Really really scared, dont want to do it

[kristal]

Hi

I am 37 weeks pregnant and I really really dont want to go into labour (been having pains for weeks and lately I am just no good with pain) I am scared of needles and I dont want gas and air as it makes me feel ill.
I was my sisters birthing partner last year and seen her son getting born (whether that has something to do with it I dont know) but no matter what anyone says to me (though it hasnt been that helpful!) I just really really dont want to go through labour it is really scaring me and everytime I think something is happening I keep thinking no no no.
Can anyone say anything to help me or anything?

Thanks

 

[oldermum]

Whether it's baby no1 or no6 the thought of labour is scary for most women.

You'll honestly be fine and after the baby is born you'll wonder why you thought this way. Your body will naturally take over and you'll find yourself doing what comes natural. Please don't worry.

 

[lauramumof2]

Its a funny kind of pain, not like if say, you banged your arm. It gradual and comes and goes. If you are in a lot of pain and someone comes with a needle and it will make the pain go away you wont be bothered, trust me.

I have a very low pain threshold and have started labour twice and had 2 sections.

Try not to get uptight, maybe you could see a hypnotherapist or get something to relax you. You sound as if its worried you so much over a period of time that you are thinking it will be a lot worse than its going to be.

There wouldnt be so many second/third etc time mum if it was really bad.
Laurax

 

[kristal]

That is what I am thinking, but my sister has turned around and said that people have said to her not to frighten me with the labour, but she said she isnt going to lie and that the pain is really really bad, although she has had three children herself.

I dont think a therapist would be able to do anything now (not long left to go!) but as I said I hate pain but I also hate needles and dont like gas and air and have been told that pethadine makes you feel really sick and out of it.

Think I am going to have to have a word with my midwife, but, if I am honest I am really scared to death and especially now it seems like I have got to do it on my own

Someone please tell me that things will get better, as the way things have gone through this pregnancy I have really had enough, between not being well and the other half giving me grief all of the time, so much so that I have really had enough and told him to go in the morning and I started packing his things.

I love him loads but I cannot put up with him having a go at me all of the time and making me feel like crap, feels like my head is going to explode. I am not even sure that I will be online for a while as he will more than likely take the internet and the bed like he wanted to do last time, even though he didnt pay for it but hi grandparents did, and he doesnt want to keep it himself but sell it and 'he will give me half of the money' so in not so polite words I told him to shove it.

Sorry about that.

 

[Sassyminx]

to be honest i think its totally insensitive of people to try and scare you with their birth stories, every single labour is different, and everyone deals with pain in different ways, ive got a really low pain threshold and it honestly isnt that bad, i mean dont get me wrong it aint like having a poo but its not like being murdered

have a word with your midwife about how scared you are, im sure she will make sure you have as much reassurance as you need to help ease any worries youve got, im sure you will get through it, think of it this way, if it hurt that much nobody would ever have more than one child

 

[fran_23]

my only advice is to not listen to other peoples stories (for example that pethadine makes you sick) they are going to scare you more and eveyones different. i had a nice experience of pethadine.

i'm really bad with pain i couldnt tolerate my sweep but when it comes to labour something else just kicks in..you find this inner strength that you never knew you had. everyone is scared of labour especially the first time because its the unknown but you can do it, and i'm sure you will be fine and afterwards when its over and you have a beautiful baby you will look back on it and realise its nothing to be scared of! its so worth it!

do you have any tattoos or piercings?? i'm not comparing the pain to these but this is my theory: when you have a tattoo or piercing you know its going to hurt but its not as if somebody just stabs you with a needle..its pain with a purpose and you know the end result will be worth it...the same with giving birth! you know that once the painful bit is done you'll have the baby and the end result more than justifys the fear you feel now and any pain you go through!!

 

[Jaidy]

my only advice is to not listen to other peoples stories (for example that pethadine makes you sick) they are going to scare you more and eveyones different. i had a nice experience of pethadine.

i'm really bad with pain i couldnt tolerate my sweep but when it comes to labour something else just kicks in..you find this inner strength that you never knew you had. everyone is scared of labour especially the first time because its the unknown but you can do it, and i'm sure you will be fine and afterwards when its over and you have a beautiful baby you will look back on it and realise its nothing to be scared of! its so worth it!

do you have any tattoos or piercings?? i'm not comparing the pain to these but this is my theory: when you have a tattoo or piercing you know its going to hurt but its not as if somebody just stabs you with a needle..its pain with a purpose and you know the end result will be worth it...the same with giving birth! you know that once the painful bit is done you'll have the baby and the end result more than justifys the fear you feel now and any pain you go through!!

That sounds a great way to describe labour Fran. Gives me hope!

I am pooping my pants too Kristal!!!!

But at the end of the day I know this baby has got to come out now and like Fran says at the end of it we will have a gorgeous baby son and it will all be worth it (I hope lol)

 

[kristal]

thank you all

yes, I have a few piercings including my tongue and a tattoo at the bottom of my back which isnt really small!
I guess I am scared of the pain as I have had a few pains lately and they have really hurt and I know its not anything compared to what I am going to go through and this thing that is going on with my partner, I am just worn out and dont feel that I have the strength to go through this.

 

[Xena]

I'm sorry you're feeling scared.

It might make you feel slightly better if you think about the fact that a lot of us on here have given birth - and if we say it's okay, well then, we must be right lol. We're all still around to tell the tale

I didn't enjoy labour - I doubt there could be many people who enjoy labour - but I'm still TTC number 2, so what does that tell you? lol

 

[kellysomer]

Ok. your labour is going to happen. It will hurt.

BUT you will have a baby at the end of it. It is a painful but magical experience and if i could go through it right now i would. It is the best thing you will ever do and anyway who says you cant have pain relief? If you want to do it, have the lot.

I am a complete pain wimp and i did 26 hours with nothing, not even gas and air, what does that tell you! I'm not brave and fearless i was scared to but found strength in the people there helping me. Find a doula or good birthing partner and your body will deal with the rest. Millions and millions of people have done it before and most will do it again! If it was that bad there would be a lot of only children!

You are gonna HAVE A BABY! you are gonna be MUMMY! Cherish this time and look forward positively, think of the birth as the arrival of the new life not the end of yours ! Enjoy the experience, its the best! Its the start of a whole new life!

I'm gonna have 3 more........

 

[Jayceesmumma]

End of the day honey we are women, we are baby machines! We were made to give birth, your body CAN handle it and you'll be fine! Dont listen to horror stories coz EVERY labour is different! Some people have 2hr labours some much longer, you wont know til you get there. Even a woman carrying her6th child wont know what exactly to expect.
Go with the flow and listen to your body. The more you fret the more it will hurt! I was concentrating on the pain while i was in labour and it was awful, then mw put the radio on for me and was chatting to me and getting me to concentrate fully on breathing and the pain kinda went away... it was amazing. Just relax honey your body knows best!