Rant

[futuremum]

Hi!

I do not understand my OH at all. I went back to work full time as you know and I am finding it difficult to cope between that and house work. This morning i started to clean up as the house needed it and he told me not to do anything, to rest. i could not as the house was really messy (still is as i have not time to do every room!) and the clothes were in desperate need of being washed. So here i am, asking for nothing washing up, washing clothes, cleaning up the house, went food shopping. My oh looked after Thomas while i was shopping but otherwise i did all those things as well as looking after thomas. At some point, thomas went to sleep so i phoned a friend. When thomas woke up, my oh took him and played with him so i stayed on the phone as i have not got much opportunity now... Anyway thomas was asking for food, i thought he would feed him as the bottles are prepared in advance. No he went grumpy, told me to hang up to feed thomas and as i was on the phone while warming his bottle up, he put thomas in his moses and went upstairs. anyway, i hunged up, fed thomas but in the middle he needed to pooh. Because his pooh is solid, he always get very upset. My oh came out of his room, telling me that when he looks after him he never cries, that i stress him out, that i neglect my boy because i am not playing with him much and i am better off at work!!!

I feel so angry. when he looks after thomas, he does the washing up and tidy a bit but he does not do what i do ie washing the clothes, folding them, cleaning toilets, bathroom..... He plays with Tom a lot and makes a mess leaving toys and clothes everywhere, food on the kitchen work surface!!!! He was on his pc all the time apart from the times he looked after our boy. He also thinks i put tom in bed to get rid of him and this is not true it is because he is tired. I think this is so unfair as I am really trying my hardest but it is never enough. I admit i do not play with tom as much as i should but i still play with him!!!!

That made me feel so down! I am so tired too but he does not beleive me. yesterday while driving on the motorway i felt so dizzy. i am very clumsy and pay less attention to things and i cry very easily . i feel dizzy and sick some days as i cannot catch my sleep but what i am doing is not good enough!!!!

Sorry for the rant, you do not need to reply it is just to let it come out as i do not have anybody to talk to really.

 

[Urchin]

Awwww hun ((((HUG))))

OH's can be weird creatures can't they. What a wonderful life for him to be able to sit around all day playing and not worrying about the washing and the housework. No wonder Thomas doesn't cry if he's being pampered all the time. He'll have his work cut out when he really needs Thomas to get a little more independant so he can get stuff done

Does he realise how lucky he is? How many men get the opportunity to stay at home with their kids? He should stop complaining and start being more helpful!

 

[emilia]

Hugs from me too!!!
What a plonker... I hope he realises that what he said/done, has upset you!!
I think you're doing brilliant with working, being mum to Thomas and all the housework that comes with it! I think you need to have a honest talk with DH - you said in previous posts that he makes you feel bad about yourself.
Alternatively, put him on a plane to SA - some folk like "target practice" here..... LOL
Emilia xx

 

[beanie]

(((futuremum))), you know what my views are about your OH. Hun you are a wonderful mum, and are superwoman as well. You do an amazing job and Tom is so lucky to have you as a mum. You know where I am.... x

 

[Vicky]

(((Hug))))

Aww hun, he doesn't know that what he has got and that he is very lucky to have it. You are doing the best you can. Don't let him put you down hun.

 

[Lucy]

{{Hugs}}

Sounds like you are doing a fabulous job with going back to work, being a mum to Thomas and doing house chores as well.

Do you think your OH was stressed from something else and it just came out in a rant to you because Tom was crying? Sometimes I can snap at my DH when I'm tired and stressed about something.

Talk to your DH, point out that you are doing all the other bits like washing/ironing/cleaning etc and that you would like to spend more time with Tom but that there are only so many hours during the day! Perhaps you could draw up a rota so that sometimes your OH does the cleaning whilst you can play with Tom?

Don't be down - you don't deserve to be unhappy.

Lucy x

 

[Manda]

What? are all your partners not like that? i thought it was a mand thing, mine certainly is i thought they were all like it gee now i'm miffed. my OH will sit on the computer from the minute he gets up till going to bed or when he's working before and after work, then when io'm cleaning the house he'll tell me to relax and that i'm too fussy - yeah righto the house is normally a tip where he comes in and makes himself a snack and leaves the crumbs over the kitchen and clothes over the floor, crisp packets by the computer i could go on and on, if he looks after Abi it's while he is on the computer, he hasn't fed her in months and never baths her i've only just got him into changing her nappy hope that makes you feel better hun - oh and in the next couple iof weeks i'll be working too

 

[Vicky]

And i thought my OH was not doing anything, compared to some peoples OH my OH does quicket alot. when it suits him though