Really sorry about this... :(

[amethyst_echidna]

I haven't been entirely honest with you all, and I want to be.

This pregnancy is definitely confusing at the moment, the reason being I'm not 100% certain who the father is. I'm 99% certain it's my husband's, but I spent one very drunken night (extremely unlike me, I think my drinks were far stronger than I realised) with a friend and in the morning we were both horrified as to what had happened. I didn't take the morning after pill as there was already a chance I was pregnant with my husband's baby and I didn't want to risk its health. I immediately told my husband and after the initial shock he forgave me unconditionally as he knows me and knows it's not in my nature to do ANYTHING like this. For that I can't thank him enough.

I was with my husband on the 11th, 12th, 18th, 19th, 20th, 21st and 22nd Feb. 23rd of Feb was the night of this party. My husband and I had been actively trying for a baby for a while but I came off depo-provera in May 2007 so my periods still weren't fully back to normal. Whenever my husband and I had sex it was unprotected, but the party was protected although being in the state we were (I hardly remember anything) the condom may have slipped or not been applied properly. Plus he didn't put it on immediately and for a few strokes it was unprotected.

I feel like such a slut - this is SO unlike me and I feel terrible, I feel like I don't deserve this baby sometimes and I'm so worried that it's not my husband's. The amniocentesis test today was to test for paternity as well as to check for genetic abnormalities as I'm adopted and don't know my full family history (only mother's side).

The only upside is that the scan today seems to back up conception on the 12th (error of plus or minus 9 days) so it still seems unlikely that sex on the 23rd could have resulted in this pregnancy, although the doctor said that it's still possible but very unlikely.

I'm so sorry for not being honest with you all from the start but I'm so ashamed. I'm starting to lose the plot though and waiting for the results of the amnio is going to kill me, I'm going insane here. I hope you can all forgive me.

AMETHYST

 

[Jade&Evie]

well done for telling your husband. you must have a good marriage if you can get through that- I personally would be kicked to the curb if I cheated on my OH! I don't like cheating and TBH I don't think you cheat unless there's something wrong- being drunk isn't a good enough excuse for me

Just something to consider- even if the baby has not been fathered by your DH will he still raise it the same as any future children you might have together?

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. Hope you get the result you want.

 

[amethyst_echidna]

I don't like cheating and TBH I don't think you cheat unless there's something wrong- being drunk isn't a good enough excuse for me

You know something I agree and looking back I think the reason was that I had a few problems (not related to hubby) that I'd bottled up which is possibly the underlying reason and the alcohol really didn't help (believe me, I was utterly wasted ). I think that the only reason hubby forgave me is he could see how devastated I was and that I hadn't meant to hurt him or leave him, and he knows it's so totally out of character for me he wanted to address the problems rather than throw me out. I told him about this because I realised that it was a lack of honesty that had led me there in the first place and didn't want it to become any worse. I owed him at least that even if he did throw me out.

Just something to consider- even if the baby has not been fathered by your DH will he still raise it the same as any future children you might have together?

He's still sorting that out in his head but I don't want to pressurise him into anything. Personally, I don't think I could go through with an abortion especially not at this later stage so I'm absolutely cacking myself as to what to do should the result be negative. Neither of us want to harm the baby but feel that it's better to have an abortion now than to treat the child differently, it's a question of working out if that would actually happen and trying to be honest about it, no matter how awful the prospect seems. God I really hope it's my husband's...

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. Hope you get the result you want.

Thank you for your understanding. I know I've totally messed things up but I so desperately want to make them right.

AMETHYST

 

[lfc_sarah]

I hope you get the result you want too

 

[Snuggle]

I hope you get the result you want. You're lucky to have such a forgiving husband

 

[*Star*]

are you having the amnio to get a prebirth dna test done?

try not to worry, if your husband stuck by you after you telling him about the cheating, imsure he would too if the baby turns out not to be his.
but by the sounds of it it does sound likely it is.

just remember - no one is perfect.

 

[abcd1234]

No-one will shoot you down in flames for this, you've been honesy and the circumstances in to which you ahve your baby are irrelevant, as long as you love and want them.

No-ones been nasty to me and my baby is the result of a stupid love affair. I got scared of commitment (not an excuse i no) and went off with a total twat for a bit of uncomplicated fun, and yeah getting drunk every other night with him was great but getting pregnant wasnt planned. I'm lucky cos my ex has (almost) forgiven me for it and loves Tally even though she isnt his.

Yes my situation makes me look like a total cow (along with every other word under the sun) but it's not who i am and things work out, jsut like they will for you.

 

[Jollypops]

First have some of these
I'm sure you've beaten yourself up enough and therefore don't need me to tell you i think you were a plonker....but at the end of the day these things happen.
I hope that the tests come back with a result that your after and that it all works out in the end for you.
Its not likely to be something you repeat again, hopefully!!!!

 

[Krystal]

Awww hun

None of us are perfect and we all makes mistakes in life. You told your husband straight away and although it doesn't make the cheating right it shows that your not a slut!! So don't think that of yourself.

The only way you are going to know what to do with your future is by getting the results of this test. When are they due back? Try not to think too much about all your options yet cos you don't know which is relevent until you find out for sure.

I hope you get the result you want and you and your husband can look to the future and leave the mistake in the past where it belongs

 

[Suzie and Faith]

Well done for telling your husband and for being honest. For that reason i don't think people will judge you.
Yeh cheating is wrong but you did the best thing after by coming clean.

I really hope you get the result you want xxxxx

 

[Tadpole]

Aww hun. It isn't for us to judge you, this is an issue between you and your husband. I hope you get the result you want but we will all be here no matter what.

 

[spink]

dont feel too bad,i am already a single mum to a 3 year old and now i am pregnant after a one night stand.other people may have opinions but i figure that as long as me and my children are happy then dont care what anyone else thinks!x

 

[Kimbo]

have pm'd you

 

[amethyst_echidna]

are you having the amnio to get a prebirth dna test done?

Mostly, and also partly because I don't know my paternal family history (I'm adopted and am only in touch with my birth mum) so we figured it'd be good on both fronts. I honestly don't know what we'll do if it's not his baby... I don't want to abort, I really don't.

have pm'd you

Thank you hun, I've replied.

AMETHYST

 

[skairdykat]

I didn't know you could get DNA tests done before birth.

 

[amethyst_echidna]

I didn't know you could get DNA tests done before birth.

Nor did I before this. Thanks for the hugs. Apparently they can do pre-birth DNA tests in a few different ways, but seeing as I was already 14 weeks and an amnio was recommended anyway, we thought we should do it this way.

AMETHYST

 

[Kimbo]

[quote="Kim&Leah":3uur9w38]have pm'd you

Thank you hun, I've replied.

AMETHYST[/quote:3uur9w38]

back at'cha

 

[josiegirl]

I have been through something like this, though not when I was married. Mistakes are usually forgivable, and you do sound like an honest and forthright person. The baby is most likely your husbands, it would be very unlikely it is the other man's, from what you've said. Maybe you are just still carrying some guilt and it is causing you to worry? I don't know
You will most def. be okay though.

 

[trixipaws]

that must be so hard for u. we all make mistakes hun, u sound like a lovely person. try not to stress im sure itll all be ok