Renting, Babies, buying...arggg

[tipper]

Hi ladies,

First off I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense, I think I'm just more frustrated than anything else with my situation and need a rant.

DH and I are still not ttc, but I'm slowly breaking him down. Our current situation is that we rent an apartment. It's a relatively nice one, large rooms, great price, (tons of storage space!!), wonderful landlady... but we're renting. For awhile OH had been of the mindset that first you buy a home, then you start a family. My thinking has always been I don't want to have kids when I'm too old, and buying a house/condo/anything has been very unattainable for us until the recent housing slump.

A couple of weeks ago we met with a Realtor who showed us some properties for sale. We saw one we really liked, but in order for us to even make a bid we'd have to come up with about $18,000 which we just don't have. Our parents could possibly help us out, but I really don't want to put them in that situation. And on top of the loans, for what we can afford, we could get a condo/town home that is several hundred square feet smaller, and pay almost double the amount in rent and fees.

It's just stressful because I really want to start a family, but I also really want to try to get into our own place. But if we buy a place now, we'd be so stretched for any extra money that it would put off TTC for who knows how long. And on the other hand, if we have a little one, we'd probably put the home hunting on hold indefinitely.

I think I've lost whatever vague point/question I was trying to get out

Any of you run into the same situation?


Edited to add: after re-reading this, I honestly don't know how anyone could respond to this Why can't I just have both!!

 

[Lorna]

We are sort of in the same situation as you in that we are renting. But house prices are astronomical in the UK and we simply can't afford to buy at the moment.

Have you done your budget for when you have a baby? we have looked at our possible finances and decided we can still afford a kid and save a little. It will take us a while to save a big enough deposit but we will eventually be able to buy a house if we are careful, we are also the house market crashes some more so house prices become cheaper.

Tbh I don't think you can ever have enough money to have a child, there will always be something else you need, ie, when you own your house will you then put off ttc until you get a new kitchen etc?

I'm not sure what advice to offer you other than sit down have a really good luck at your finances and do a budget for when you have a child, show it to your other half then maybe say to him if we do x, y and z, we can afford it.

Good luck, this credit crunch is a nightmare!

 

[maybebaby]

We're renting, there's no way we could afford a big enough property where I live. Whilst I'd like to own my own home we have a lovely landlady and it's great to have the security of knowing if the roof falls in it's not our responsibility!

I always thought I'd get married, buy a house then have a baby but here I am unmarried and renting! It doesn't really matter in the long run. Hope yoiur hubby comes round soon

 

[tipper]

Thank you both for your replies

I think yesterday I was going a bit crazy, and all the stress over things came to a head. And in those situations I should really be far, far, far away from a keyboard (but I never learn ).

I know renting isn't the end of the world, and I think we were really blessed to find the location that we are in now. I guess a hidden part of me really does want to be able to provide our kids with a home, but home is where the heart is........right?

I've crunched some numbers, mainly in my head, but if we were to buy a place now, we'd end up paying about $1,000 more a month. I know babies are expensive, but I can't imagine them costing $1k more each and every month!! I think we would definitely be able to tuck some of the money away for our deposit on a home someday

Again, thank you both very much! You've made me feel much more sane, which can be a hard thing to do at times.

 

[jo jo]

When i got pregnant with Jess, me and oH were renting a 1 bedroom flat.

We moved back to my moms for 5 months and saved up enough for a deposit. Are you able to do anything like that? It's a great way to save..

Just noticed you live in california, how lovely, im jealous

 

[tipper]

I don't think moving back in with either set of parents would work out very well. My parents live about an hour and a half away, and my Sister-in-law is moving back in with DH's parents. It would be a mad-house if we all moved into their home. It would be nice saving all that money though.

and..

Just noticed you live in california, how lovely, im jealous

I would LOVE to be out of california. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

 

[EllieBelle]

We have just considered moving into rented accommodation in order to live somewhere bigger as the house we own is a little small - it a 2 bedroom cottage, but with all our stuff (we also have a house in France thats for sale and have had to bring all our possessions back to the UK with us).

I know many people who rent and have children.

I dont know how old you both are, but all I will say is there is never a "good" time to start a family....there will always be a reason why you should leave it for a while longer, so my advise is as long as you can afford to bring a child into the world, and ideally are in a secure relationship - then go for it!

Keep working on your OH........