Really Daft question, but hope somebody will be able to help

[Sahara]

Some of you may remember me from a while ago, I posted regarding some OCD issues I had. Everyone was really helpful and I wanted to thank you all and say that I am doing really well now.

I had another problem that occurred recently which my therapist said often happens when you get others under control. I mentioned I had posted on here before and she said if it helps do it again.

So here I am.....

Nicola has been walking about 3 months now and I worry all the time about her walking in dog poo. I am always worried that she has poo on her shoes and I might not realise it. (i know most of the time it's really obvious, but I worry there maybe some there but not realise it cos its only a small patch and it may look like mud)

I worry because I know it can make children go blind and because when I put here shoes on I can't help but touch the soles. Well its impossible to put kids shoes on without touching the soles. Everytime I put her shoes on or off I have to wash my hands incase there maybe this bit of really small dog poo that isn't probably there at all and is just mud.

So my question is do any Mums here wash there hands after putting there childrens shoes on or do you never bother, and do you not worry about dog poo unless its completely obvious and really smells and if it doesn't you presume its just mud?

The problem is cos I live in the country there is always mud on the pavements so her shoes tend to get dirty easily, hence where alot of my worry comes from.

I know these questions are daft, but I am so close to cracking my problems apart from this I really want to get over it so I can have my second baby because I can't until I do.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks
Sarah

 

[Sherlock]

I've nannied for many families over the years, most of whom had dogs as pets also.

I've never really worried about dog poo on shoes and have never washed my hands after putting shoes on children unless they got visibly dirty. You can smell when its poo as a rule and mud has a totally different smell. And also if mud is dry if you give the shoes a good whack on the ground it usually cracks and drops off. Poo I wash off in a tub of disinfectant and leave the shoes to dry.

When you are walking along a pavement you can usually see if there is poo around, so can keep an eye out and guide your child round it. If she is anything like some of the kids I've looked after they are sometimes fascinated when they see a dog poo and want to peer at it (of course not to touch it) but its the old poo fascination from a distance

With regards to the disease in dog poo, yes its a possibilitty, but unless your child puts hands in mouth after touching an infected area the risk is very small. As I understand it this is something that affects about 100 children a year in all in the UK.

My reading on it tells me it cannot be passed from one person to another either.

Have a read of the NHS Direct section on it. Intro and Causes are useful reading

http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/articles/ar ... icleId=369

I'd try to relax a bit more about it. Easier said than done, but overall, if you follow basic hygeine it should be ok.

We live rural also and we trail mud in and out of our house. We keep a dog and ensure we pick up the poo on a regular basis. Our LO is due soon and tbh I won't worry overly about this sort of thing. I'll make sure as LO grows they understand about dog poo and it being icky so to try to avoid it etc, but other than that I won't worry. I'll deal with it as it happens and ensure LO learns the importance of handwashing when hands are dirty.

TBH though most kids play in mud and so on and come to no harm most of the time. For the small amount that sadly do become ill for whatever reason, yes its terrible, but we cannot wrap them or ourselves up in cotton wool. We don't do them any favours if we try to keep them sterile and spotless. Natural immunity needs to be built up. Getting grubby is part of childhood.

Hope something in there was useful to you And glad to hear you are doing well with your OCD and things are better

 

[Sahara]

Hi Sherlock,

Thank you so much for your reply.

Yes it has been helpful, can I just confirm you you only wash your hands if its your hands that are visibly dirty, not the shoes that are visibly dirty?

Hopefully I will be able to post on here shortly the good news that I am try to conceive again soon, when my problems are alot better.

Thank you for your understanding also. It is a horrible affliction this and it puts such a strain on m, my partner and my daughter I can't wait to be better.

 

[Sherlock]

Hi Sherlock,

Thank you so much for your reply.

Yes it has been helpful, can I just confirm you you only wash your hands if its your hands that are visibly dirty, not the shoes that are visibly dirty?

Yup. I wash my hands. But thats just general cleanliness anyways. If the shoes are a bit muddy I don't worry. They are going on and being worn so will only get dirty again. If they have poo on then of course I'll clean them up aswell but tbh a pile of dog poo on the bottom of the shoe does not happen that often. And usually you spot/smell that when getting back and taking them off so clean them then.

I think you have to find what is comfortable for you, but that it does not become something you obsess about. If you are happier cleaning the shoes when you get home then do so and wash your hands afterwards. But don't let it get more than that. If you can leave them be with a bit of dirt/mud on and put them on again the next day without cleaning then also

Hopefully you'll find a good balance

I'm glad you are taking so many steps forward with this. I know it cannot be easy and understand what an effort it must be to get as far as you have, so well done and good on you for doing this

Look forward to hearing from you

 

[trixipaws]

iv got mild OCD i think since melissa was born. before i washed my hands only after i did a poo or changed the cat litter- but not before or after handling food, not after doing a wee, not after any kind of sexual act involving using my hands- hardly ever!

but now, i go thru liquid soap like every week im buying it! i wash my hands A LOT. before and after feeding millie or preparing her food or drinks, after her nappy changes, after iv touched somewhere the cats have been... oh just all the time i wash my hands now.

and im like u, im obsessed with invisible germs from poo- in our case the cats coz of toxoplasmosis- i think about them going in the litter tray then walking around and i think wherever their paws have been theres toxo and wont let millie touch anything- my heart just races if she moves off the playmat and spreads her hands on the laminate floor- i wipe her hands with about 3 wipes each! ill be a nervous wreck too when it comes to her walking outside with shoes on, coz our streets are full of effing dog poo i HATE dog owners who leave it there i feel like smashing their faces into their dogs poo GRR!

sorry that doesnt really help u but i just want u to kno that ur not alone

 

[Sahara]

Thanks Sherlock.

But you would only wash your hands if they were dirty after putting on muddy shoes but not bother if not?

I would like to be able to get to the stage where I don't wash my hands after putting on shoes unless I can see mud on my hands if thats what most Mums do and you say you do.

Of course it has to be what I am comfortable with like you say, and it is finding a balance which is why it is good to talk to people who have been there.

Hey trixipaws, its really hard not to be worried isn't it?

I was like you before I had Nicola. Wahsed my hands the amount you did, but now I get through a 500ml of liquid soap a week. It costs a fortune Haha. Never mind baby milk (not that shes on it now!!)

I hate dog owners who let there dogs crap everywhere, its minging. I used to have a dog and we always cleared it up. There is no excuse not to. I regulaurl;y watch people letting there dogs poo where ever they fancy and walk off. GRRRRR. My OH suggested putting shoes throught the washing machine once if I was worried and I nearly had a nervous breakdown at the thought. I was like you can't do that arrrgh

I can see invisble germs everywhere too. Those stupid adverts on TV don't help. Don't get me started in chicken and stuff. I hate preparing that and it never used to bother me.

If you want to share any worries with me feel free, cos I know how it feels and if I can help I would be glad too.

 

[Sherlock]

But you would only wash your hands if they were dirty after putting on muddy shoes but not bother if not?

Yup only if my hands were visibly dirty. After putting them on or taking them off. Otherwise I'd not worry They get washed often enough as it is as I am one of those who washes them after going to the loo etc. Also as I keep chickens I always wash my hands when I come in from handling them etc.

 

[Sherlock]

I would like to be able to get to the stage where I don't wash my hands after putting on shoes unless I can see mud on my hands if thats what most Mums do and you say you do.

Of course it has to be what I am comfortable with like you say, and it is finding a balance which is why it is good to talk to people who have been there.

I can see invisble germs everywhere too. Those stupid adverts on TV don't help. Don't get me started in chicken and stuff. I hate preparing that and it never used to bother me.

I have to say I don't really recall Mums I've worked for worrying about washing hands overly either. Mind you, some of them after 4 children I guess they are a lot more relaxed than first time Mums maybe. But still everyone of them has their way of doing things. But they generally all encouraged good basic hygiene for their children.

General good hygiene is always important but I have to admit apart from the kitchen worktops, fridge etc I tend not to worry much. A home cannot be sterile and nor can a child. You can make your life miserable by trying to get rid of germs and so on. So what you are doing is great. You've made huge inroads and hopefully will continue to do so As I said before natural immunity being built to things around us is a good thing

I have an odd slight OCD quirk. It all stemmed from an event that occured in 1995 believe it or not. Mine is electrical sockets and checking the door is locked. I can't go out for longer than a couple of hours without checking every socket and ensuring that all the things that are not needed while out are turned off. And I always always need to go back and check the door twice to ensure its shut. My hubby often takes over checking and locking up but then I worry its not done properly. Even though I know he has checked it all. However, in more recent times I've gotten a lot better. Its taken my about 10 years to get back to my old ways as until then I lived on my own Since my hubby began livnig with me, I've been able to have him help me out with it. I can now go out for most of the day and not worry overly. But I still panic half way down the motorway I've left the iron on or something. Hubby then tells me I checked it 3 times and he watched me do so. As soon as we get home I check anyways

So I do understand how hard it can be and think you are doing so well with it all

 

[lea m]

I have to say, I do wash my hands after putting on the childrens shoes or now they are bigger, I make them wash their hands after putting on shoes!
Im always washing my hands tbh! lol I find it an important thing to do tbh and Im ok with that! I wash them after going to the toilet, after just flushing the chain of the toilet, before touching food, after touching raw meat, after picking up things on the floor!? I m a bit of a germaphobe lol!

 

[Moomum]

I have an obsession with dog poo too. I'm constantly on the look out for it. If I see it when we're walking to school, I'll call out to my little girl "poo alert!" lol The thought of wheeling the buggy through it fills me with dread

I always wash my hands after touching shoes. I would NEVER touch the wheels of the buggy

Good luck with your recovery

 

[Sherlock]

I would NEVER touch the wheels of the buggy

Hehe we went for a buggy that has wheels that pop off at the touch of a button/spring thing, so easy to clean etc. Was a big plus point. But more to remove mud etc than dog poo. We live on a farm and are surrounded by sheep, pigs and cows. Chickens in the garden and sheepdogs outside, plus our Whippet in the house. There is crap of some sort almost everywhere we go. I've cared for kids brought up on farms and so on and never had any problems before so am not overly worried for my own either living on one.

 

[Moomum]

I would NEVER touch the wheels of the buggy

Hehe we went for a buggy that has wheels that pop off at the touch of a button/spring thing, so easy to clean etc. Was a big plus point. But more to remove mud etc than dog poo. We live on a farm and are surrounded by sheep, pigs and cows. Chickens in the garden and sheepdogs outside, plus our Whippet in the house. There is crap of some sort almost everywhere we go. I've cared for kids brought up on farms and so on and never had any problems before so am not overly worried for my own either living on one.

I think I would chill out in your situation. I'm not affraid of muck, just don't like dog shit

 

[lea m]

If I see it when we're walking to school, I'll call out to my little girl "poo alert!" lol

Hahah Im the same! My kiddies will be walking down and all you will hear of me is "WATCH THAT POO!!!!!!" at the top of my voice! hahaha I must say it about 10 times just on the 5 minute walk to school! Sometimes its just leaves haha by the time I get home Im a nervous wreck hahahaha

 

[Sahara]

Hey everyone,

Thanks for taking the time to reply to my questions. I haven't been around cos my OH Dad has been poorly and things have been quite hectic, but he is a bit better now.

I swear I can see dog poo 3 miles off and when I get there it turns out to be a pile of rotting leaves haha paranoid or what!!

Oh my - the buggy. I hate the wheels of the buggy. When we go to Mum and toddlers Nicola seem to want to go over to the buggys that are there and touch the wheels. Aaargh that freaks me out. And she loves picking up my trainers when we go to my OH Mums house. I take them off just inside the backdoor and she always has to go and pick them up.

Why do I have to have a daughter who has a shoe fetish when I am paranoid about them!!!!

I am glad I am not the only one that worries about it though.

We went out in the buggy the other day and there was a pile of poo that was massive. It looked like it had come from a great dane!!! I thought if Nicola trod in that inevermind her shoes the bottom of her trousers would be covered in it!!!

Has anyone had that problem where it went on their clothes as well eeek!!! I would have to take them of straight away if that happened. She would be walking up the road in her nappy LOL

On the serious side has anyone had that happen to them and if so how did you handle it?

Thanks again everyone though for your advice and support I really appreciate it and your best wishes for my recovery

Sarah

 

[trixipaws]

gosh u kno what sahara its funny im reading this again coz i was thinking about u today! well not just u i mean i was thinking about this subject. or should i say- inwardly panicking and feeling sick while tryna remain calm and rational!

ok, i ALWAYS wear house-shoes of some sort- either slippers, or jelly shoes, or ballet pumps, or flip-flops, coz i dont think the floors are clean, mostly coz of the cats but also coz of the mud that comes in underneath shoes and the wheels of the pushchair. but my boyf doesnt. he's not OCD like me lol!

anyway, earlier melissa was sat on the floor (on the playmat) and my boyf and i were on the couches. he wiggled his foot (wearing sock) near her and of course she giggled and grabbed it. i was just thinking "NOOOOOOO stop!" coz i thought his foot has been all over the kitchen floor while he'd been making his dinner- i thought she might as well be rubbing her hands on the floor right next to the cat litter tray- ARGH!

but i thought about what sherlock said and i thought "normal people wouldnt worry about invisible germs- his socks look clean- its FINE!" but it took a great deal of willpower not to freak out i tell you!

 

[Sahara]

Hi Trixipaws,

You know that is one of the hardest things to do for me is overcome the thoughts.

Like the invisible germ thought and the other thoughts like did I wash my hands after I changed her nappy last and then fed her!!!

You did brill to resisit it and you the more you do the easier it gets until one day you don't think aboout it anymore. That would be exactly how I would try and tackle it if I had that worry.

This might help you fight some of the thoughts cos it certainly helps me.....unless I am having full blown panic!!!

My partner has no arms so he does everything with his feet including making and feeding Nicola her lunch and dinner and standing outside in his bare feet on the door mat having a fag - where everyone wipes their shoes. And he never washes his feet before he feeds her (he does if he has been to the loo etc tho!!!) He has done this since she was about 9 months old and she is nearly 18 months now!!

When he was a kid his brother used to moan to his Mum you always make me wash my hands before dinner but Richard never has to wash his feet!!!

Sometimes it really helps me to think of that. This is why I get so frustrated with myself because I couldn't do what he does it would give me a nervous breakdown, but I can let him do it. Weird huh?!?! My counsellor said its because I have an over inflated sense of responsibilty to my daughter and that while of course I should be responsible for her and care about her welfare I have to put it into perspective. Its just easier said than done.

I am terrible I wander around in bare feet and of course so does my OH. So as a result we had a terrible time getting Nicola to were shoes. She has only been wearing them about 6 weeks now and she won't keep them on longer than 2 seconds when she gets home. She whips them off like grease lightning!!!!!

Anways well done for not panicking if you want advice let me know anytime [/img]