long to get pregnant I am constantly worrying that something will happen and I will lose my chance to be a mummy. I don't think I could handle waiting another 10 years if something does go wrong and would probably give up trying all together.
I think all we can really do is try to stay as positive as possible xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Lilelephant]

Thanks for all the replies!
I have booked in with my counsellor and am gonna keep a diary of how I feel etc to try and let go of those feelings!
I am sure all our babies will be grand and we have nothing to worry about and it does prove how loved they already are!

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Honey i am dreading being pregnant again. Honestly dreading it. Loosing this baby so late, well i just think i am going to be terrified through the whole thing. No relief when i get to 12 weeks, no relief when i get to 24 weeks. Its all just going to be extra scans and hardcore worrying.

You'll be fine though x remember, 10 kicks a day x

 

[Lilelephant]

Fi I know I can't possible imagine how it will be for you! atleast uwill be monitored closely even tho u will worry between each check up x

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

the thought of a scan fills me with dread... i have nightmares about that scan you know... unfortunately i dont think having more scans is going to help me much x

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

sorry trying to make you feel better and clearly doing a terrible job! I can understand why you are worried but i feel in my heart that you are destined to have that baby xxx

try and stay positive xx

 

[Lilelephant]

Big bump I think of u everyday x

 

[babyelmo]

I probably can't reassure you much but I know exactly what you're feeling. I had a mmc last September and a mc in December. I got my bfp last week and i'm petrified. I want to be able to enjoy this pregnancy but the fear is so huge. Big hugs for you, i'm sure everything will be perfect. We do tend to carry our past experiences and they effect our thinking now so it's only natural I guess. xx

 

[Lilelephant]

Congrats on ur bfp Hun!!!